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    • Working moms often feel guilty they're not more involved in their child's school. This Chicago mom has ideas on how to get involved while still holding down a full-time job.
      As a mom of a rambunctious 3½-year-old girl and super-active 6-year-old boy and working full-time as a partner in family law, I’m often told that I “do it all.” The seemingly praiseworthy concept, while flattering, in no way rids me of mother’s guilt that plagues many of us who work outside the home. At all hours of the day, thoughts of "What experience did I miss out on today?" will creep across my desk, like when my son tells me about a class celebration that I had to miss due to a client meeting or court. That being said, my children know that “mom works” to help finance a lifestyle where more things are possible than not, and I know they love me for that. So, how to strike a balance? Here are some things I have done to ensure that I’m as involved as I can be without risking my day job.
       
      Take charge of the classroom. While this seems counterintuitive, being a room parent is not as labor intensive as one may think. I send class emails from my work email (many of which are just forwarded requests from other parents or school organizations) so I can be on top of events and needs at any point of the day. We created a classroom website on Shutterfly which makes it easy to communicate with the other parents. Not only has this kept me involved and aware, it’s allowed for me to get to know the other parents, which is key to staying connected.
       
      Look for special one-time opportunities to come to class and commit the time to your calendar. My son’s kindergarten class had “mystery readers” every Friday. Knowing the one day I could come and surprise my son by reading to his classmates way in advance allowed for me to schedule court and meetings around that one hour.
       
      Don’t overcommit. While I want to be a part of every parent organization and fundraising effort for my son’s school (a sign of my Type A personality), that’s entirely unrealistic. Just as you can’t donate to every philanthropic organization that comes your way, pick one volunteer organization with your kid’s school to get involved with, maybe during a time of year when you know your job may be slower. That way, you can feel connected but not worried that you aren’t getting your work completed.
       
