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    • Four tips to reduce stress when moms are at their wit's end.
      Mom, have you ever had the feeling that you are running on fumes? Has your tank ever felt empty already when you were waking up in the morning? Have you gone to bed with your mind racing with all the things you need to get done the next day only to be in a twilight sleep the entire night and wake up as tired as you were when you first went to bed?
      If you are like most moms, you have probably felt like this on more than one occasion. If you are a normal mom, you have probably felt like this at least once a week. I know I have. There are many moments when I want to yell, "Mom down!". In those moments of despair, I am secretly wishing for someone to come to my rescue and say, "Nicole, I got this ... Go relax." 
      Many times when I am stressed, tired, overwhelmed or all of the above, I am guilty of leaving a trail of mommy meltdown destruction. I am more susceptible to being short with my kids or even my husband. My tolerance for normal kid behavior becomes nonexistent. It's not even who I am.
      I want to be a compassionate, loving wife and mom but in those instances where I have reached the point of no return, I realize that it is time for me to rest and recharge. I have recognized more than ever that for my sanity, health and happiness—and my families'—I cannot ever let my cup get that empty where they get the brunt of Mommy being stressed. It's not fair to them or me to create a stressful environment in our home because Mommy is in a bad mood.
      Here's a plan to help save us and our families from cranky mommy:
      Ask for quiet time 
      When my sister and I were teenagers, my mom would ask for 15 minutes of quiet time as soon as we got In from school. She would go upstairs to her room close the door. We didn't know what she did for those 15 minutes but she came back downstairs ready to conquer her second job as Mommy. At first read, your initial reaction may be that you don't have time to take 15 minutes and risk throwing off the evening routine. I would argue that taking that moment to take off the day is worth the sacrifice. 
      Create a bedtime routine 
      As important as bedtime routines are for our children, they should also be mandatory for mommies too! Not only do we need to get as much sleep as possible to recharge our batteries, but we also need to quiet our brains to make sure the sleep is quality. I am inconsistently consistent with my bedtime routine but on a good night, it is comprised of a hot cup of sleepytime tea and a long, hot shower. Every time I am intentional about doing it I often ask myself why I don't do it more often. 
      Ask for help 
      I am a pretty prideful wife and mom and it takes a lot out of me to ask for help. Ironically, the days that I hit a wall are the days I should have raised a white flag much earlier. It's ok to ask a girlfriend to watch the kids for an hour. It's ok to ask your significant other to fold the clothes in the dryer. 
       
      Take a mommy break
      The fastest way to refill your cup is to take a mommy break. You owe it to yourself to take a moment to recharge and reboot. It may be a simple as a manicure and Target run or as elaborate as a full weekend off of mommy duty. Find the one thing that brings you a moment of joy and go after it at least once a month (ideally once a week). It does not cure all the woes of mommyhood but it definitely makes it more manageable!
      Enact these four ideas to avoid your family ever experiencing the wrath of a mommy who is running on "e" and not taking the time to take care of herself. Let's continue to be the fabulous, perfectly imperfect moms that we are and not let stress get too much in the way. 
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    • How to apply for Chicago Early Learning preschool options in Chicago Public Schools.
      As you are researching preschools for your little one and weighing your options, did you know that Chicago Public Schools offers many part-time and full-day, school-based and affordable preschool programs at select CPS schools across the city? Perhaps more importantly, if you thought you missed the preschool application boat for next fall, it’s not too late to apply for a seat in this program for the 2022-2023 school year.
      It’s called Chicago Early Learning (CEL), formerly known as “Ready To Learn” or “Preschool for All.” The application window typically opens in April, and will stay open until seats are filled. Unlike CPS’s full-time, tuition-based pre-K (TBPK), which requires you to apply directly with each school for admission, the CEL program’s application process is centralized with application sites located throughout the city and tuition is based on a sliding scale. You can apply online at www.chicagoearlylearning.org and find out quickly if you have a spot or will be put on a waitlist.
      Here are a few more details about Chicago Early Learning:
      Programs are either half-day (2.5 – 3 hours) with morning and/or afternoon sessions available at each school, or full-day (7 hours, which CPS has been increasingly adding) options, so be sure to filter your search. (Universal PreK for 4-year-olds is gradually being implemented.) Programs offer a well-rounded and evidenced-based curriculum with assessments to ensure students are on track for kindergarten.   Tuition is on a sliding scale based on household income. Families can search for and review sites with the Find & Compare online tool, which can filter by hours, duration and program feature. Out of 600 school and community-based programs, each child may apply up to 2 sites but can only be accepted to one. Separate applications for each child can be made under a family’s account, but CPS cannot guarantee that siblings will be placed together. Chicago Early Learning does not include private schools, magnet, Montessori or tuition-based schools.   Priority is given to 4-year-olds for CPS based programs, while 3-year-olds will have community-based program sites to choose from. How to apply: All Chicago residents, regardless of income, are welcome to apply for a seat to any CEL program location. Families can apply online, in person at one of several Family Resource Centers, or by phone at 312-229-1690. When applying online, there are 3 steps: 1) create an account, 2) fill in family employment and income info, child’s info and rank up to 2 program choices, and 3) if selected, you will be instructed how to verify your child’s spot.
      Verification requirements for CEL include: Proof of child’s age (children must be 3 or 4 years old and potty trained by September 1 of the entry school year), proof of residency, and proof of current income of parent(s) or guardian(s) of child. The City of Chicago prioritizes eligibility for these programs based on factors such as age, income, and child or family history.
      Starting in June, families may be notified immediately if they are placed in a program or if they will be put on a waitlist. If a family is offered a spot to their top-ranked school, they will not be placed on a waitlist for their second-ranked school. Families have up to 2 weeks to “verify” placement by visiting a Family Resource Center. After verification, the final step is to enroll your child at the preschool site. 
      Many parents across the city find the Chicago Early Learning preschool program not only affordable and convenient, but also a great way to transition children into a preschool curriculum with the flexibility of a shorter school day, if available, or full-day options nearby. With many CEL programs housed in neighborhood and/or magnet schools, they're also a good way to help you determine whether a particular CPS school (or public school, in general) is a good fit for your child and your family. These programs do not guarantee admission to the participating school’s elementary program, however, unless that school is your assigned neighborhood school.
      Visit www.chicagoearlylearning.org for more information about the program and to access a complete list of program locations and application sites. Helpful FAQs can be found here.
       
      Updated winter 2022
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    • A pediatrician with the Chicago Department of Public Health on the current measles outbreak and how you can protect your family.
      My 4-year-old and I had a date with our pediatrician yesterday. Though kids can get their second MMR vaccine any time between 4 and 6 years old, he received his second MMR vaccine exactly a week after his 4th birthday. After the visit, we got cinnamon rolls (and a large coffee for me) and I told him how proud and excited I was that he was protected against measles and a bunch of other nasty diseases much better now. 
      It sounds pretty cheesy, but I said this out loud to him and I woke up this morning breathing a sigh of relief. As many of you have heard, there have been multiple outbreaks of measles in the U.S. so far this year and we are up to 662 cases in 22 states as of April 19, 2019. We are on pace to exceed the 2014 record for highest number of cases since measles “elimination” in 2000. Illinois has had some of these cases. I know this not only because I am a pediatrician and infectious disease specialist, but also because I do disease surveillance for measles and other vaccine-preventable diseases at the Chicago Department of Public Health. 
