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    • If you're searching for the right school for your child, the CPS ratings may be a factor in your decision. But they shouldn't be the only one.
      On Friday, Chicago Public Schools released a lot of new data. While CPS's continued enrollment slide made the biggest headlines (enrollment is linked to how much funding each district receives), the new school ratings are likely more important to parents, especially those in the thick of school search. Find out where your school—or the schools you're considering for your child next year—ranks here. 
      [Related: Want to make your community better? Consider your neighborhood school]
      My son's school's rating dropped from a 1+ to a 1. That's disappointing, for sure, but this article about what these ratings really mean helped me understand the data that drives these ratings, and why perhaps you shouldn't put too much stock into them. 
      Possibly the most controversial data point in these ratings is attendance, which is weighted more than all other factors. A "perfect" score is 96% attendance. Attendance is no doubt important, but if a school slips below that 96% attendance rate, its rating takes a huge hit.
      "For example, last year Saucedo Scholastic Academy just barely received a Level 2+ rating, with 2.9 points," the article states. "Students at Saucedo had a 95.9% attendance rate. Had students been sick just a few days less, their attendance would have increased to 96.0%, and they would have become a Level 1 school."
      [Related: The little-known strategy of getting into Chicago schools]
      So if you're researching schools for your child, by all means take these school ratings into account. But my advice is also to consider the many other aspects that make a school successful, such as a committed principal and a highly involved parent group. Luckily, my son's school has both.
      Check out NPN's school search tools to make your school search easier! Our School and Daycare Directory compiles up-to-date stats on every school in the city. And look for upcoming NPN School Choice events such as CPS 101.
      Read more...
    • Using these tools (and many deep breaths), you can raise a child with a difficult co-parent with less stress and tension.
      Raising children with another person can be unbelievably stressful. Despite our best efforts to be sensitive to another person’s parenting style or preferred method of discipline, aligning one’s values with the other parent when both parents have strong opinions of the “right” or “wrong” way to rear children can be tricky. 
      While parties who don’t have children together can effectively sever ties (absent a financial obligation to the other party), this is an impossibility for parents. What was once a “bundle of joy” may now be a ball of stress, especially if decisions cannot be made for the best interest of their child.
      In Illinois, parents are presumed to be fit to co-parent absent the existence of an impediment to this presumption. I have many clients who complain that their former partner is “impossible” to co-parent with, that co-parenting with a difficult partner seems like an oxymoron, and that seeking sole decision making on behalf of the child or children is the only option.
      Is all lost in the face of a difficult parent? If conflict has abounded during the period of separation or thereafter, is sole decision-making the only option? I do not believe so. In fact, through a plethora of tools and approaches, co-parenting with the difficult parent can happen. It is not without tension and the need for taking (many) deep breaths, but it is feasible with the help of a few tools.
      1. Centralize. While texting is quick and efficient, tone often gets lost over text. How many times have we interpreted a perfectly benign comment as an insult? Texting between separated parents, though perhaps necessary in the event of an emergency, begs for conflict.
      Luckily, a number of online tools are available for separated parents where communication can be centralized and monitored. I encourage parents to use websites like OurFamilyWizard.com and Talkingparents.com, where messages are stored and it is possible to see if a parent has viewed a message and when. On top of this, OurFamilyWizard.com can analyze messages before they are sent to identify inflammatory language and suggest alternative words that will diffuse a message.
      2. Organize. In addition to using centralized communication portals, where parents can share a calendar and even upload receipts for reimbursement of expenses, parents can avoid conflict by being organized in what they communicate with one another. When sending an email, stick to one topic per thread to ensure matters are addressed separately. While it may seem cumbersome to break down subjects into several emails each, there is less of a risk of misinterpretation or finger pointing when decisions need to be made.
      3. Diffuse. Parenting coordinators are professionals who assist parents with resolving disputes without the need to go to court, unless a party disagrees with the parenting coordinator’s suggested resolution and needs a judge to weigh in. Considered a “mediator with teeth,” parenting coordinators are governed by circuit court rules and appointed by court order that includes very specific terms regarding the types of decisions he or she will make for the parties. In addition to immediate resolution of conflict when a decision has to be made (versus litigation, which can take months to resolve with the courts’ full calendars), the cost savings can be significant.
      Whether parents to toddlers or teens, separated parties can raise children together in a less conflict-ridden manner than one might think, provided there is a commitment to working through differences and taking advantage of the tools out there to do so. 
      Read more...
    • When you need childcare at the last minute, these childcare services and babysitters in Chicago could save the day.
      Whether you’re a stay-at-home parent, a work-at-home mom or dad, or even a full-time working one with regular childcare, with holidays and conference season upon us, we all need extra help from time to time. Here’s a quick list of places in the city that offer last-minute and/or part-time services.