      Katy Mickelson, her husband, Kory, and their two children live in Roscoe Village, a community they love and are proud to be a part of. Katy is a partner in the divorce and family law group at Beermann Pritikin Mirabelli Swerdlove LLP, where she has been practicing law since 2005.
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    • When you have an outgoing child, shy parents are often forced to confront their own awkward tendencies.
      There are characteristics I hope I can pass along to my 17-month-old son—my honesty, work ethic and reliability are a few. Preferring to be in the background in social situations is not one of those characteristics. Thankfully, he doesn’t seem to be following in daddy’s footsteps in that regard as no matter whether he’s with my wife and me at music or French class, the local playground, or NPN’s Fright-Free Halloween Fest, he always seems to be in the middle of the action, chatting with anyone and everyone, and just being his very social self. I’m thrilled to see this, but make no mistake, it can be a challenge when my son puts me in social situations that I would—under any other circumstance—try to find a way to avoid.
      So how do quiet, reserved parents like myself overcome their own social insecurities when their child doesn’t seem to have any? These strategies have been, at least at times, helpful for me:
      Don’t be such a grownup 
      We spend enough time paying bills, preparing meals, changing diapers and being responsible. Why not take your child’s lead, let loose a little, and, like the saying goes, “dance like no one is watching”? Scream and run around at the park with your little one. Sing with confidence with you’re asked to belt out an impromptu solo at Wiggleworms in front of a crowd of 10 parents and children. Throw on a wig and make Halloween fun for the first time since you were a kid. Besides an opportunity to make a fun memory with your child, what do you have to lose?
      Focus on the benefits
      When I go to the bakery around the corner for my small café latte, I rarely engage in small talk with any of the workers or other patrons. I’m there for my drink and then I either flip open my laptop or I head home.
      A few months ago, though, I was there on a Saturday morning with my son to pick up a snack and I started chatting with a man seated next to us. This man asked if I knew about the other coffee shop around the corner that had added a special kids section where kids could play with a train, toys and games while their parents could sit and drink a coffee. I had not.  But now, just because of that 5-minute conversation, that other coffee shop has become one of our family’s favorite local hangouts, especially when bad weather prevents us from going to the park.
      This is just a simple example, but it shows how opening yourself up to others can open doors for you and your child(ren) that you may have never even known existed.
      Avoid those dreaded awkward silences 
      A couple weeks ago on a rainy Sunday afternoon, my wife and I took our son to the above-mentioned coffee shop so he could play and we could get some much-needed caffeine after a long weekend of activities. We were the only ones there for about 15 minutes until another family arrived with their son, who was a little older than ours, and a baby girl.
      This area is cramped to begin with—I started feeling claustrophobic when none of the four adults were saying anything to each other. Just thinking about this experience makes me uncomfortable, and I regret not saying something more than “Hello” when they arrived and “Have a good night” when we left. I can only imagine how much more enjoyable this experience would have been for everyone had someone struck up some sort of conversation to break the ice. Instead of worrying about saying the wrong thing, just saying anything can sometimes be all that it takes to get a good conversation going.
      Remember that you’re setting an example 
      I think about this one often as our son is in that phase where he’s repeating almost everything my wife and I say and mimicking our movements. It’s quite remarkable to see this type of growth, but it has also opened my eyes to how observant he has become of our behavior. And he’s just going to become more and more aware. So it’s up to my wife and I to show him that it’s not only safe to connect with others, but he can gain a lot from these interactions.
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    • Use these tips to prepare your child for Daylight Saving Time and prevent an up-ended schedule.
      On Sunday, November 4 at 2am, Daylight Saving Time ends—and for parents, this means a lot more than simply setting the clock back an hour.
      “Time change can have a drastic impact on children, especially young children who easily become overtired,” said Mahdi Dadrass, Executive Director and Co-Founder of South Loop Montessori School. “More than just cranky moods or unpredictable temper tantrums, restlessness can drive habit-creating challenges that impede upon learning, impact social interaction at school, and slow down the routine at home and at bedtime.”
      To help parents prepare for Daylight Saving Time and avoid issues that can come with just one hour of change, consider the following tips to get ahead before we fall back.
      Take baby steps. Don't just set the clock back and expect your child to be in sync; remember that it takes some time to adapt. To prepare, gradually delay your child’s bedtime by about 15 minutes every day. For example, if your child goes to bed at 8pm, about four days before the time change, move bedtime to 8:15pm, then 8:30pm, and so on until your child is going to bed as close to 9pm as possible. Try to wake her a little later, as well.
      Stick to a routine. When Daylight Saving Time ends (or begins in the spring), it is important to stick with a bedtime routine. This creates a signal for sleep. It should be repeated nightly and never rushed, especially when dealing with a schedule change that can throw kids off.
      Control the lights: The body's internal circadian clock is regulated with the help of a hormone called melatonin. As it becomes dark in the evening, melatonin increases and helps induce sleep. It shuts down when it's light out, which increases wakefulness and alertness. To prepare for the time change, make sure your child has some light exposure in the early evening and ensure that their room isn't too bright in the morning, especially after the shift when you’ll see more morning sunlight than you’ve been seeing these last couple months.
      Get enough sleep now. Remember, the younger the child, the easier it is to become overtired, which can make falling asleep even harder. Go into Daylight Saving Time well-rested (and that means you too, Mom and Dad). A well-rested person will best adapt to the time change.
      When Daylight Saving Time begins in the spring, this approach will also help and can prevent things like night wakings, early wake-ups and shorter naps. Follow the same guidelines, just push the wake-up time and bedtime a little earlier rather than later.
      South Loop Montessori School is an independent learning institution that aims to deliver the highest standard of Montessori education in the Chicagoland area by meeting the academic, social, emotional, spiritual and intellectual needs of children 8 weeks to 9 years of age. It offers year-round, all-day programs based on the Montessori Method in a stimulating learning facility.
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    • Tips and examples to get the communication about school started between you and your child.
      When you ask your kids the question, “How was school today?”, count yourself lucky if you get an “OK” or “fine.” As parents, we all want to know: Are they having fun? Are they playing nicely with others? Are they nurturing healthy relationships with their friends and peers? And the one that worries us the most, Are they eating lunch? Every day, tons of us suffer from not being able to communicate effectively with our children. As a mother of three and a parent educator, I’ve had to learn how to communicate with young children, especially after school. Here are some tips and examples to get the communication between you and your child started.
      Be mindful. Know that they have been sitting for most of the day (at least six hours!), and some days they may be frustrated about the day and not ready to talk. Bite your tongue and resist the urge to wear your FBI hat. Do not interrogate them. You may want to wait until dinner or bedtime to ask. In the meantime, concentrate on making the time fun and relaxing by asking easy questions, e.g., example “What would you like to eat for dinner?”
      Ask open-ended questions and be specific: “Tell me about something new you learned in Math today.” “Where is the coolest place in the school? Why?” “Who is the funniest person in your class? Why?”
      Share something about your day and ask about theirs: “I had a tuna sandwich for lunch. What about you?” “I am getting ready for a meeting tomorrow and need to create an agenda. When is your next exam and what is it going to include?”
      Use their artwork as a conversation starter: “Which technique did you use here?” “What were you feeling when you drew this?”
      Ask silly/fun questions: “Tell me something that made you laugh today.” “If you could be the teacher tomorrow, what would you teach and how would you teach it?”
      Know the school schedule: “Today is Thursday: Tell me about the new song you are learning in music class today.”
      Don’t forget the not-so-nice questions: “Tell me about something that made you sad today.” “Is there someone in your class that needs a time-out? Why?” “What can you do when you feel sad or frustrated in school?”
      Finally, listen. As soon as your child gets in the car, stop whatever you are doing and be present in the moment. Let them be the first to say anything and do not come up with conclusions before you hear the entire story. Children gain confidence as they relate their day and you affirm them. Be aware of signs. Your child may be showing off more than just having a bad day. Remember to stay in constant communication with the teacher. Teaming with the teacher helps the child be successful because after all, it takes a village!
      Nilmari Donate is the founder of HKC Parenting and School Consulting Services. She holds a BA in Public Health and an MA in Parenting Education and Support from DePaul University. She is the mother of three young bilingual and multicultural children.
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    • All Illinois teachers in public and charter schools are required to use a new tool called the Kindergarten Individual Development Survey (KIDS) to observe and document students’ development.
      Kindergarten is a pivotal year for kids and families. Leading up to the big send-off, many parents feel tremendous pressure and spend countless hours worrying about where their child will go to school, if they are making the best educational choices for their family and how they will juggle a new schedule. 
      Meanwhile, kindergarten students transition from their early childhood environment—whether it’s a childcare center, preschool or at home—to a more structured approach to learning in the classroom with new classmates, a new teacher and often a new school. As families experience this educational milestone, it is critical to ensure that every child entering kindergarten is ready to learn.
      A young child’s development in language and literacy, math, social and emotional learning, and skills such as curiosity, creativity, and perseverance, are predictors of a child’s long-term success. Understanding kindergarten students’ strengths in these areas as they begin their “formal” educational journey allows teachers and families to build a strong foundation for children to learn and grow through school. 
      This year, for the first time in Illinois, all teachers in public and charter schools are required to use a new tool called the Kindergarten Individual Development Survey (KIDS) to observe and document students’ development in four domains—Approaches to Learning and Self-Regulation, Social and Emotional Development, Language and Literacy Development and Math. KIDS is based on observation, meaning teachers will collect information while students are going about their daily routines of learning and playing. (Chances are that students in the classroom won’t even notice what their teachers are doing!) 
      KIDS will provide the state and districts with consistent and comprehensive data on how well students are prepared to learn upon arriving to kindergarten. Ideally, teachers will use information from KIDS to guide conversations with parents and families about their own child’s needs to ensure instruction throughout kindergarten is developmentally appropriate for all children in the class. KIDS also will connect Illinois to a national movement to deepen understanding of children’s development at the state level. 
      Having this information will the allow state and districts to:
      Better understand how educators and communities can best collaborate across grade levels—from early childhood through elementary school; Establish stronger partnerships with schools and families to support individual children’s growth and development in-school and at-home; Inform policymakers on the most effective ways to allocate resources to best support all kids and communities across the state. Prior to KIDS, the first evaluation of student learning was typically in third grade when they are required to take a state-mandated standardized test. While test scores are a significant input into evaluating a student’s overall skills and abilities, they do not consider other areas of development, including social and emotional, that are key to lifelong success in school and the workplace. Evidence increasingly suggests that the early years may be the most important time for children to acquire proficiencies in these areas. 
      Whether you have a child approaching kindergarten or is in kindergarten, it is important to support your child’s learning and development at home. You can find a toolkit including suggested activities and resources to support family engagement in the key learning domains at   https://www.isbe.net/Pages/KIDS_Parents_Families.aspx. 
      As KIDS enters the second year of implementation, advocates and educators hope that the initiative brings more awareness, focus and resources on the importance of kindergarten readiness among communities and policymakers and deepens the commitment across the state to ensuring every Illinois child arrives at kindergarten ready to learn. 
      Here is a short informational video about KIDS; you can also learn more at www.isbe.net/KIDS.  
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    • Place a teal pumpkin outside your door to show your inclusion of kids with food allergies during Halloween trick-or-treating.
      For families dealing with food allergies, Halloween is more than just a tricky time of year. The trick-or-treat haul brings home the potential for an allergic reaction to something as simple as a piece of candy corn. Dairy, egg, peanuts, soy, wheat, tree nuts… the list goes on for all of the allergens hiding in those variety bags we hope to catch on sale.  
      As the parent of a child recently diagnosed with four of the top eight allergens, I was really surprised by what I found when I began reading the ingredient lists on everything I brought home.  
      Here’s just a sample of what you might find in your child’s bucket this Halloween:
      Milky Way (dairy, soy, egg) Snickers (dairy, soy, egg, peanut)  Twix (dairy, wheat, soy) Sour Patch Kids (processed in the same facility as dairy, soy, wheat, peanut, tree nut) Regulations are making it easier to know what’s in your food and manufacturers are doing a good job of highlighting the top eight or cross-contamination possibilities in your food. But the lines and facilities used are not always the same even within the same product. A particular item purchased in one grocery store may not have the same cross-contamination possibilities as that exact item in another shipment or a different store location.  
      Now, before you roll your eyes as I make yet another special request of parents who are already up to their necks in to-do lists, please consider this: According to FARE (Food Allergy Research and Education) “the prevalence of food allergy in children increased by 50% between 1997 and 2011” and “1 in every 13 children has a food allergy.” The numbers continue to grow and much is still unknown about why more and more children each day are diagnosed with food allergies than ever before.
      My point is, no one wants to hold their little ones back from one of the most iconic experiences of childhood. Nor do we want them to accept all of those goodies only to have them taken away at home as they eagerly sort through their treasures. (The trauma!)  
      By placing a teal pumpkin outside your door, you are letting those with food allergies know that you are offering non-food treats and showing your support and inclusion of children with food allergies in this timeless tradition. These treats can be purchased inexpensively and set aside to be offered to kids looking for your teal pumpkin insignia, allowing them to take part in the fun!
      Ideas for non-food treats that can be bought in bulk on Amazon for less than $10:
      Glow sticks Bubbles Finger puppets Stickers Temporary tattoos You could even get creative with your kids by painting your own teal pumpkin and open a dialogue about allergies and inclusiveness. With the numbers growing as they are, chances are your child will know many friends and classmates facing the challenge of eating outside the safe zone.  
      If you are participating, take a moment to add your home to the FARE Teal Pumpkin participation map here to help parents plan ahead for a successful night out.
      Now if only we could start a map of houses where we could reload on spiked apple cider and craft brews to fend off the cold…
      Jamie Donovan lives in Ukrainian Village, works in the Loop, and is mom to Molly and Charlie. In her not-so-spare time, she enjoys reading and wondering if her house renovation in North Center will ever be finished.
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    • These Chicago restaurants, hotels, parks, theaters and movie theaters are especially accommodating to special-needs kids and families.
      As parents to a wonderful, energetic special needs 8-year-old, my husband and I are constantly thinking of ways to enjoy our chaotic lives as much as possible. And because our lives are anything but "normal," it’s not always easy to enjoy all the typical fun things like dining out, going to live theatre, visiting a museum or taking a vacation. We are always fearful that Lia will act out because of boredom, frustration or sensory overload. If she gets upset, it is money wasted because you leave so other paying patrons can actually enjoy their experiences.
      But the good news is Chicago has come a long way in making life more enjoyable for those with special needs! The entertainment industry is finally listening and becoming more inclusive. Here are our favorite Chicago-area spots that are especially accommodating to kids with special needs.
      Restaurants: There are also some restaurants that offer a special-needs night courtesy of Autism Eats, a non-profit that partners with local restaurants to offer special-needs nights featuring buffet or family-style service and adjusted music and lighting.
      Hotels: Chicago Marriott Northwest. Recently we were given a certificate for a one-night stay at this hotel, but Lia has terrible sleep issues and falls out of a regular bed. We contacted the hotel and they said they would do what they could to help. We arrived and someone was waiting for us to make sure the mattress they put on the floor with rails and pillows would work out. We had the best time even when she had a tantrum in the hotel restaurant. The manager came over to us to assure all was ok. I can’t stress enough how amazing this was for us! 
      Theaters: Lifeline Theatre Sensory Friendly Show, Blue Man Group. All lower the sound, turn up lights and let your kiddo run around and provide places to retreat for those that need some quiet. Some also offer headphones, fidgets, social narratives and parent guides to support your kiddo.
      Goodman Theatre offers a sensory-friendly version of A Christmas Carol!
      Movies: AMC Sensory Friendly Movies are on the second and fourth Saturdays of the month and Studio Movie Grill Sensory Friendly Movies are monthly. Theatre lights are turned up, sound is lowered and there are no previews!
      Places to play: 
      The Playground for Everyone: Amazing park in Elmhurst created for kids of all abilities. Lia can do a mini zip line safely!
      Siegel’s Cottonwood Farm Special Needs Weekends: The pre-registration date has passed to gain free admission the Oct. 28-29 special-needs weekend at this pumpkin farm, but all special needs families are still welcome to attend! In addition to pumpkin picking, there's zip lines, pony rides, corn maze, train rides and more.
      The Field Museum Sensory Saturdays: The Crown Family PlayLab opens one hour early (9-10am) for special-needs families, then you can explore the rest of the museum for free all day. Must pre-register.
      Chicago Children's Museum Play for All days: On the second Saturday of every month, the museum opens an hour early for families and children with disabilities. The first 250 to register gets free admission. 
      Kohl Children’s Museum's Everyone at Play days: Monthly Sundays from 9:30-11:30am are reserved for special-needs families. 
      DuPage Children’s Museum's Family Night Out and Third Thursdays: See website for details. 
      Parents, get out there and have some fun with your kiddos! We all deserve it! 
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    • It's not easy getting your kids to make healthy food choices. But if you do this one thing, you may be able to help create healthy habits.
      In recent years, the rise in childhood obesity and diet-related disease, like type 2 diabetes, have been hot topics of discussion. I think it is safe to say that parents want their children to be healthy, but figuring out how to help them make healthy choices may feel daunting. Particularly when simply getting your child to eat may be a battle.
      The best thing you can do? Get them involved in the food choices for the family. But start small. Pick one step below that you feel comfortable with and build from there. 
      Plan a menu. Pick some recipes that you feel comfortable making and deem healthy options. Then let your kids help you choose which meals to make that week. For younger kids, you can use pictures and tell them about the recipes.
      Make a list. Now you can create your shopping list. Older kids can help with writing the list and younger ones may be able to help you check for items you already have at home. Kids can also help you identify what staple items you may need such as cereal or favorite snacks. Make sure to read the list together so everyone knows what items you’ll be looking for at the store.
      Let them help. Let them count produce items and place them in bags. This is also a great time to teach them how to pick a ripe avocado or check an apple for bruising.
      Read labels. Teach older kids how to read nutrition labels and what things you look for when picking foods. It’s helpful to pick one item on the label to focus on such as saturated fat, sugar, or protein. Eventually, they can compare products to make the healthiest choice. It’s also a good idea to check the ingredients. Have them count the number of ingredients and read as many of them as they can. Encourage them to ask questions about the ingredients. This is a great way to start a conversation about how you evaluate the content of the food you buy.
      Be adventurous. Ask each child to pick a fruit or vegetable they’ve never had but would like to try.
      Get them in the kitchen. When it’s time to cook, find ways for kids to help prepare the meal. With just one small job kids become more involved in the process. This increases the chances they actually eat the food, even items they previously refused.
      The goal is to involve and empower kids in the decision-making process around what they are eating. If you can do this, you are more likely to get their cooperation. You will likely find that trips to the grocery store are also a little easier when kids have tasks to accomplish. Remember to start with what works for you and your family. Even a small step toward healthier eating is moving in a positive direction.
      Karla Gidwani lives in Lincoln Square and is mom to two young girls. Karla works for Chicago Primal Gym as a strength coach and studio manager.
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    • Here are 3 steps you can take right now to bully-proof your child with positive emotional skills.
      As parents, we want our children to be happy. We want them to have friends. We want them to feel part of the group. The last thing we want is for our children to feel like they are on the outside looking in or, worse yet, being the victim of a bully.
      Why are some children the target of negative attention in the form of bullying or exclusion from peers, while others seem to escape this experience? After working with hundreds of families, I’ve observed that on some level, children who suffer negative attention feel unworthy and lack self-acceptance. Essentially, they feel like a victim.
      Feeling like a victim is feeling powerless. It’s holding a belief that life is happening to you, rather than something you can have an active role in shaping.
      What does this have to do with bullying? In the case of bullying, if your child feels powerless in her life, she is more susceptible to having this experience. 
      This is not to say that the victim is responsible, or that the bullying behavior is condoned because someone is projecting a “victim” quality. The person who bullies is in every way fully responsible for their actions. But people who carry around victim energy are more likely to be the target of negative attention.  
      [Related: Protecting Your Child From Bullying (member-only video)]