      Measles keeps me up at night, when my two kids are not waking up with wet beds or nightmares. Many children are suffering in our country and will continue to suffer if these outbreaks spread. Even after recovery from measles, children are more likely to get bacterial infections for a certain period of time and there is a rare complication of delayed swelling of the brain lining (encephalitis) that can occur ten years or more after infection. Measles spreads through the air when an infected person coughs or sneezes and it’s so contagious that if one person has it, up to 9 of 10 people around them will also become infected if they are not protected. Measles starts with a fever that can get very high, cough, runny nose, red eyes, and a rash of tiny, red spots that start at the head and spread to the rest of the body. The virus can cause serious health complications, such as pneumonia or encephalitis, and even death.  
      Though all this sounds scary, we should feel good that most parents in Chicago and Illinois vaccinate their families. We all need to do our part to protect children under the age of 12 months or those with weakened immune systems who may not be able to receive the vaccine. They could be your neighbor, classmate or friend and you may not even know it. Travelers returning to Chicago from areas both internationally and within the United States experiencing ongoing measles outbreaks may pose a risk of spread of the illness within the city. The majority of measles cases in the U.S. currently are in New York City and New York state, which are primarily among unvaccinated people in Orthodox Jewish communities and associated with travelers who brought measles back from Israel. With the current Passover holiday that ends the evening of Saturday, April 27, there may be more opportunities for measles to spread. 
      The best way to protect against measles is to get the measles-mumps-rubella (MMR) vaccine on time. We recommend that most children get the first dose of the MMR vaccine at the age of 12 months and a second dose after the 4th birthday. If you are not sure if they have had the vaccine or if they had a prior measles infection, talk to your doctor.  
      If you travel internationally, anyone in your family older than 6 months should receive the MMR vaccine. Talk with your health care provider about protecting your baby at least 4 weeks prior to departure. A lot of my friends and colleagues ask me if they should bring their newborns and infants on planes to some of these U.S. locations with measles outbreaks. In general, infants who are too young to be vaccinated should avoid contact with sick people or situations where they may be exposed to sick people. Adults who are traveling internationally may need one or two doses of MMR vaccine depending on their vaccination history.
      Check out the following links for more information:
      Learn more about measles and prevention: https://www.cdc.gov/features/measles/
      Measles fact sheet: https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/parents/diseases/child/measles-basics-color.pdf
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    • Parenting in Chicago can be a challenge, but it's a worthwhile one.
      Parenting in Chicago is hard. Two recent events reminded me of this.
      The first, running our two daughters out to the car parked in front of our house in what seemed like biblical rains — no attached garage to keep us dry. And the second, wading into the Chicago Public Schools application process. After reading about three different ways to apply to preschool, I realized this was the first step in a nebulous 18-year-plus journey.
      These are surface examples of a subtler thought that has gnawed at me for the last couple of years: This is not how I grew up.
      In many ways, my childhood was idyllic. I grew up in a nice suburb and have fond memories of it. That’s why I always planned to raise my children in one. If the suburbs worked for me, why wouldn’t I raise a family in the same way?
      Marrying a Chicago native changed things. And while we’re committed to living in the city, a review of the news headlines on any given day makes Chicago seem like the least family-friendly place to be.
      I’m slowly, sometimes reluctantly, learning the city is a great place for a family. What I know now is that the childhood my two daughters experience is not going to be the one that I had — and that’s okay. In fact, I’m glad. Here's why:
      Empowerment
      My daughters will not be intimidated by the “big city” things that scared me. They will know how to get from point A to point B and all the way to Z. And they’ll do it by understanding the CTA routes and schedules. This ability will open up the city to them and make so many experiences instantly accessible: visiting other neighborhoods, biking by the lake, enjoying countless festivals and museums, and soaking in the world-class culture Chicago offers.
      Diversity
      The diversity of cultures, learning and day-to-day experiences my children will encounter will provide a perspective — and, I hope, understanding — that’s hard to come by in the suburbs. From trying elotes at the park to neighbors who speak a different language, their close proximity to others different from them raises an opportunity to know people and their cultures better.
      Social justice
      My girls will have a chance to see and respond to the challenges of the city. They can be part of making Chicago not just the place where they live, but the community where they thrive. For us right now it looks messy. We cart our girls to homeless shelters and imperfectly prepare meals for guests once or twice a month. But our hope is that one day they’ll lead us to the problems they seek to fix in our city and commit to serving our community.
      Chicago reminds me on an almost-daily basis that the things that are worthwhile are often challenging. Raising a family in Chicago is a worthwhile challenge, and one that will leave me thankful that my daughters experience a different childhood than my own.
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    • Tips on hiring a good kids birthday party entertainer from a Chicago party expert.
      You’ve been there: the “best party ever.” There are games, music, characters, and an entertainer taking pictures and playing with your children. But now, it’s your turn to plan the birthday party for your child and you want the same or better experience. Before you jump to hire the first company you find in your Facebook’s mommy group, it’s important to consider who — and what — you’re dealing with. As the president of a kids’ entertainment company, I can shed some light on the subject.
      Are you calling a legit/legal company?
      There are tons of people advertising themselves as “entertainment companies for children,” and most of them are not legit companies. You’ll recognize them because they want you to pay in cash, they don’t have a website, or their social media pages are poorly done or non-existent. Check the small print: Real companies should have an LLC or Inc. after their name.
      Who works for this company?
      You wouldn’t invite a stranger into your home, right? Make sure you ask: Are background checks and drug tests regularly required of employees? Many companies (especially the ones that aren’t legal) send whoever is available to work, and many times they don’t even know the performer. I once heard a mom saying that the person she hired came intoxicated and the kids could smell the alcohol.
      Is the company insured?
      Did you know that even face painters should carry insurance? Always ask. Why is insurance so important? Let’s say the kids are having a lot of fun and while dancing, someone bumps into a speaker and it falls and injures a child. I’m sure you don’t want to deal with a lawsuit. Insurance means the company is liable, so you’re not.
      Is the show age-appropriate for your child and guests?
      We’ve all seen those characters twerking on Facebook. Ask what kind of music the entertainer plans to use during the show. You can even ask about the type of games they will be playing.
      Have you checked the reviews?
      It’s common sense: Before hiring a company, shop around. If you see a company with a high number of likes on Facebook and tons of great reviews, go for it! Read the reviews, privately contact the company, and ask questions. Usually, companies with a low number of likes and no reviews are a red flag.
      Yes, parties are hard to plan. But the smile of your child that says, “This was the best party ever!” is worth the effort of asking a few questions and doing your research.
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    • Did you apply for seats for your child at Open Enrollment, Magnet, Magnet Cluster and Selective Enrollment Chicago Public Schools? Here's what to expect.
      As with all things pandemic, it’s been quite the year for Chicago parents who have applied for Chicago Public School (CPS) seats at Open Enrollment, Magnet, Magnet Cluster and Selective Enrollment Elementary Schools for the 2021-2022 school year. CPS has announced that first round notifications for three magnet preschools (Suder, Drummond and Inter-American) and all lottery-based and selective enrollment elementary (K-8th grade) results will be released after 5pm on Friday, May 28, 2021. This is over a month after the results are typically released, prolonging an already unusual application year. An email and a robocall will be sent to the contact information in the student’s online application file with directions on how to access the online notifications and how to accept an offer, if applicable. Let the nail-biting begin!
      Are you a first-time CPS applicant, or just curious about the process? Here’s a quick run-down on what to expect from your notification(s):
      Magnet, magnet cluster and open enrollment lottery applicants: Once results are available, online applicants at GoCPS will see a “View Application Status” button next to each student’s name on the Student Dashboard. The results screen will list all of the schools you applied for and next to each school’s name, an indication of whether your child was offered a seat or waitlisted. If waitlisted, there will be a number indicating your child’s waitlist number. It is possible to receive offers from more than one lottery school, and it's also possible to be waitlisted at every school. If your child is on a waitlist that is not the general waitlist, this will be indicated as well (e.g., sibling, proximity, tier). You can also click on “View & Print Notification Letter” to see the traditional CPS letter showing the same information. Note: proximity and tier waitlists are only for the Entry Year of CPS Magnet programs (typically K only).