      The Nook (Bucktown and South Loop)
      This full-service daycare allows non-member parents to book absent children’s open spots via an online app, which is regularly updated until 6 a.m. day-of. There is currently no smartphone app, but rumor has it that could soon become available as interest in the program grows.
      Pros: Easy-to-use online app for scheduling; half- and full-day options; reasonable prices
      Cons: Limited availability for last-minute drop-ins; better to book well in advance if you know you’ll need the help
      K Grace
      Specializing in part-time childcare, K Grace serves many nurses, artists, photographers and others with non-traditional and/or flexible work schedules. Parents also use the service for last-minute sitters to run errands, finish some work or otherwise fill in the gaps. Bookings are made through an online calendar system up to 48 hours in advance (although K Grace staffers try to honor last-minute requests via an after-hours phone number), and the sitter is matched based on availability, experience and ability to meet special needs.
      Pros: Highly vetted, CPR-certified sitters (over 1,000 on file) available same-day for last-minute needs; nights and weekend help available; high success rate for last-minute requests within a few hours
      Cons: Complex pricing structure, which becomes more affordable the more you use the service; must pay sitter separately
      Bright Horizons (various locations)
      This nationwide daycare offers employer-subsidized backup childcare, including both drop-offs at the various centers or in-home help. Many clients take advantage of their own or their spouse’s benefits when they know schools will be closed or need someone at the last minute.
      Pros: Subsidized last-minute care year-round; facilities across the country for use while traveling with children
      Cons: Only available for those with employer-provided backup-care benefits; limit on number of days available for the services
      Read more...
    • Students’ success in school is not dependent on their abilities, their income background, or their race or ethnicity, according to a report by The New Teacher Project.
      We’ve been telling students and families that doing well in school creates opportunities—that showing up, doing the work, and meeting teachers’ expectations will prepare them for their futures. Unfortunately, that’s a myth.
      That’s the subject of The Opportunity Myth: What Students Can Show Us About How School Is Letting Them Down—and How to Fix It, a new research report we at TNTP, a national nonprofit dedicated to ending the injustice of educational inequality, published last month. 
      The Opportunity Myth unpacks a big question: Why are so many students graduating from high school ill-prepared for college and careers? Nationwide, 40 percent of college students take at least one remedial course. (That number is even higher for students of color: 66 percent of Black students and 53 percent of Latinx students, for example, end up in remedial courses.) Those courses add time and money to students’ higher education, and put them at greater risk of dropping out altogether. 
      We wanted to understand why that was happening, and what we—all of us who work in and around schools—could do to change it. We believed that a better understanding of what students experience in school every day would help us do that. So, we went straight to the source: students themselves. 
      We partnered with five school systems to observe nearly 1,000 lessons, analyze nearly 5,000 assignments and more than 20,000 student work samples, and collect nearly 30,000 student surveys conducted in real-time during their classes. We conducted focus groups and interviews with teachers and school leaders and interviewed more than 50 students in greater depth. 
      The young people in our sample reflect the richly diverse fabric of our public schools in every way. But they have a few things in common: The vast majority (94 percent overall) told us they intend to go to college. And among high schoolers, roughly 70 percent specifically aspire to careers that require at least a college degree. 
      Unfortunately, another thing they have in common is that most are not getting what they need to meet those goals. Across all five school systems, students were missing out on four key in-school resources: grade-appropriate assignments, strong instruction, deep engagement, and teachers who hold high expectations. 
      Students spent more than 500 hours per school year on assignments that weren’t appropriate for their grade and with instruction that didn’t ask enough of them—the equivalent of six months of wasted class time in each core subject. And middle and high school students reported that their school experiences were engaging less than half the time. Underlying those weak experiences were low expectations: While more than 80 percent of teachers supported standards for college readiness in theory, less than half had the expectation that their students could reach that bar. 
      We also found that while daily school experiences were unacceptable for most students in our sample, they were notably worse for students of color, those from low-income families, English language learners, and students with mild to moderate disabilities. For example, classrooms that served predominantly students from higher-income backgrounds spent twice as much time on grade-appropriate assignments and five times as much time with strong instruction, compared to classrooms with predominantly students from low-income backgrounds. 
      But critically, we found that students from every demographic background had roughly the same success rates on grade-level work, when they were given the opportunity to try it. More than half met the bar for grade-level standards when their assignments asked them to. Moreover, when students had greater access to the four key resources, students from all groups—and especially those who started the school year academically behind—gained months of additional learning compared to students in classrooms with less access the key resources. 
      What this data tells us, indisputably, is that students’ success in school is not dependent on their abilities, their income background, or their race or ethnicity. The key variable is actually adults’ decisions. 