      The sad thing is that children who project this victim energy often don't realize what they are doing and, without this awareness, they are powerless to change. Feeling like a victim is a learned response to life's circumstances. The good news is that this habitual, learned response can be unlearned by practicing some new emotional skills.  
      Here are 3 steps you can take right now to bully-proof your child with positive emotional skills:
      Stop speaking like a victim. Saying things like "she made me feel sad" or "he's making me mad" is "victim-speak." It gives all of the power to the other person. No one can "make" us feel a certain way unless we give them permission to do so. If you catch your child (or yourself) speaking like this, turn the statement around. Instead of "he's making me mad," encourage your child to say "I feel mad" or "I choose to feel mad in this situation." This shift in speech is subtle, but it puts ownership for your child's feelings with him. Practicing this more empowering way of speaking will, over time, give your child a feeling of power over his situation. “As within, so without.” 
      [Related: Why I follow the Montessori method to combat bullying]
      Know that a higher power is always there to help. It doesn't matter what this higher power is to your family, but just the knowledge that there is something greater than us can give your child a great deal of confidence in his ability to stand strong in the face of challenges. If he feels he will always be okay, that energy will emanate from him. Bullies don't want to struggle. If they feel this strong, powerful energy coming from your child (and they will feel it!), they will move on to someone else. 
      Find things to feel good about, and think about them often.There is always something to feel good about, if you think about it. The more you look for what is good in your life, the more you get into the "feelings" that these good thoughts evoke, and then the more good you will draw to you. When your child learns to shift her thoughts from things she fears to things she feels grateful for, everything around her will change for the better. Your child can learn simple ways to take control of her thoughts and emotions, and when she does, her confidence will skyrocket and her tendency toward thinking like a victim will diminish.
      You can download Jill’s audio training, “7 Secrets to Building a Foundation of Confidence and Self-Esteem in Kids," FREE for a limited time here: http://bullyproofstrategies.com/.
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    • Having a child puts a strain on just about any marriage. Here's how one Chicago dad and mom nurture their relationship with a one-year-old toddler.
      Seven years of marriage has taught me a lot. How communicating with my wife (and really listening) when I would prefer to shut down really helps us solve problems. How saying “I’m sorry” should only be used if I truly mean it, because it could lead to further issues if I don’t. How marriage can be the most rewarding relationship I’ve ever experienced if I put in the work, and how it can be incredibly challenging if I don’t.
       