      Selective enrollment elementary school (SEES) applicants: All SEES applicants who have completed the testing requirement for the program(s) they have applied to (Classical and/or Regional Gifted Center) will receive either ONE offer or no offers. No multiple offers are given to SEES applicants applying to early elementary grades. Thus, the GoCPS portal will include your child’s test score(s) and which, if any, SEES program to which your child has been offered a seat. It will also indicate if your child has not been offered a seat yet and additional information regarding subsequent acceptance rounds. You can click “View & Print Notification Letter” to see the traditional CPS letter showing the same information. Waitlist numbers are not given for SEES applicants as open seats are filled based on test scores. Tier information is only shown for the Entry Year of a SEES program.
      For all programs, your GoCPS portal will indicate a deadline by which you must accept or decline your child’s seat at any of the offered schools. As of this writing, CPS has yet to release the deadline to accept a first-round offer, but in the past, families were given about two weeks to make their initial decision. The waitlist process then opens a few days after the first-round acceptance deadline. You should use this time period to virtually visit or re-visit those schools to help make or confirm your school choice. Schools should post virtual info session dates for accepted students and parents on the event calendar at the CPS website, go.cps.edu, or check each individual’s school website for more details.
      For lottery-based (non-selective enrollment) schools, acceptance at one school does not remove your child’s name from the acceptance and/or waitlists at any of the other lottery-based schools. In other words, you may accept an offer you received and if you later receive an offer from a school where your child was waitlisted, you may accept that offer instead and notify the previous school of the decision to withdraw.
      For those accepted to a SEES program, accepting your child’s seat at that program will remove your child’s name from the applicant list at all other SEES programs ranked on his/her application. If you decline an offered seat, your child’s name will remain on the applicant list(s) for all other schools ranked on their application. Accepting or declining a seat in a SEES program has no bearing on your child’s separate non-selective lottery application, if applicable. 
      Bear in mind that after this initial notification period, waitlists will continue to move and offers will be given via phone and/or GoCPS (not mail) through the spring and into summer (and sometimes fall). It’s also important to note that when parents of waitlisted students are contacted, they are given only 48 hours (or as little as 2 hours in late summer) to accept or decline a seat. A second-round application process (formerly known as End-of-Year Citywide Options Program) will also be available (no dates released yet) to fill any open seats at magnet, magnet cluster and open enrollment schools. Please note that selective enrollment schools are NOT typically part of this “remaining seat” process with the exception of new programs or attrition years.
      Updated Spring 2021
      Want more info? Visit go.cps.edu to learn more about CPS acceptance and notification and follow the CPS conversations on the NPN Discussion Forum. Plus, check out School Resources Map to help you make your final school decision. New to CPS applications? NPN members can watch a 4-part video on everything you need to know about CPS.
      Grace Lee Sawin is a co-founder of Chicago School GPS (ChiSchoolGPS.com). Chicago School GPS helps Chicago families navigate the often confusing world of public and private school searches, from preschool to high school, so that they can arrive at their school destination, no matter when they begin their journey.
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    • Work with your future kindergarten age child on approaches to learning and self-regulation, language and literacy, math, and social and emotional development.
      Is your child starting kindergarten next year? Consider taking a proactive approach to ensuring he or she is ready to arrive at kindergarten and learn.
      Evidence increasingly suggests that the areas most critical to young children’s long-term educational success are approaches to learning and self-regulation, language and literacy, math, and social and emotional development. While early childhood education is instrumental in supporting a child’s learning and development, family engagement may even be paramount. In 2017, the Illinois State Board of Education (ISBE) released the Kindergarten Individual Development Survey (KIDS) which is a new tool that teachers in Illinois are required to use to observe and document students’ “kindergarten readiness” based on these areas of development.
      Following are suggested activities and examples for how families can support their children in becoming ready-to-learn.
      [Related: Kindergarten readiness is the key to long-term success]
      Approaches to learning and self-regulation
      There is a strong connection between these two areas of development. The approaches to learning skills include engagement and persistence and curiosity and initiative. The self-regulation skills include self-control of feelings and behavior and shared use of space and materials.
      Young children sometimes have a tough time sticking to a task that is hard to do. You can encourage your child to complete tasks by breaking one big task into smaller steps, like suggesting, “Let’s clean up the toys one at a time.” If your child feels overwhelmed by tasks, you can set a timer and suggest, “Let’s clean up the toys in the next five minutes, and then you can go color.” And, tasks may seem easier to the child with teamwork, such as, “Let’s work with your brother or sister to clean up the toys.”
      Young children also are learning how to express their feelings through words and actions. You can help your child learn that feelings have words — happy, sad, jealous and angry. Describe the behavior you want to see: “It’s nice you are petting the dog so gently.” Express your feelings back to your child, for example, “I was frustrated when…” And, help your child learn that everyone has feelings by pointing out others’ expressions such as, “Look at the smile on that little boy’s face.”
      Language and literacy development
      Language and literacy skills are the foundation for learning English and can be demonstrated in any form of communication. Among the best ways to help children develop in this area are to listen, talk more and learn.
      Start out your day by talking through the activities you will do: “First, we’re going to eat breakfast, then we’ll get dressed.” As you read with your children, encourage them to describe what they see and develop new ideas. As you move throughout the day, ask your child, “What do you see?” and help them expand his or her vocabulary by adding descriptions, such as, “This apple is crunchy.”
      [Related: Focus on mistakes to help your child learn]
      Math
      The math learning domain includes knowledge or skills in classification, number sense of quantity, number sense of math operations, measurement, patterning and shapes. Sorting, organizing and classifying objects, ideas, smells and like items are important skills for young children to develop.
      Ask your child to help you unload the silverware from the dishwasher and sort the knives, forks and spoon in the right place. Use egg cartons to create an activity where children can sort like objects like coins, crayons or sticks. Or, ask them to help you cook and sort food by fruits and vegetables or colors.
      You can also help your child make sense of numbers and discover how they can be added, subtracted, multiplied and divided by bringing numbers into conversation. For example, ask your child to count how many crackers or grapes they start with. After eating some, count again. You can talk about how many animals you see, such as “three birds” that have “six wings.” And, you can ask your child to help you set up an activity for a playdate with siblings or friends and create equal amounts of materials for each person participating.
      Social and emotional development
      Social and emotional development includes a child’s abilities to understand and interact with others and to form positive relationships with nurturing adults and their peers. At an early age, it is important for children to make friends, to work and play with other children who have different ideas and experiences, and to simply get along.
      You can support your child in working and playing well with other by setting a good example — most notably, by treating others kindly and with respect. Encourage your child to play with others and foster engagement with kids by pretending, building or talking together. Teach your children about the importance of sharing and positively reinforce them by saying, “You did such a great job sharing with your friends today.” And, help your child talk through his or her feelings and how other children may feel different about a situation.
      These are just a few ideas about how to engage with your children in the most important areas of development. You can access more tools and resources at www.isbe.net/kids.
       
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    • A new campaign called Anchor It! aims to educate parents and caregivers about preventing tip-overs in the home
      Furniture and TV tip-over incidents are most likely to be deadly when a child is involved. A child dies every 10 days from a TV or furniture tip-over. In the U.S. there is an estimated annual average of 15,600 injuries that are associated with tip-overs. Most accidents happen when a child climbs on the furniture in order to reach a higher drawer or an object on top. Children ages 2-5 are at a higher risk for these incidents. These facts and figures illuminate the tragic stories of Camden, Conner, Shane, and Ted who have all fallen victim to furniture tip-overs.

      These incidents can be prevented. The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) has created the Anchor It! campaign to educate parents and caregivers about tip-overs. Anchor It! provides instructional videos on how to secure furniture and TVs to avoid tip-overs. In addition, KID provides some recommendations to prevent tip-overs:
      Buy furniture with a wider base, heavier back panel, and/or interlocking drawers, and that meets the ASTM F2057-14 or 17 standard, which is a voluntary standard regarding furniture stability Anchor furniture to the wall Do not put TVs on furniture that is not intended for that use, and anchor TVs to anchored furniture or mount on the wall Keep TV cables and cords out of reach of children Keep objects such as toys and remote controls off furniture to reduce the temptation to climb. Here at KID, we are working to prevent tip-overs with the CPSC and groups such as PAT (Parents Against Tip-Overs). KID started the Teach Early Safety Testing (TEST) program as a way to incorporate design safety into undergraduate engineering programs. Engineering students at the University of Michigan and Northwestern University have worked on projects to develop safer designs for dressers. KID is also fighting for a more robust standard for furniture at the federal level so no parent or child has to suffer from a furniture tip-over.
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    • Chicago's Black History is important for parents to teach their children.
      “Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is getting recognized more and more, I notice.”
      Does that quote sound familiar to you? If you don’t remember those words, they were spoken by our current president two years ago during Black History Month. The clip went viral because Trump used present tense to compliment the famous abolitionist, which suggested that he thought Frederick Douglass was still alive. Unfortunately, for the president, Douglass has been dead for over a century!
      While this mistake was both laughable and depressing, we as a nation do not always know that essential part of U.S. history known as Black History. For too many parents in Chicago, this 28-day celebration of Black contributions to the U.S. is just another month, but with fewer days. Given the profound influence Black people have had on this country, it's quite sad that more of us are not informed about their contributions. More important, “us” includes parents. Our city, Chicago, is filled with Black history, and should be known by every parent that is a proud Chicagoan.
      For example, how many of these Chicago Black History facts did you or your school age child not know?
      • The first non-native permanent settler in Chicago was Jean Baptiste Pointe DuSable, a Haitian man.
      • The DuSable Museum of African American History is the second oldest, independent, nonprofit Black History museum in the country and was co-founded by Dr. Margaret Taylor Burroughs and her husband in 1961.
      • Fifty years ago, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., lived on the West Side during his fair housing fight in North Lawndale.
      • Along with Frederick Douglass, nationally-known activist Ida B. Wells-Barnett (for whom Congress Parkway was recently renamed) organized a boycott against the 1893 World’s Columbian Exposition for its exclusion of Black people.
      • Chicago was one of the main stops for southern blacks during the Great Migration.
      • The name “Bronzeville” was coined around 1930 by a theater editor for the Chicago Bee newspaper, who was inspired by the “bronze” color of African American skin.
      How did you do? How did your child do? Did it spark any curiosity? Good! For families that may not know where to start, check out your local library. Librarians can offer information on African American history events, documentaries and books that fit your child’s level of interest. It’s also an excellent place to explore stories you never knew existed.
      In our current climate of ignorance and hatred, we cannot afford to ignore difference and pretend to be color-blind. Teaching your children about Black history before a misinformed public figure does is important so they learn to value people's differences. We, as parents, have the ultimate influence on how our children view our segregated city, our world, and how they fit into it and relate to other people. Culturally-aware children grow up to be culturally-competent adults who can help bring more equality and justice into the world. Wouldn't it be nice to have more people like that in the future?
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    • If you're grateful for your partner, go beyond saying thank you by showing gratitude with these tips and ideas
      I might pride myself on saying thank you and being thoughtful, but like many of us I probably don't show enough gratitude to the person who does the most for me: my partner. So in the spirit of love and committing to show my appreciation more, I enlisted my husband's input on ideas:
      [Related: 5 tips for bringing back the partner in the partnership]
      Send something to work
      A no-brainer way to show gratitude is to add chocolate or a little something to a work bag. But organizing something to be delivered takes this one step further. While flowers are appreciated there are other items that will seem all the more thoughtful for their uniqueness. What about breakfast or a beautiful notebook?
      Make something
      I'm not talking about having to be a top-notch crafter. Greeting your loved one with a favorite cocktail when they arrive home will be creative enough for many. Alternately, utilizing those magical pens that write on icing can allow you to create an edible thank-you with minimal effort.
      Leave a message
      With very small children, some days even finding a few minutes for a grown-up conversation eludes you. So how about using those odd minutes (waiting for bottles to sterilize or milk to warm) to jot down a note. We recently purchased a whiteboard lightbox to convey cute, positive sentiments.
      Give a gift just because
      I'm always on the look-out for the perfect gift. Of course sometimes, it's ages till a birthday or significant occasion and I'm bursting to share it. So why not? Gifts are often much more appreciated when they're unexpected. What about a "Because it's Friday and we survived the week" present?
      [Related: Chicago date ideas that go beyond dinner and drinks]
      Arrange an A+ date night
      We've all read the well-meaning articles telling us how important it is to arrange regular date nights, but it's also important to ensure they're engaging. With minimal effort, you can find something truly interesting in our wonderful city. We're taking a cocktail and magic class, which should certainly prevent the conversation from turning to kids' schedules.
      Surprise them with a babysitter
      As well as prearranging nights out, my husband mentioned how nice it would be if I just surprised him with a sitter. Picking some time during the day (not at night when your kids are sleeping) and getting out to watch a game or to do some leisurely shopping together can seem quite luxurious.
      Create an at-home date night
      Of course, it's not always possible to find or afford a babysitter. So creating an at-home date night might be more doable. In the past I've put together a Spanish-themed evening, paring tapas, paella and sangria with a travel movie. We could almost believe we were on vacation.
      Allow some alone time
      As well as doing, don't underestimate the power of not doing. Allowing some alone time might be the ultimate way of showing your partner gratitude. In our household, we like to work out. While there are jogging strollers, being able to run along the lakefront on your own is a welcome opportunity to think, listen, or just switch off completely.
      However you choose to show your partner gratitude, it's doing something that matters. The power of thank you goes a long way.
      Read more...
    • Here are some things to consider when trying to decide on a Chicago Public School.
      NWEA. OAE. OMG.
      We just want the best education for our kids, right? There are many ways to define “best” and there are choices — they just require thoughtfulness and planning, sometimes years in advance. Online CPS resources define which options are available for your student. What you won’t find at go.cps.edu are guidelines to help you decide which path is right for your student and family.
      [Related: How to apply to a CPS school in 5 easy steps]
      What’s your family’s tolerance for pressure?
      The stress associated with testing and applications varies with each family and student. For students who test well and organized parents with time to commit to the process, it’s not that hard (full disclosure: our children attended our neighborhood elementary school through 8th grade and then selective enrollment high school a quarter-mile from home). The hurry-up-and-wait pipeline for selective enrollment is long: for example, test* in winter of Grade 3, apply fall of Grade 4, wait by the mailbox for decision letter in the spring to begin fall of Grade 5. Just remember: it’s a choice.
      *Students enrolled in a non-CPS school must register for NWEA MAP testing before they intend to apply as the test scores are used to qualify students for selective enrollment.
      How many school-age children do you have?
      Consider if one school will meet the needs of all your children; coordinating drop-offs and pick-ups at multiple campuses is a challenge. If you have young children, get involved with your neighborhood school before you need it: support the parent organization, attend local school council (LSC) meetings (or run for a community member seat on the council), subscribe to the school’s newsletter, visit the website and school often. Neighborhood schools become great schools when families, communities, teachers and administration work together, and you’ll get the inside view before you need to choose.