      Yet no matter how much I’ve learned and how much work I’ve put into our relationship since we said “I do,” bringing our son home from the hospital last year has brought about a whole new set of stresses and challenges that, at times, has put a strain on our marriage. I think that tends to happen as attention shifts from spouse to child.
       
      Let me stop here and make it clear that I’m in no way qualified to offer advice about what you need to do to have a happy and healthy marriage. Everyone’s situation is different. So I’m just going to share what has allowed my wife and me to focus on our relationship during the infrequent mommy-daddy times that we can enjoy. If this can somehow benefit you and your significant other in some way, then great. If not, I hope you find what works best for you.
       
      Commentate on reality TV. After a day of juggling a never-ending string of emails, piles of laundry, overflowing Diaper Genies, and dealing with our son’s sometimes unwillingness to eat anything but Puffs and fruit, my wife and I will often veg out on the couch and share a laugh at the expense of reality TV “stars” and their drama. Sometimes we stay up too late watching these mindless programs—and we pay for it the next morning when our son decides to start chatting at 4:30am—but it’s nice to shut our brains off for a while, have a few good laughs, and just relax.
       
      Organize living room picnics. Who doesn’t like to go out for a nice dinner? We miss those nights out on the town, but it can be pricey when you’re paying for a babysitter and dinner. Plus, we’re parents to a 15-month-old—we get tired at, like, 9pm these days. So one solution to get out of the house while still at home is this: Once our son is down for the night, we order takeout and share a meal and a conversation about our day on a blanket in our living room. I’ll take that any day over the picnics we used to have in Millennium Park.
       
      Offer our daily or weekly appreciation. My wife deserves all the credit for this one. How this works is at the end of the day or week we’ll tell each other what we appreciate about each other. This can be as simple as me telling her that I appreciate her cleaning up our son’s dresser or her letting me know that she appreciates me finally deciding to wash the dishes. The point of this exercise is that we’re acknowledging each other’s contributions and not taking each other for granted.
       
      Run. My wife and I both turn 40 this year, so as part of that celebration, we’re running our first marathon this December in Honolulu. While we can’t go on training runs together because the other is at home watching our son, we’ve had babysitters and my parents watch our son while we’ve run more weekend races (5Ks, 10Ks, a 10-miler, a half marathon) this year than ever before. My wife and I talk frequently about best running routes, how to avoid and treat injuries, and what it might feel like when we finally complete our first 26.2. We love our son to death, but it’s been really nice to have a shared goal and a common interest that doesn’t involve him.
       