      [Related: How to apply to CPS preschools]
      Does your student want to attend college?
      It’s believed more prestigious high schools lead to more prestigious colleges and universities. Truth is, your student can attend various CPS schools and get into college. One student may thrive with a heavy AP or IB workload, while another’s GPA suffers under strain, impacting their credentials. One student may thrive in a program in which they can work hard, earn a great GPA and get a little more sleep or family time, while another loses interest for lack of a challenge. The only right answer is the answer right for your child alone.
      Consider these additional questions and go forth — you have some homework to do. 
      Does your community have resources to support your neighborhood school? Will your child feel safe both inside and outside the school? “Safe” is subjective and includes considerations like enrollment size. What makes your child tick? Schools, even of the same type, can have widely differing programs. What does diversity mean to your family? Some schools are quite homogenous while others attract students from across the city. How much importance do you give to social-emotional learning? Many schools use the words, but some schools really work this into practice. If prestige is one of your considerations, understand why. Getting in isn’t reason alone to attend. It may play a role in your student’s plan, or you may find another school characteristic that has a longer-term impact.
      Read more...
    • Considering a therapeutic preschool for your child? Here are the important things to look for to find the right fit.
      As a parent, you want to ensure that your child receives every opportunity to thrive and reach their full potential. Preschool can play a significant role in achieving these goals. For children who may not fit into a standard preschool setting because of a disorder, diagnosis, or disability, a therapeutic preschool program can be life-changing.
      If your child would benefit from a therapeutic preschool, it is critical that you do your research. In my own experience, I found the following factors incredibly important.
      [Related: How to advocate for your special-needs child in CPS]
      Your goals as a parent
      A therapeutic preschool can provide support by meeting critical developmental milestones in areas such as speech and language, social skills, feeding, expanded gross and fine motor skills, and more. It is important that the program meets the unique goals you have in mind for your child.
      Flexibility of the program
      The more flexible a program is, the more it will meet your child’s needs. Does the program require you to make a year commitment or allow month-to-month? Does it offer both morning and afternoon sessions? Are you able to start at two days a week and increase if it is going well? Rigid rules and policies may not fit your child’s specific needs.
      Well-educated and experienced staff
      Top therapeutic programs tend to employ individuals with a bachelor’s or master’s degree. This additional education will manifest itself in better outcomes for your child.
      A multidisciplinary team
      This means a team of professionals with expertise in speech-language pathology, occupational therapy, feeding therapy, ABA therapy, and more. This diverse team allows children to receive the most well-rounded and comprehensive care and allows a program to treat the whole child.
      Student-to-teacher ratio
      A program with a low student-to-teacher ratio can provide more personalized care. A standard preschool program may have 8 to 10 children for just one teacher, while a good therapeutic program may have just 3 or 4 students per teacher.
      [Related: IEP 101 (video)]
      Reviews and results
      In my time as a speech-language pathologist, I have had a front-row seat in observing therapeutic services for children with a wide range of developmental delays. I have discovered that the gains children make vary greatly from program to program. The progress your child makes in a therapeutic program is a direct result of the effectiveness of the clinicians. Look for online reviews and references from satisfied parents so you know that your child is receiving the best care possible.
      Open-door policy
      The best therapeutic programs want parents involved in their child’s progress. An open-door policy that allows parents to drop in to observe their child’s day (such as through a two-way mirror) is the hallmark of a quality program.
      The results of a therapeutic preschool program can be truly transformative for your child. Ask questions. Ask around. Look online for reviews. Doing your research will pay off, as you will find the right program to become your “partner” in helping your child reach their full potential.
      Read more...
    • How to encourage your child to not get caught up in consumer culture.
      Another holiday season is over, leaving many with sweet memories of “joy to the world,” while for others there is a bitterness of “bah humbug.” Some of those feelings derive from the surplus of things and loved ones we were surrounded by—or not. Our materialistic culture gives us both the illusion of abundance and the pressure to replace our possessions with the latest and newest version. Our motivation to consume is to make us happier. But is that what it’s actually doing?
      As a child, I grew up learning hard lessons about the value of money because my family had a tumultuous relationship with financial stability. The inconsistency in having things—both that I needed and wanted—taught me how to be disciplined in saving and savoring. My partner, on the other hand, grew up in material privilege. Despite those differences, we agree on shaping our children’s thinking about store-bought items as complementary and not essential to a meaningful life. 
      People of all ages, socioeconomic backgrounds, races, and genders highly value what our society has placed on a pedestal—smartphones, designer clothes and shoes, or other status symbols. When it comes to feeding the soul, these things mean very little. Instead, the false and temporary sense of importance they give us disappears as soon as hot new items hit the shelves. 
      The holidays are often a hard time for parents. Once the parties are over and the gifts have been opened, all of our possessions, old and new, can make us feel both overwhelmed and empty. Given this bottomless pit of consumer (un)satisfaction, what is a parent or a shopaholic to do? A lot, if you’re striving for unshakable inner peace. It is definitely a long journey to change certain habits, but here are some steps we can all  take while we and our families are on that road:
      Let go of old stuff. Donate smartphones, toys, and clothing to local organizations serving those in need; a school STEM program could utilize your old phone to build an app. A domestic violence shelter could benefit from the use of your unused phone. Don’t just wait until the holidays to volunteer; people are in need all year round. Share your creativities with those who value you—it could feed your soul and others. Playdates rule! The more positive human interaction, the better. Play board games together as a family. It’s a favorite routine for our family after a stressful workday. Listen to music. Name all of the instruments you hear, or play along with your own. As a mother who is aware that my personal growth benefits my entire family, I stay motivated by their watchful eyes. I am hoping that what I am planting will grow into something that will reflect our core family values. So, when my partner and I hear our oldest say that she wants to be rich so she can give money to end homelessness, my partner and I see this as a small achievement. Surrounded by our relentless consumer culture, we do our best to feed our children unconditional love, a sense of community, and the importance of justice as the things truly worth “consuming” every day.
      Read more...
    • Have the urge to purge? De-clutter and donate toys and clothes as a family by making it a fun learning experience.
      Chicagoans don’t need to wait for spring cleaning time to come around. With months of cold, inhospitable weather, there’s plenty of time to fit in a January purge beforehand. After the abundance of the holidays and the resolutions of the New Year, this is the perfect time to clear out the old.
      I enjoy this enforced home time to reassess what our family has and needs, and to get organized. However, while clearing out can seem like a great idea when you start, it can quickly become overwhelming. To prevent being left with heaps of random objects and fraught family members, I implement these steps to keep the project under control — and even enjoyable.
      [Related: How to counter consumer culture with your kids]
      Involve the whole family. I use these purges as an opportunity to speak to my children about giving. This is the perfect opportunity to highlight how lucky we are and to emphasize the positive qualities of generosity and empathy. Ensuring all members of the household have a say in what is donated and where, there is ownership and a willingness to participate.
      Set aside some time. Find a time to embark upon your purge when you’re not going to be rushed. Fitting something in between appointments is asking for trouble. Things do not always go to plan and your younger helpers might not work as quickly as you’d like. Allocating a longer stretch on the calendar keeps everyone relaxed. Then if you have some time to spare, you can reward your team with a well-earned snack.
      Gather bags and boxes. When you’ve set a date, the next step is to ensure that you have enough bags and boxes to sort unwanted items into. Especially now that stores aren’t giving out bags so readily, these may not be on hand. You don’t want to be left with piles of stuff that you need to deal with later.
      Assign tasks. Determine which areas to be purged can involve children and which might be best dealt with alone. Clothes could be an easy one to enlist help with. Little ones can understand the concept of giving away pieces that don’t fit. Toys you might have to sort through yourself, to avoid emotional outbursts.
      [Related: A British expat on teaching kids manners]
      Divide your donations. As you go, divide things into separate bags or boxes depending upon type. Having all books together, toys together and clothes together makes it easier to donate things to the right place. You don’t want to have to re-sort later.
      Determine where to donate. Think ahead about where you want to send your chosen items, and be sure to check that they’re accepting donations. Some places only take seasonal items or are already heavily stocked in certain areas. Another crucial thing to keep in mind is drop-off hours. Loading up your chosen items, and be sure to check that they’re accepting donations. Some places only take seasonal items or are already heavily stocked in certain areas. Another crucial thing to keep in mind is drop-off hours. Loading up your car to find that your preferred destination is closed is a waste of precious time.
      I keep a list of resources to donate to. The schools and church we belong to have donation drives throughout the calendar year, so we store items specifically for those. We also know which charities take clothing, toys and books, and which places we can make year-round donations to when we’re ready. Resale stores can provide another outlet for higher-end items. Then there are of course resources where you can post and sell items online. For the more creative, organizing a swap social for friends can be fun and a great bonding opportunity, too. As they say, one person’s trash is another person’s treasure!
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    • "Prioritize yourself" was one of the takeaway lessons of Michelle Obama's Chicago stop on her Becoming tour.
      I had the pleasure of joining thousands of other women to attend Michelle Obama's book launch event for her book, Becoming, on Nov. 13 at United Center. It was amazing! I was in awe of her story, her strength, and steadfastness to become the Michelle Obama so many of us have come to love and adore. No matter your political affiliation, you cannot deny the superpowers she displays as a daughter, wife, mom, friend and leader. A true boss! 
      Ok, so now that I have finished gushing about Michelle Obama (can you tell I admire her just a little bit?), there was so much that I took from listening to the over two-hour conversation between her and my other hero, Oprah Winfrey. I am sure every mom felt a little bit more confident in their walk leaving the event! I know that I walked away feeling reassured by my mission as a mompreneur to inspire and enable moms to be more intentional about their self-care.
      One of the things that Michelle Obama shared that evening was to "push yourself up on your priority list." Sounds easy enough but yet it is so challenging for moms to do. I mean, if we push ourselves up on our to-do list, what will need to get de-prioritized? Will it be our partners? Our children? Mommy chores? It will likely be something, but we as moms have to get to a place where we are ok with it. We have to feel confident in knowing that the benefits of prioritizing "us" will far outweigh the cost of not conquering the to-do list or temporarily de-prioritizing someone else. It will be there tomorrow.   
      I can talk to you about this until I am blue in the face. I can have your bestest girlfriends call you and tell you once a day to have some me-time. I can even ask your significant other tell you its ok to be selfish every once in a while to have a mommy break. But if you do not truly believe this yourself, it will be in vain. If you do not put mind over matter to make it happen it will not. In order to become the moms and, most importantly, the women we were destined to be, we must be more intentional about our self-care in 2019.  
      Here are three easy things you can do:
      1. Create a list of your favorite things to do. From working out to trying new restaurants to taking a walk along the lake, there are tons of different things you can do. 2. Once you make your list of favorite things, pick two things to do over the next two weeks. It can be as quick as 15 minutes or as long as a couple of hours. Write it down on the calendar. (Writing it down is important.)
      3. Share your intention with at least one person. This can be a fellow mom (and if it gets her on board to join you), your significant other, or a co-worker. Ask them to check with you a couple of days before the scheduled break to make sure you are on track for still taking it. 
      If you are successful with completing these tasks, “rinse and repeat” and try again next month. We not only owe it to Michelle Obama so that she has tangible proof that her story made an impact, but more importantly, we owe it to ourselves. I am ecstatic for 2019 and all of the awesome women we will continue to become as a result of being intentional about our self-care in 2019.  
      Read more...
    • CPS recently organized all its high schools in easy-to-understand categories such as eligibility requirements, selection process and more.
      Many Chicago parents, myself included, start thinking about high school at the same time we're applying to preschool. This phenomenon isn’t limited to “type A” parents or “helicopter” parents or overachieving parents. We begin thinking about high school so early because our children’s access to education can influence major life decisions such as where we live, and because to new and not-so-new parents, public high schools in Chicago are something of a mystery. 
      [Related: High School Admissions 101 (members-only video)]
      What are public high schools like in Chicago? Are they all the same or does each school offer different programs? Is there an application process? Is it the same for all schools?
      These are just a few of the questions I had as a preschool parent. If you have questions like this, too, you'll love this useful resource from Chicago Public Schools that lists every public high school in the city, each school’s programs’ eligibility requirements, selection process and more. CPS organized all of this information into one document, which you can find in the Elementary and High School Guide at go.cps.edu. To go directly to the list of high school programs, eligibility and selection process, click here. CPS hasn't publicized this document, as far as I can tell, so I want to make sure other parents can find it!
      In this document, one section is organized by the type of admission screening required, such as an audition, an essay, attendance at an information session, and more. The next section lists the schools with IB programs and service leadership (formerly military) programs. The last section lists each high school and gives detailed information about program eligibility requirements and the selection process for each program at each school. Some high schools, such as Lincoln Park High School, have six different programs to which students can be admitted and this document lays out the differences in eligibility and selection for each one.
      [Related: You have more CPS high school options than you think]
      This information would have been enlightening for me to come across when my children were younger, when I wanted to know what public high school options were available. Now as a parent of a 5th grader, this information got me up to speed quickly. At this point, I am casting a wide net for my son and this document has it all. When my son is in middle school we’ll use this information to narrow down his high school search, prioritize his choices, and prepare his application.
      I still have questions about the high school search, but for now, at least, some of them have been answered.
      Check out NPN's school search tools to make your school search easier! Our School Directory compiles up-to-date stats on every school in the city. And look for upcoming NPN School Choice events such as CPS 101.
      Read more...
    • Are you thinking about applying for CPS preschool, but confused about timing and how to apply? We have answers.
      Preschool in Chicago is not required, but many families consider enrolling their children into a local preschool option when their child is 3 years old. The public preschool landscape has changed a lot over the years, but it is starting to get streamlined into just two sources. In all CPS options, children must be potty-trained and age 3 or 4 by September 1. 
      Magnet Preschool Programs: CPS offers Montessori preschool programs at two magnet elementary schools, Drummond and Suder; children must be age 3 and potty trained by September 1. Seats in CPS magnet programs are awarded via a computerized lottery, with priority given for applicants who are siblings of current students. In the entry year of a magnet program, priority is also given to those who reside within 1.5 miles of the school and then any remaining entry-year seats are distributed evenly by CPS Tier. Only these two magnet preschool programs require applicants to apply via the Choice Elementary CPS application at go.cps.edu from October to December one year prior to entry. Acceptance into the magnet preschool programs does guarantee admission into the school’s K–8 program, making spots in these programs highly competitive.
      [Related: Getting into Harvard doesn't need to start in preschool]
      Chicago Early Learning Preschool (CEL): This option is divided between 3-year-old half-day (3 hour) or 4-year-old full-day (7 hour) programs, with the latter also being known as Universal Pre-K (UPK). Most programs are free and typically are hosted by community-based sites for 3-year-olds, while 4-year-olds are prioritized in CPS school-based sites. The application process is online, with a limited number of application support sites. Applicants will rank up to 5 preschool sites. The application period begins the spring just prior to a fall school start, and this year it opens on April 19, 2022, for fall 2022 entry. After a month-long Initial Application Period, later applicants can apply via rolling admissions for remaining seats throughout the school year. Acceptance into a UPK program does not guarantee a kindergarten seat but does give priority points to stay at that school site when applicants apply for kindergarten. Visit Chicago Early Learning for application information and updates.  