      Matt Beardmore used to cover sports for ESPN The Magazine and the Chicago Tribune, and contribute to The New York Times Travel section and In Transit blog, but he’d much rather write about a far more important topic—being a dad.
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    • Think your commute is bad? Here's the crosstown commute of one Chicago mom who has 2 kids in 2 different schools.
      Ever wonder what a “typical” day is like for a mom with two school-aged kids attending two different schools in two vastly different neighborhoods? We are a family in the South Loop, with a first-grader and preschooler. When our son received an offer to attend a highly-regarded CPS Selective Enrollment Elementary School on the far South Side last year, we were ecstatic about his opportunity but also had to give much consideration to how accepting that spot would turn our daily routine upside down.
      It meant swapping our 4-block walk to our neighborhood school for a 17-mile drive (34 miles round trip). The morning school bus, with a 6:25am pickup time, was not a viable option for us (much too early for a 6-year-old), but it was doable for getting home after school. There were many other trade-offs to consider, but the new school’s promise of an appropriately challenging curriculum, smaller class sizes, and intimate yet diverse community made the other sacrifices acceptable. We were also fortunate that my part-time job allowed us the flexibility to manage all of the necessary driving ourselves. Here’s a peek into our crazy weekday lives, from September to June:
      5:30am Wake up, shower, make coffee, pack breakfasts (to be eaten on the drive to school) and lunches. Check my calendar for the day, breathe, and enjoy the silence.
      6:30am Wake kids, get them washed up, dressed and ready for school.
      7:00am Corral everyone into the car. Quick scan for backpacks, lunch bags, breakfast bags and anything else that needs to go to school because there will be no time to come back for anything forgotten. Must pull out of garage by 7:05am.
      7:05–7:35am Southbound commute on the Dan Ryan. Thank goodness for a reverse, typically traffic-free commute on the first leg of our morning drive. KidzBop on the radio. Some mornings, I embrace it and sing along happily with the kids. Other mornings, I want to put earplugs in.
      7:35am First drop-off at my son’s school (Keller RGC) in Mount Greenwood. School starts at 7:45am. If we’re running late, we do curbside drop-off. Otherwise, he insists that I walk him in.
      7:45am Back on the road for the slow commute back downtown on the Dan Ryan. Disney tunes on the radio.
      8:30–8:40am Second drop-off at my daughter’s preschool (Daystar School) in the South Loop, after she has been sitting in the car for 90 minutes. School starts at 8:30am; we are often last to arrive or late, depending on traffic.
      8:45am As I’m driving back home (by now, I’ve been in car for 1hr 40min), receive phone call from my son’s school, alerting me that he is having a mild allergic reaction to something he ate in the school breakfast (this would be breakfast #2 for him; I have already reviewed the breakfast options to ensure there is nothing on the menu he is allergic to). I give permission for school staff to administer his allergy medicine, but he gets on the phone and asks me to come.
      8:50am Stop at Starbucks for venti coffee before getting back on the road to Mount Greenwood.
      9:20am Arrive at my son’s school, his allergy medication has kicked in and now he is fine. Ask him what he ate; nothing he mentions falls into his food allergy categories. Give him a hug and kiss, thank his teacher for calling me, get back in car.
      9:35am Back on the road again for Dan Ryan commute into downtown. Listen to news radio, podcasts — anything but KidzBop and Disney Radio.
      10:15am Arrive back home, 3 hours after I first left. Now, finally, my day can begin.
      10:15am–2:00pm Work from home. Work breaks consist of whatever is at top of home to-do list for the day (throw load of laundry into washer/dryer, quick trip to grocery store, etc.).
      2:00pm Go for a run or take a yoga class. Or, more typically, use the time to run an errand I didn’t have time for earlier.
      3:20–3:30pm Pick up my daughter from preschool; drive to my son’s school bus stop at our neighborhood public school.
      3:55–4:05pm Meet school bus for my son’s afternoon drop-off. We are the last stop, and my son has been on the bus for at least 1 hour. Thankfully, he uses some of that time to do his homework, which leaves more time for playing before dinner and bedtime.
      Of course, our day doesn’t end at 4:00pm. There are still afterschool activities and team sports that both children are involved in, depending on the day of the week. Dinner happens anywhere between 6:30-7:30pm, bedtime between 8:00-9:00pm. After catching up with my husband after work, tidying up around the house, and finishing up any work tasks from the day, I finally go to bed somewhere around midnight (maybe 11pm on a good night). And then we start over again.
      If you’re reading this and thinking, “That’s crazy!” yes, indeed, it sort of is. But the key for us has been keeping focused on our family’s priorities and remembering the old adage, “The days are long, but the years are short.”
      Didi Lewis, NPN's Program Manager, is leading the CPS 101 workshop at the NPN Preschool & Elementary School Fair on Sept. 24. Free admission for members—RSVP today!
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    • Hoping your preschooler ends up at an Ivy League school? The biggest predictor of student success is engaged, involved parents.
      Parenting a toddler can be hard enough without the pressures of finding that “perfect” school for your curious, inquisitive, rambunctious and eager little one. You’ve heard the rumors before: ”Get into the right school now so that your path to Harvard is assured. If you miss your window, you’ve missed your chance!” But is that really true? Is there even such a thing as a “golden ticket” to those coveted universities? Are we doomed to let go of those lofty dreams if we send our child to the up-and-coming school down the street? Does it really all start with preschool?!
      [Related: Play all day? That's exactly what your preschooler should be doing]
      Rest assured that the biggest predictor of student success is engaged, involved parents versus a hefty tuition bill or a storied, exclusive school. As parents, our main job is to make sure our child is thriving, growing, staying inquisitive and learning how to get along with others in whatever environment they find themselves.
      While rumors abound among new parents (especially from the exclusive and pricey enclaves of New York City) that a child’s path to educational nirvana starts with the right brand-name preschool, the real skinny is that it simply isn’t true. Here in Chicago, we are lucky to have a breadth of school options that can all spark a lifelong quest for knowledge. Plus, the diversity of our city makes for a rich educational experience in its own right.
      Angst-ridden nights worrying about how and when to get into the “right” preschool become unnecessary when parents realize that not only do kids at “top” high schools come from all pathways (public, private, well known, under the radar, selective, traditional, etc.), but the coveted colleges only accept a small number of students from each high school, no matter the caliber of students. In the end, the goal for parents is to find schools that allow your child to unleash their potential and develop their self-confidence, no matter the name on the school’s door.
      [Related: What's up with Universal Pre-K? Here's what we know]
      But what about entry years and getting into a certain school? Is it worth the anxiety? While it’s true that more spots can be available if you apply when a program starts, there is always attrition and families can and do make school changes based on a child’s evolving needs and desires as he/she grows. The array of Chicago school choices means that finding a great school fit at any time along your child’s school journey is possible.
      From the play-based preschool to the Reggio-inspired elementary to the international baccalaureate high school, all experiences shape each child’s unique skills, interests and goals, which combine into the thoughtful, empathetic and well-rounded high schooler that the coveted universities are looking for.
      Research different types of school options at NPN’s Preschool & Elementary School Fair to learn about the many school offerings in and around Chicago. Remember: If a child begins his/her early education at a school that feels right for your family but isn’t necessarily a “big name” draw, don’t fret or feel pressured to make a change. That “happy fit” preschool is creating the spark that will go on to shape the innate curiosity and interests of your future college-bound child, wherever they ultimately attend!
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    • If back-to-school transitions are tough for your child, try thees tips for a smoother start to the school year.
      The transition from summer to the new school year can be difficult for any child. It definitely is for my 8-year-old special-needs child, Lia, so my husband and I have tried a lot of techniques and have found some things that work. We’ve also come across some great ideas from other parents. Keep in mind that not all of these suggestions or ideas will work for you, but it’s worth a try for kiddos that struggle getting back into the school routine every year.
      Keep it low-key – If you are planning to take some time off before school starts, do some low-key activities rather than high energy, wild vacations. This could ease the child’s transition.
      -Physicals and immunizations – Doctors’ offices get very busy at this time of the year, so schedule visits early.
      -Supplies and school clothes – Don’t wait until the last minute to shop! Having spent many years in retail I know firsthand that back to school shopping is one of the busiest and most profitable for retailers. There are some great sales right now! Having said that Lia HATES shopping! I suggest having a well thought out list handy with all your back-to-school needs. When you are on your way to work, on your lunch hour or on your way to the gym, stop quickly to pick up those needed items right then and there!
      -Picture schedules – Create a picture schedule of daily routines. This will let your kid know what to expect throughout the day. Include dressing, grooming, eating, bus rides, school, teacher and aide pictures. If you have therapy after school or you have to pick up your kiddo early, make sure you include this in the picture schedule as well.
      -Dressing routine – Label five stacking bins Monday through Friday with an outfit for each day. Let your child pick the outfits if able. This will give her a sense of involvement and ownership.
      -Bed time – Ease your kiddos into their school bedtime schedules. It’s not easy! Limit screen time at least an hour before retiring for the evening. Take long baths to relax (Epsom salts, lavender oils, favorite tub toys, etc.). If your kids have been going to bed late all summer then start their bedtime transition about a week before school starts by moving up their bedtime routine anywhere from 10 to 15 mins earlier each night and wake them 10 to 15 mins earlier each morning. 
      -School bus - Make sure you know the bus company's name, phone, route number and pick-up time! Once you get the confirmation card in the mail call the bus company to confirm this information a couple of days before school starts. Times may change and you may not be updated. This has been known to happen!
      -Teacher and aides - Get to know the staff in your child’s class as well as the office. Make sure you have the teacher's email address and phone number. Be sure to let them know what type of summer you have had and the current situation with transition, tantrums, therapies, or anything you are currently working on (life skills, behavior modifications, etc.). 
      Lastly, I always suggest getting involved in the school. Join the LSC or “friends of….” committee to get to know other parents/teachers and principals. You want to get to know as many people as possible in case you come across any concerns or issues. This also creates a network of support for you child.
      Remember to maintain a positive attitude about summer ending and school beginning. Let your child know the new school year will lead to seeing old friends and hopefully making new ones.  
      Here’s to a wonderful and successful school year!