      Tours and open houses may be in person or virtual, so it’s always best to call each school you are interested in to inquire about more details. Find contact info for each program here. 
      [Related: CPS Universal Pre-K: What you need to know]
      Some important notes regarding CPS preschool programs: 
      Even if you reside within the neighborhood boundaries of an elementary school that offers a preschool program, you must submit an application via Chicago Early Learning.  Attending a CPS preschool program that is not housed at your neighborhood school does not guarantee admission into that school’s K–8 program (except for the magnet programs described above).  CPS no longer offers Tuition Based Pre-K and instead offers free Universal Pre-K for all 4 year olds. Want more info? Visit go.cps.edu to learn more about CPS application, acceptance and notification and follow the CPS conversations on the NPN Discussion Forum. Updated spring 2022
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    • The 5 steps you need to take to apply to Chicago Public Schools elementary schools, including magnet schools and selective enrollment schools.
      It’s the time of year again! Chicago Public Schools (CPS) opened its applications for the 2022-2023 school year on Wednesday, October 13; the deadline to apply is December 15 at 5pm. Students entering kindergarten through 8th grade may apply for open seats at elementary schools across the city, with a limited number of pre-k options available as well. Learn about Universal Pre-K status.
      [Related: How to apply for CPS preschools]
      In CPS, there are two main types of schools to which you can apply:

      Magnet schools and lottery admission programs – These include magnet schools, magnet cluster schools and open enrollment schools. A completed Choice Elementary Application is required; seats are determined via computerized lottery with no testing involved.
      Selective Enrollment Elementary Schools (SEES) – These include Classical Schools, Regional Gifted Centers (RGC) and Academic Centers for middle schoolers, as well as three English Language Learner (ELL) RGCs. A completed selective enrollment elementary school application is required; students are selected through a testing process.
      For kindergarten entry at any CPS school, children must be age 5 by September 1 of the year they are entering kindergarten. (The only exception is via the Illinois Accelerated Placement Act.)
      Here's an abbreviated guide to getting the application process started in 5 manageable steps:
      1. Create an online family account at GoCPS. You can add a student and toggle “yes” or “no” on whether they have a CPS Student ID. If you need assistance, contact CPS directly at 773-553-2060 or email them at gocps@cps.edu. Applications are due by December 15, 2021.
      2. Apply. Select the schools for which you want to apply via Choice Elementary (lottery) and/or SEES (test required) applications.
      For the Choice Elementary application, you can choose up to 20 schools with no ranking required for the lottery. The portal will use a “counter” instead, but you are not ranking your Choice programs. For the selective enrollment elementary school application, you can select up to 6 Classical and/or Regional Gifted Center (RGC) schools and you must rank them in order of preference. 3. Schedule a test date (for selective enrollment elementary school programs only). After submitting your choices, you will be asked to choose a selective enrollment school test date via your portal. There are separate tests for Classical Schools and Regional Gifted Centers. If applying to kindergarten, both tests will be administered at the same session. If applying to older grades for both types selective enrollment programs, your child will be tested on separate dates. Testing will occur from November 2021 through February 2022, or until all applicants have been tested.
      4. Submit your online application by 5pm CST on December 15. You should receive instant confirmation of your online application. Notification letters and test results will be posted to your online application portal in April/May 2022.
      5. Visit the schools you are most interested in. This is a very important step in the process and ideally should be done before you select schools and submit your application. Check out the NPN School Directory to get an overview of each school, contact schools for virtual or in-person tour dates and open houses, and try to connect with parents whose children attend the schools you are considering. Bear in mind that the “most talked about” schools might not be the best fit for your child. Also, don’t underestimate your own neighborhood school, as it may be a “hidden gem” and the perfect place for your child—and for you and your family to become part of an active school community.
      [Related: CPS 101 video (members only)]
      These are just the basic steps in the CPS application process. Please note that there may be variations to these steps, depending on the particular programs and/or grades your child is applying to. Visit the GoCPS FAQs for more information and details.
      Remember: No application or deadline is required for your neighborhood school. Every street address in the city is assigned to a neighborhood school where your child is guaranteed a seat. However, keep in mind that the public school nearest to your home may not necessarily be your neighborhood school (even if it’s right across the street!). Enter your primary residential address on the CPS School Locator to determine your neighborhood school. Then contact the school directly for a registration timeline and other pertinent information for incoming students and families.
      Looking ahead to the 2023-2024 school year (or beyond)? Members can watch the CPS 101 Q&A video (recorded 10/8/21) and the four-part CPS 101 video series. Keep your eye on the NPN Chicago School Choice events on the calendar. 
      Want more info? Visit go.cps.edu to learn more about CPS acceptance and notification letters and follow the CPS conversations on the NPN Discussion Forum.
      Updated Fall 2021
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    • There has been a nationwide surge in parents choosing to homeschool, unschool, or choose a non-traditional school without a fixed curriculum or grades.
      To school or not to school?
      Wait, is that even a question? For hundreds of Chicago-area parents and many more across the nation, it is a very real one. In the past decade, there has been a nationwide surge in parents choosing to homeschool, unschool, or choose a non-traditional school without a fixed curriculum or grades. But why?
      Self-Directed Education
      Proponents believe that unschooling provides opportunities for children to explore their interests without the limits of a traditional classroom. Unschooling allows children the freedom to direct their own education and learn at their own pace, without fear of disapproval from teachers or bad grades. It helps preserve the natural love of learning that people are born with, and helps children develop skills of creativity, initiative, leadership, independence, collaboration, and self-confidence.
      [Related: How to apply for CPS preschools]
      Some parents, like myself, dip their toe in the water of unschooling by choosing a play-based preschool, where children’s interests drive the classroom experience and there is no preset curriculum. At that age, it is a broadly accepted philosophy that children are born with a natural ability and desire to learn. Many parents continue to follow this philosophy after preschool by homeschooling or unschooling their children.
      Still others are intrigued by the tenets of unschooling or homeschooling but it’s not the right fit for their family financially or logistically. They seek out one of the many non-traditional schools putting down roots across the Chicagoland area. These schools are hybrids of unschooling and traditional school. They follow the philosophy of self-directed education, but add a level of structure to the student experience and a general expectation of student attendance during school hours.
      My Story
      I had two bright and happy children who were doing fine in our excellent local public school. However, as they approached upper elementary grades, their zest for learning was starting to wane. As standardized testing pressures ramped up and homework loads increased, school started to become more of a battle and less of a joy. I did some research into alternative options and, as an educator myself, was intrigued by homeschooling. I longed for the ability to personalize the learning experience for my children’s abilities and interests. Unfortunately, despite my promise of a long recess, my kids did NOT share my interest in homeschooling.
      [Related: Getting into Harvard doesn't need to start in preschool]
      Luckily, we were able to find a non-traditional school that met most of my homeschooling objectives but gave my children the separation from me that they craved. While the fear of taking the path less traveled was pretty intense for all of my family members, we took the leap into self-directed education and haven’t looked back. My kids are ahead of a traditional school curriculum in some subjects, and behind in others, but spend every day learning about something that interests them, so we are all content. Best of all, they now wake up every morning excited about going to school.
      Options
      For every story like mine, there is one with a different ending. Every family has a unique set of needs. The great news is that there are so many education options in Chicago and support networks for those trying them out. Take the time to explore and see if self-directed education might be best for your family. Learn more about homeschooling through local networks like the Chicago Homeschool Network and Northside Unschoolers Group. Find schools with a self-directed education mindset on the NPN website or by talking to schools at the NPN School Fair (it’s where I found my children’s first school!).
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    • Your goal: Take a moment for yourself at least once a week. This is how busy moms can make that happen.