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    • These are the top 3 things to do in Chicago neighborhood Lincoln Park with kids from Kathleen Dragan, author of Rickshaw Reggie.
      There are lots of families who already call Lincoln Park home, but many more who haven’t yet explored all it has to offer! Summer is a great time to take advantage of the parks, the markets and the free activities hosted in Lincoln Park. In keeping with our theme of three things—one inside, one outside, one that involves food—these are the top things to do in Lincoln Park.
      Inside
      Where can you see the first “L” car, learn about the Great Chicago Fire of 1871 and turn yourself into a larger-than-life Chicago hot dog? The Chicago History Museum, of course! Admission for kids (under 12) is free, adults who are Illinois residents enter free on Tuesdays from 12:30–7:30 pm.
      Insider tip: Pick up a membership to the Chicago History Museum or one of its affiliates and get free entry to all of those museums: DuSable Museum, National Museum of Mexican Art and National Museum of Puerto Rican Arts and Culture. All are well worth the investment, and since they’re a bit off the tourist circuit, you likely won’t have to battle the crowds and lines to enjoy their exhibits.
      Outside
      From the south end of Lincoln Park all the way up to the Lincoln Park Conservatory, you can enjoy miles of beautiful paths through the park. Stop by the Lincoln Park Zoo—one of the only free zoos left in the United States! My kids have been especially charmed by Seiku the polar bear, one of the zoo's newest additions. Ask a zookeeper about his training times and you could get an up-close-and-personal encounter with this powerful animal!
      It seems there’s always something going on around this stretch of Lincoln Park: soccer games, festivals, impromptu concerts—you name it. We love checking out Green City Market on Wednesday mornings, where you’ll never run out of delicious food options to try. Come say hi to me on Wednesday, August 30, at 10:30am—I’ll be reading to kids at the Club Sprout tent!
      Food
      We all know Chicago has as many opinions for pizza as there are restaurants in which to eat it. And I love them all. If pressed, however, I’d tell you that my favorite is right here in Lincoln Park: Pequod’s Pizza. That caramelized cheese crust makes my mouth water just thinking about it! Plus, if you go on a weekday for lunch, you can get a 7” pizza plus a drink for $4.95!
      Lincoln Park has a gem around every corner and it’s easy to fill a whole day just wandering past the parks, the shops and the turrets, those beautiful, rounded towers on corner buildings fashioned after German castles. Bring your imagination (and your appetite) and have a great time!
      Kathleen Dragan is a South Looper and a mom of two Chicagoans. You can read more about Lincoln Park and many other neighborhoods in Kathleen's children's book Rickshaw Reggie, available now! Follow her on Instagram @RickshawReggie to see more of her Chicago adventures.
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    • Whether your child is starting school for the first time or is just one of those kids who struggles with new routines, here are some suggestions for how to make the back-to-school transition smoother.
      As a kid, I loved buying supplies for the new school year, picking out my outfit for the first day and wondering what my new teacher would be like. Not all children feel the same way as I did (including my own) and many start feeling worried about the transition. Whether your child is starting school for the first time or is just one of those kids who struggles with new routines, here are some suggestions for how to make the back-to-school transition go a little more smoothly.
      Talk about it. Bring up a conversation about starting school and hear their concerns. As parents, we often want to fix the problem for them so we can make them feel better (and ourselves, too). But kids sometimes just want to know someone is listening to what they have to say. If they are having a hard time opening up, remark about an observation you have made to get them to talk (“I noticed that you keep changing the subject when we mention school. Is there anything you want to talk about?”). Or, ask them a question that might get to the cause of what is bothering them, such as worries about who they will sit with at lunch, or concerns as to what their teacher might be like. Lastly, let them know it is OK to feel a mixture of feelings such as being excited, nervous, curious, scared, etc., about starting school. It’s a way to validate that what they are going through is normal.
      Plan a visit. For my son, we did a lot of drive-bys of the school so the building became a familiar sight. Depending on the grade level, this could also mean going to the school playground to become acquainted (or reacquainted) and learn what door they will be entering the building. For students entering middle or high school, most schools have a new student orientation. If they don’t, considering asking the principal/counselor to see if you can get a tour of the building beforehand.
      Read about it. If your child is going to preschool or kindergarten, reading a book about school anxiety is a great way to help manage their fears. Some of our family’s favorites are The Kissing Hand, I Am Too Absolutely Small for School, and It’s Hard to Be Five. For older elementary school kids, other books about general anxiety such as Wilma Jean the Worry Machine or What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Anxiety could be helpful.
      Plan for it. For younger kids going full-day for the first time, having a photo in their backpack of your family could ease the transition (just knowing it was there was helpful for my son). For older kids, help them find ways to get together with those friends they didn’t get to see over summer break, so they are excited about starting the new school year together. If you know your child has a difficult time with transitions, send the teacher an email a few days before school starts to let her know.
      Despite its challenges, I love this stressful, fun, playful age. I hope these techniques will help bring you a little more joy through the meltdown phase. They do say it’s a phase, right?
      Julie Safranski, MSW, LCSW has a background as a school social worker and is a licensed therapist who enjoys working with children, adolescents and their families. She lives in Albany Park with her husband and son.
      This article previously appeared in the NPN member newsletter, Parent to Parent. Learn about other member benefits.
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    • Noting the mistakes your child makes with school assignments can inform how to better teach concepts in a way he or she will understand.
      If you are the parent of a child who is struggling with learning and/or attention and you are not getting support, answers or a plan of action from the school, you are not alone. Approximately 20% of school-aged children face some learning challenge during their academic careers. That’s 10 million children in the U.S. alone!
      Many children, especially those without a diagnosis or clear-cut, identified challenge, are often not given the necessary support for their learning needs in the school setting. They fall through the cracks.
      Even good schools are often underfunded and understaffed, making it difficult to address the needs of all children. Parents face frustration and anxiety as they look to the school for guidance, often receiving vague feedback, conflicting advice and discouraging remarks such as “Just wait it out” or “Your child just isn’t trying.”
      We live in an age where parents need to take the wheel, armed with an understanding of the nuances around their child’s learning needs. How can parents do this?
        First, it helps for parents to understand…
      Input (how children are taught) Output (how children are assessed) Cognitive processing (how memory, attention, processing speed, reasoning and executive functioning play a role in learning) How does this information help? Because looking into what is tricky for our kids—and what types of mistakes they tend to make—is the game changer.
      When children are struggling to learn, it is often because they misunderstand the concept or use inefficient strategies. To course-correct their learning, we need to first undo the ill-suited understanding or strategy and then teach (or reteach) a better approach.
      This can be a big task, and many parents feel apprehension when asked to dissect their child’s learning. But it really is up to us if we want the best for our child’s education. Plus, decoding how your child learns does not have to be overwhelming; on the contrary, it can actually be an insightful and interesting process.
      With 25–30 kids in a class, teachers often do not have the opportunity to catch—and analyze—every mistake made by each child. When we parents sit down to do homework with our kids, we readily catch the mistakes! In her new book, The Strength Switch, How the New Science of Strength-Based Parenting Can Help Your Child and Your Teen To Flourish, Dr. Lea Waters states that parents are hardwired to see a child’s flaws. So if we are programmed to quibble, let’s at least use this tendency to our advantage!
      By no means am I suggesting that we nitpick our children over their schoolwork. Rather, we should take notes on what types of mistakes our children make, then request a meeting at the school to discuss what would help our struggling learner. Armed with specific information as to our child’s struggles, we are much more likely to get our school to intervene quickly and use the most effective methods for our child’s precise area of difficulty.
      Like my parents, we moved into an area because of the quality of the local school. Underlying our decision on where to live was the assumption that if we lined up a quality school for our child, his education would be on auto-pilot. But many of us find out the hard way that our involvement is crucial, and that no one can help our child like we can. 
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    • What do you do when another kid hits your kid on the playground? Here are some tips.
      It was Father’s Day morning, so I took our 13-month-old to the park for a little father-son bonding. It was early, so I was surprised to see a few families already camped out near our favorite pieces of equipment. What I wasn’t surprised to see was one mom with a phone pressed against her ear and paying little to no attention to her young son. If you’ve read my blog, you know one of my pet peeves is parents focusing on their phones instead of their children, so the sight of this woman on her cell while this young boy kept asking if he could play with us really annoyed me. I felt bad for this little boy—who doesn’t want attention?—but I just wanted a little uninterrupted father-son time on Father’s Day.
      Well, that didn’t quite happen.
      Using a stick he picked up off the ground, my son was doing his best drum solo effort on this small rope swing when the little boy came over. Again. He took the stick from my son and after fiddling with it for a second, he turned it toward my son and hit him in the middle of his chest. Thankfully my son wasn’t hurt, although he had that why-did-you-just-do-that look on his face. Clearly, this other boy had no malicious intent, but if I (a first-time dad) see someone do something that could possibly injure my son, and especially if this person should have been supervised closer, the quiet and reserved part of me that most people know will quickly disappear.
      I can’t remember the exact words I used toward this boy after checking to see if my son was okay, but it was to the effect of, “We don’t do that. It’s not nice to hit other people.” The boy’s mom had pried her phone off of her ear long enough to hear me speaking to her son, and the gloves were off. Her defense was that she saw my son throwing wood chips before her 3-year-old hit him with the stick, so therefore my boy wasn’t innocent either.
      My response? I told her that her child was older and should know not to hit people with sticks. Beyond that—and I knew this was my chance to stick it to her—this all could have been avoided if she wasn’t so focused on her phone. “You’re an a&*%$#@,”  she told me as she grabbed her son and left.
      Thankfully I’ve avoided further conflicts with parents since this episode, but I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before my son or someone else’s child will do something in a public place that will put me and another parent in what Catherine Main, Senior Lecturer and Program Coordinator at the University of Illinois at Chicago College of Education, refers to as “incredibly awkward and uncomfortable” situations for parents. 
      Main offers tips that could make these situations a little easier for everyone: 
      Keep your cool. “The key to the situation is for everyone to keep level heads,” Main said. “A 3-year-old does poke others with sticks. It doesn’t mean they’re bad children. It also doesn’t mean their parents are bad people. It’s part of their developmental process. What happens if I poke this little guy with a stick?  … There’s no malice involved. They’re just experimenting. The frustrating part is probably that this parent is on the phone and not guiding her son’s exploration and experimentation.”
      Safety first. “As a general rule, I think parents should be very cautious about (disciplining other children),” said Main, who has a 22-year-old son and an 18-year-old daughter. "But always err on the side to make sure everyone is safe. You could have just picked your son up and moved him away from the situation that wasn’t safe. That would have been modeling for the other child.”
      Support other parents. “It’s really important that parents have a lot of empathy for one another—and try to be supportive of one another,” Main said. "This is not easy. There are not right and right wrong ways all the time. You also have to be able to forgive yourself, because you’re going to make a lot of mistakes. And that’s okay. Your kids will forgive you.”
      Walk the walk. Main added: “The key thing is always keeping in mind I want my child to realize that 1) I am a safe adult and always will be that safe adult and consistent and calm, and 2) remember, they’re watching you and that’s really where they learn. You can think you’re telling them something, but they learn from watching you.”
      It seems like both me and the mom I got into the confrontation with on Father’s Day have some room for improvement. Make no mistake, there will be plenty of opportunity for that.
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    • Explore the South Side Chicago neighborhood Bronzeville with your kids using this family-friendly guide.
      Hello, neighborhood explorers! Last time, I left you with a template to use each time you go visit a new neighborhood: Try to plan three things: one inside, one outside and one that involves food.
      Today, I’m excited to tell you about a neighborhood I love to visit: Bronzeville!
      Located along the lake just south of the Loop, Bronzeville is a cultural mega-center for art, music, architecture, and a vivid celebration of the significant contributions of African Americans to Chicago’s history and present. So many legends have walked along Dr. Martin Luther King Drive, from Ida B. Wells-Barnett to Louis Armstrong, to the man himself for whom the street was named. Check out the cast bronze memorials set in the sidewalk showcasing more than 90 heroes along the “Walk of Fame.” Your kids will love hunting for the next one and reading the names engraved there!
      Inside
      Recently I (literally) stumbled upon a true gem in Bronzeville: The South Side Community Art Center. Begun as a gallery to house the work of African American artists, the center is housed in an historic greystone at 3831 S Michigan that was dedicated by First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt in 1941. If the pristinely maintained walls inside could talk, they would whisper of piano concerts by Gwendolyn Brooks, writing groups led by Langston Hughes, and of the vision of the center’s founder, Dr. Margaret Burroughs, who also founded the DuSable Museum of African American History in Hyde Park.
      The space and the work it contains are unique and inspiring. During our visit, the many portraits of President Obama in the first floor’s rotating exhibit fascinated my children.
      You can visit the gallery during its open hours for a suggested donation or check out Bronzeville this summer on one of the Summer Nights trolley tours! The next one is right around the corner on July 21.
      Outside
      Ask anyone who has lived in Bronzeville over the last 88 years what they do on the second Saturday in August and they will tell you one thing: the Bud Billiken Parade! It’s the second-largest parade in the whole country and it kicks off the back-to-school season in style.
      This year’s celebration won’t disappoint: Chance the Rapper will be the grand marshal! Check it out on Aug. 12.
      Food
      There are plenty of fantastic restaurants and bakeries in Bronzeville, many of them long-time staples of the neighborhood. A personal favorite is Pearl’s Place, located at 3901 S. Michigan. Since it’s just down the block from the South Side Community Art Center, this is an easy itinerary maker, especially since both are also close to the Indiana Green Line el stop.
      Pearl’s Place bills itself as a “white-tablecloth restaurant serving Southern/soul food classics such as fried chicken & catfish.” I lived in the South for 27 years, and this place does not disappoint! My kids love the corn bread that comes out hot before your meal, and I love the atmosphere and the prices.
      Keep exploring Chicago neighborhoods this summer—you’ll never run out of fun things to do!  
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    • Summer is a great time to expose your child to a foreign language. Here are 6 fun ways to do it in Chicago.
      Worried your child might be losing her immersion language skills over the summer? Are you teaching your family language and eager to find new ways to connect your child to your family language? Parents of children learning other languages, whether through school, nannies or family, will find these ideas helpful to give their kids critical language exposure and support their development this summer.
      Get books! You can find bilingual books and books in world languages at your local Chicago Public Library, on Amazon, or through publishing houses like Tulika Books, Penguin Random House and many others listed on the Colorín Colorado website. Challenge your child to make these books part of a summer reading challenge.
      Do the weekly word challenge. Have your child pick a word in the target language, maybe an animal you saw at the zoo or a word in a book. Do a themed craft project around it (toilet paper roll zoo animals, anyone?), write it in fun ways for practice, or illustrate or write a story around it!
      Download apps and learning games. Games and apps pique the interest of kids and can provide rich learning opportunities in moderation. Traditional language learning apps like Duolingo and Mindsnacks provide fun, gamified experiences for older children. Young children are likely to be intrigued by alphabet games and language-rich YouTube videos. User tip: Extend the learning in the app by asking kids to use what they learned in real life (to write and illustrate a story, to act out a play, to teach a sibling) and pause at moments in videos that grab your child’s interest to make passive learning interactive.
      Visit language-rich places. There’s no better way to make the language come alive than to go to a place where it’s spoken. That could mean taking a trip to Taiwan or San Juan, but it could also be a weekend afternoon out eating, shopping, and experiencing places like Chinatown, Devon Avenue or Pilsen.
      Sign them up for events and camps. If you are crunched for time but want kids to have an intensive experience, check in with cultural and religious organizations for camps, Chicago Public Library for bilingual offerings or look into options like Concordia Language Villages or STARTALK programs.
      Join us at Foreign Language 411! Come to NPN’s upcoming event on Tuesday, July 25 from 6–7:30pm at GEMS World Academy to learn more about bilingualism and best practices for teaching language to your child. You’ll get info and tips, as well as the chance to socialize with other parents, equipping you with fresh ideas for extending learning this summer and beyond.
      Happy language learning!
      Jennifer Decker is a former teacher turned entrepreneur at FamLing Design developing products that multilingual families can use to make family language teaching easier and fun. She speaks five languages and is a kid-declared pro at gamifying homework time. She has an M.S.Ed from the University of Pennsylvania and has worked in education in Germany, the U.S. and India.
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    • Great activity ideas for special-needs kids, or any kind of kind, this summer in Chicago.
      I have an 8 ½-year-old little girl, Lia (pictured, above), who has been diagnosed with severe intellectual disabilities, sensory processing disorder, autism and hypotonia, and is non-verbal. I do not, nor will I ever, claim to be the resident expert in any given field except when it comes to knowing my own kiddo. With that said, I know how frustrated and bored my little darling is going to be this first week of summer vacation. My husband and I had to figure out how to keep her busy, entertained and regulated for 76 days! Yikes!
      Lia attends a Chicago Public School. Unfortunately, she, along with many other children with developmental differences, does not qualify for ESY (Extended School Year, a.k.a. summer school). To add insult to injury, we were too late to get her signed up for any affordable summer camps. We promised ourselves we will be more on our game next year! 
      Our first thought was OMG we are NEVER, EVER going to survive this summer. She is already showing signs of dysregulation and frustration. Because we are not direct descendants of the Rockefellers, we had to begin researching and planning. Alas, there is some hope, not for all 76 days but we may just survive this summer yet!
      My husband and I have decided to sign her up for as many activities as possible that are not only affordable but that would be accepting of kiddos like Lia. We started building a list of feasible activities. We concentrated on free activities because let’s face it, why pay a lot of money for something if there is a possibility your child will have a difficult time and not stay for the activity? We also included anything we would need to pay for but felt was well worth the money. Here's our list. What's on yours?
      Free summer activities:
      The beach - We’ve been going to Foster Beach for years but recently started exploring others like Loyola Park and 31st Street Beach. Chicago Park District pools - We visit many free pools and sprinkler parks in the area. We especially like River Park pool because when the staff is on a safety check break, we play in the attached sprinkler pad while waiting for the pool to re-open. This is key! We also like Chase Park, Hamlin Park and Gompers Park. Chicago parks - Maggie Daley is our favorite! There are also a number of accessible parks for kiddos with physical challenges. Kids Bowl Free - Register on this site and your kids can bowl two free games every day throughout the summer at Waveland Bowl or Lawn Lanes. Great for those not-so-great weather days! Kohl Children's Museum (Everyone at Play) - On select Sundays, the museum is open early (and is free!) for families with children with special needs. Free museum days – Most Chicago museums offer free days, even in the summer. Lia loves the Museum of Science and Industry the most! KEEN - Kids Enjoy Excercise Now - This non-profit provides free sports and recreation programs for young people with disabilities. In July, all KEEN families are invited to Wisconsin for a free, fun-filled day of water-skiing, swimming and more! Worthwhile memberships and programs:
      The Morton Arboretum - The garden has a great kids' area with some membership-included fun events throughout the year. The membership is reciprocal and offers admission into other garden venues around Chicagoland. Whealan Pool – This Forest Preserve pool only costs $7 for adults and $5 for kids (3 and under are free). A membership includes three different Forest Preserve pools. Brookfield Zoo – The special exhibit "Dinos and Dragons" features animatronic dinosaurs and live reptiles—even a komodo dragon. You can also see the new wolf pups. So darn cute! M*NSAR (Maine-Niles Association of Special Recreation) – M*NSAR has many wonderful programs for our kids. We are taking swimming once a week throughout the summer. AMC theaters – This movie theater chain offers sensory-friendly films (lights are up, sound is down, kids can run around and play in the aisles) on the second and fourth Saturdays of the month. Finally, we will fill in the gap with extra therapies, potty training class, playgroups, special needs carnivals, festivals, holidays and birthdays. Our calendar is filling up quickly but we are still not there. That’s ok—we are allowed some down time. I hope this helps you fill in some free time this summer. Now go enjoy your wonderfully special kids!
       