      Self-care. It’s a necessity to being the best caregiver you can be to your children. But it’s a low priority for many parents who wear multiple hats to maintain a career (even as Chief Executive Mom), maintain the household, and raise healthy, happy, and well-balanced children.
      Confession: I have been there multiple times. Albeit passive-aggressively, but definitely there. I know you may be thinking, “How can I possibly fit in one more thing in an already overcommitted schedule?” But it’s not just one more thing. In the absence of self-care, fatigue, stress and resentment set in. Your mental sanity is at stake here!
      [Related: 4 ways I focus on my marriage after becoming a parent]
      Your goal: Take a moment for yourself at least once a week. If that’s too aggressive starting out, aim for twice a month. Following is my foolproof plan to being more mindful of “me time”: Plan, Share, Do.
      Plan
      The nature of our role as “mom” or “dad” does not often allow us to be spontaneous when it comes to taking time for ourselves. After you wrap up your Sunday chores and get the kids to bed, look at the week ahead and determine when you will have an hour or two to steal for yourself. You will need to be flexible with your schedule, whether it’s Friday evening or midweek — whatever is going to be your most frictionless opportunity to get out of the house and decompress. Keep a running list of the types of activities you enjoy doing. You can plan something as simple as sneaking away to Starbucks with your new issue of O Magazine or something more intense, like a 4-hour cooking class. No matter how simple or complex, be intentional about looking ahead and planning the break, so that come the following Sunday, you won’t be kicking yourself for not making any time for yourself.
      [Related: To the moms running on fumes, this is how to refill the tank]
      Share
      If you say you’re going to take a break once a week, you want someone to be holding you accountable to make sure you do it. You would think spouses/partners are the best accountability partners, but their support can wane depending on the number of chores (and number of children!) you are asking them to support while you take your break. The next best thing is a close friend. Bonus if your close friend is a parent, who can be extra empathetic to what you are trying to do. Let them know what you are trying to do, why you are trying to do it, and to check in with you midweek to make sure you are still on track for your mindful “me time.”
      Do
      This is where the rubber meets the road, where you actually have to follow through on the plans that you made. You may have to turn the other cheek to a sink full of dishes, a toddler meltdown, and an empty fridge waiting for you to grocery shopping. No matter the exhaustion and to-do list demons working against you, fight back! Take that moment for yourself. One hour away from the house is all the rejuvenation that most parents need.
      Don’t delay: Enact this plan today. Being more mindful of your “me time” is a win-win for the entire household. Put yourself first, because when you do, you will truly be the best perfectly imperfect parent you can be, and your family will thank you for it.
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    • Help your kids develop a sense of gratitude and giving this holiday season with these tips.
      We all know how much kids like to receive. You only have to mention Santa, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy to understand how true that is. So how can we teach our children to appreciate that the holiday season is primarily about giving, not getting, and to understand how lucky they are?
      Start early. Although giving and gratitude are hard concepts for really little ones to grasp, it’s never too early to start building a culture that embraces them. I’ve heard that by the age of 4 habits for life have already been formed. So as well as teaching your kids that they should brush their teeth twice a day, you could also use this time to establish positive behaviors around generosity and thankfulness.
      Use their language. While some of the language around this subject may be too sophisticated for the smallest members of the family, using words they can relate to helps encourage familiarity early on. Taking advantage of the wealth of children’s books on this subject can help. Favorites in our family include Ordinary Mary’s Extraordinary Deed by Emily Pearson, Thankful by Eileen Spinelli and Have You Filled a Bucket Today by Carol McCloud. There really is something to suit all ages.
      Involve them. You can also introduce youngsters to philanthropy at a tender age, involving them in donation drives at school, daycare, community center, or wherever your family is connected. It’s obviously more meaningful to have your children select something to donate for themselves, although it can be hard for them to give away something of their own (even a toy they no longer play with). But if you’re out shopping for something for them, try having them pick out something for someone who has less than they have. Or start with a less emotive food drive and turn a mundane grocery run into something more like a treasure hunt.
      Utilize tools. Another way to bring in the concept of charitable giving is to use a philanthropy piggy bank. We have a charming one that has a larger mama pig for saving and a smaller, nestling piglet for giving. It’s easy then to suggest birthday money is divided up between them. Finding a charity that your youngsters feel some affinity toward (a school initiative or an animal charity, for example) can help make this idea easier to relate to. Then let them know how proud you are of them for doing this. It is said that children are more highly motivated by feelings of self-worth than tangible rewards.
      Harness creativity. Of course, the physical act of giving something can be an enjoyable project in itself. Labeling gift tags can be good writing practice, while glitterizing or bedazzling a package is what kids truly do best. Setting up a creativity station and putting on some holiday music can make this a fun afternoon activity for the whole family.
      Play mail carrier. Finally, have your kids deliver gifts with you. Recipients will be touched seeing a child hand over a present, and that joy is something your kids will get to witness first-hand. Making a connection between giving and joy is a powerful tool. Giving can be pleasurable for a child too, it just takes a little effort.
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    • When you learn to correctly pronounce someone's name, you're showing them respect and making a good early impression.
      When I met my now-husband, he introduced himself using his middle name, Cyriac. “Cyriac” was especially difficult for me to pronounce because it was completely foreign to my ears. I remember being tongue-tied every time I attempted to say his name.
      Because of those earlier awkward, yet amusing, moments, I always give others grace when they have the same experience hearing his name for the first time. Because of that expected awkwardness, in certain situations, my husband sometimes chooses to offer his first name, John. Most people expect him to have a longer and more “difficult” name because his parents are from India. However, most of his family members have short, biblical names. I was intrigued and perplexed to learn of the prevalence of Christian names (both first and surnames) in the region of India where they are from. When Cyriac’s father immigrated to the US, he switched his surname from Madathikunnel to Mathew, which was his middle name. He and other family members made this change to make it easier for those they would encounter in the States.
      Many immigrants make similar choices when they immigrate here and start a family. Some parents are inspired by their favorite American TV characters or chose a name that will hopefully assimilate their offspring into their new society. But not every new American chooses that route. Sometimes they make another choice that aligns with other values they have. It is a freedom of choice and a privilege some of us forget we have in America. For those Americans—whether “new arrivals” or “born on American soil”—who have names or choose names for their children that are “ethnic,” “unique,” or assumed to be “made up,” they sometimes encounter people who show disrespect, sometimes unconsciously, when they introduce themselves. When this occurs, it can be described as a microaggression.
      According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, a microaggression is “a comment or action that subtly and often unconsciously or unintentionally expresses a prejudiced attitude toward a member of a marginalized group (such as a racial minority).”
      For example, asking to call someone by a nickname because it’s easier for you to pronounce is considered a microaggression. I understand that asking for an easier way to identify a person could be seen as an effort to meet them “halfway.” But avoiding someone’s birth name instead of training your tongue to learn it could be taken as an insult. It took time for me to finally pronounce Cyriac with ease. Today, when I perfect a new name, the smile I sometimes see on a person’s face is worth every minute I spent practicing their name. It is especially fulfilling for a child to see me, as a school staff member, make the effort to learn their name. By doing that, I show them that I value them as a whole person. Since my goal is to build relationships with people, simply pronouncing a person’s name properly is a good first impression and sets a positive foundation for future interactions.
      As parents, Cyriac and I chose unique, yet culturally rich names for our children. We teach our children to educate anyone they encounter to properly pronounce their names because they have great meaning and were chosen to inspire them. So, the next time you, a loved one and/or your child encounters a person with a “difficult” name, please remember that names tell a story, hold power and contain a legacy. The effort that we make to humble ourselves and seek guidance on mastering new names makes a world of difference in showing respect and building relationships with others.
      Read more...
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