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    • Chicago families can get some nice tax breaks if they know what's available to them. Check out how you can save with a child tax credit, dependent exemptions and more.
      While it may feel like children require an outpouring of funds, here are several child-related tax breaks that may allow you to save some on your taxes. 
       
      1. Dependent exemption: You are entitled to a personal exemption for each person claimed on your return. For 2017 this means you reduce your taxable income by $4,050 per exemption on your federal return and $2,175 per exemption on your Illinois return. The savings are these amounts times your tax rates. Note that the exemption phases out for higher-income taxpayers on the federal return. For married taxpayers, the phase out starts at $313,800 and is completely phased out at $436,300.
       
      2. The child tax credit: You may be able to reduce your federal income tax by up to $1,000 for each qualifying child under the age of 17. A qualifying child for this credit is someone who meets the qualifying criteria of six tests: age, relationship, support, dependent, citizenship and residence.  
       
      The credit is gradually reduced as a taxpayer's income increases. The phase out begins at the following thresholds and is reduced by $50 for each $1,000 of income over the threshold.
      $55,000 for married couples filing separately $75,000 for single, head of household and qualifying widow(er) filers $110,000 for married couples filing jointly  
      3. The child and dependent care credit: If all parents on the return have earned income you can claim a 20–35% credit (based on income) on up to $3,000 of expenses paid for one qualifying person, or up to $6,000 of expenses paid for two or more qualifying persons. Qualifying persons are children under 13. Qualified expenses include day care, nannies, preschool, day camp and aftercare. The name, address and social security number or EIN of the provider are required to claim this credit.
       
      4. The Illinois education credit: You can claim a credit for 25% of your K-12 student’s qualified expenses in excess of $250 up to a maximum of $500 per return. Qualified expenses include tuition, book fees and lab fees paid directly to the school.
       
      5. The IL tax deduction for 529 contributions: Illinois allows a deduction of up to $20,000 for married taxpayers ($10,000 for single taxpayers) contributions to Illinois 529 plans (BrightStart, Bright Directions or Illinois College!). You will save 3.75% (the Illinois tax rate) on whatever you contribute.
       
      As each taxpayer’s situation is unique, please consult with your tax advisor to determine which of these savings opportunities you can utilize.
       
      Lisa Niser is a Chicago mom who has been helping families with their taxes and financial planning for over 20 years. She helps many NPN members with their nanny tax needs as well. Visit www.lisaniser.com to learn more about her practice.
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    • Try these easy ways to stay in shape with your child, from playground exercises to stroller-friendly runs.
      Last March I attended (not by choice) the Expectant Fathers class at Prentice Hospital. During these 2 ½ hours, 15–20 fathers-to-be sat around two long tables and listened as the presenter, a pediatrician and father of two, delivered the non-edited version of how life was about to change. It was funny at times. Scary at others. Eye-opening for sure.
      During one part of the session, we were presented with this question: “What are you most afraid of about becoming a father?” I could have scripted some of the responses:
      “I don’t know if I’m going to have enough money to support a child.”
      “I’m worried I won’t see my friends as much.”
      “I’ve never changed a diaper.”
      “I’m scared I won’t get enough sleep.”
      But then one of the soon-to-be dads across the table offered this:
      “I’m afraid I won’t be able to go to the gym as much.”
      I can’t remember if anyone laughed out loud, but I know I chuckled to myself. With all the other significant life changes that were about to smack each one of us in the face, pumping iron and getting a good sweat were at the top of his mind? Don’t get me wrong, I understand the importance of being active—I was once a personal trainer and I’ve spent thousands of hours in gyms over the last 20 years—but I thought that I’d be just fine if my activity level dipped a little bit once baby arrived.
      Yet now a little more than a year into fatherhood, and understanding how woefully unprepared I am for my first marathon six months from now, I realize how wrong I was. Even if you don't have the time to get to the gym or go for a run as often as you'd like, it's crucial to stay moving and take care of your physical health as this can improve your mood, your quality of sleep, your energy level, and your ability to keep up with your increasingly mobile little one(s).
      For you parents who have lost some/most/all the “me-time” you once enjoyed, here are some ways to stay active (or get moving again), while keeping the kids involved:
      Park the stroller. Carrying your child obviously won’t work in all situations (your child doesn’t want to be picked up, you can no longer lift your child, you can lift your child but you’re just too damn tired and need a break). But if you want to give your arms, legs and back a nice workout, try leaving the stroller in the closet or trunk of your car when you’re out and about.
      Sign up for a class that gets you and your child moving. Try parent-child swimming, mommy/baby yoga, stroller fitness programs, etc. Enjoy the physical benefits and the bonding experience.
      Look for stroller-friendly races. These races can be difficult to find–and tough on kids if they’re strapped in for too long or if it’s not an ideal temperature—but they’re out there if you look. My wife and I saw a handful of children getting pushed in strollers when we completed the United Run for the Zoo 10K at Lincoln Park Zoo earlier this month.
      Turn off the TV. When your child isn’t planted in front of the television, he or she likely will be moving around. That means you probably will be, too.
      Go to the playground. The Chicago Park District lists 518 facilities around the city, so there is no shortage of playground options where you can push your child in a swing (work those arms, shoulders and back), play tag with your little one (there’s your cardio) and climb the steps (leg day) to the top of the slide.
      Find gyms with childcare services. As fun as it can be to connect with your little one while getting some exercise, sometimes you just need an hour alone at the gym without being attached to a stroller or baby carrier. In those cases, if you can’t line up a babysitter, there are gyms around the city with onsite childcare services. This will allow your little one to play in a supervised environment while you get in a much-needed workout. Do your research first to learn about these locations’ hours of operation and fees. You also want to find out the staff’s qualifications and how they deal with dirty diapers and toddler meltdowns.
      Read more...
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