      As a parent or family member, you have the opportunity to be an invaluable partner in shaping your child’s school experiences. You have the right to know what’s happening in your child’s classroom and school, and to raise questions and concerns. To advocate for improvements in students’ school experiences like those discussed in The Opportunity Myth, visit our website to download a collection of tools and resources to support productive conversations with your child’s teachers, school leaders, and district leaders.
      TNTP is a national nonprofit dedicated to ending the injustice of educational inequality. Learn more at tntp.org.
      Read more...
    • How to time your Chicago school search to get into the school you want.
      “When is the best time to begin my school search?” is a question often posed by families looking to start the always dreaded but ultimately necessary rite of passage known as the “Chicago School Search.” Sometimes the question is followed up by a plaintive, “Oh my goodness! Am I too late?!” Rest easy, Chicago families. The answer is not as cut-and-dried as one would think — and ultimately, you are never “too late.”
      [Related: Getting into Harvard doesn't need to start in preschool]
      As the third largest city in the U.S., Chicago is home to a vast range of school types, sizes, options, and admissions processes. Even within Chicago Public Schools (CPS), there are various pathways for entry from preschool to high school. Overlaid with the multitude of private and parochial schools, there are always choices for parents whenever they embark on their school search. That being said, one of the keys to increasing your odds in any endeavor is to know when those odds are at their best.
      “Entry Year” odds
      For school admissions, when a program begins is known as the “entry year” of a school (e.g., a K-8 school’s entry year is kindergarten). This is typically the time when the school has the most spots available. But it can have the most applicants, as well. For example, a school with two kindergarten classrooms of 25 students each will have 50 spots to fill, and perhaps 500 applicants (a 10% admit rate). Conversely, that same school’s first-grade class may have just one spot open, but only five students applying — so it could have a 20% admit rate in a non-entry year. Considering how difficult it is to predict if any upper-year spots may be available, a good strategy is to be in the applicant pool of the entry year for your desired school.
      Some common or little-known entry points are:
      Infants (6 weeks: Montessori Academy of Chicago) 3-year-olds (University of Chicago Lab School, Frances Xavier Warde, many Montessori schools) 4-year-olds (Chicago City Day School, Inter-American Magnet) 5-year-olds (most CPS schools) 5th grade (additional spots at Latin School) 6th grade (additional spots at Francis Parker) 7th grade (CPS Academic Centers) 9th grade (high schools) [Related: Want to make your community better? Consider your neighborhood school]
      September 1 cut-off
      Most preschool and early elementary programs have a strict age cutoff date of September 1, so keep that in mind when determining your child’s entry year. Once a school’s entry point is confirmed, be sure to apply one year before the program starts to be in the running for available seats. In other words, if you are interested in a school that begins at 3 years old, then plan to apply that fall when your child is 2 years old. Whatever year you enter a school, you are allowed to stay until the school ends, which is typically 8th or 12th grade.
      Targeting the entry year can increase your odds of acceptance at a school of your choice. Good luck with your school search journey, and may the odds be with you!
      Updated Spring 2021
      Read more...
    • Recipes and tips for making your child's school lunch
      As parents, we are sometimes just as excited as our kids when school is out for summer. For us, that means no helping with homework, no rushing around in the morning, and no packing of lunches. But as the summer nears the end, we realize the tasks ahead of us as the school year begins. Packing lunches does not need to be one of those dreaded tasks. Here are some helpful tips for putting together a delicious lunch in advance:
      No “surprise” lunches
      Try out new recipes on your kids at home first, rather than surprising them with a new lunch. As a food blogger, I do this all the time.
      Use Sunday to prep
      When I find something they like, I’ll make that dish on a Sunday night. I make enough so I can pack individual lunches for a few days during the week. My kids’ lunch favorites are Banana Muffins, Hidden Zucchini Muffins, Bourbon Chicken and Crispy Corn Flake Chicken (see below for recipe). Also on Sundays, my boys and I will bake S’mores Brownies. Then we’ll wrap them individually so they’re ready for the lunch box for dessert throughout the week.
      Eat in season
      My go-to fruit is the small individual bag of organic apple slices from Costco or Trader Joe’s. Of course, a fabulous autumn activity is apple picking. If you have picked them fresh, make sure to cut them up in the morning so they don’t turn brown before lunch. If stored properly, freshly picked apples will last up to two months in the refrigerator.
      Keep it cold
      Freeze a box of yogurt squeezers (my favorite is Stoneyfield Organic Strawberry), and include one in the lunch box. By the time lunch rolls around, the yogurt will be defrosted but still cold. And it will keep the other lunch items cold, too. You can find dozens of quick and easy kid-friendly recipes on my blog at www.mommachef.com. All use no more than six ingredients and are under six minutes of prep time.
      Momma Chef’s Cornflake Coated Chicken (makes 6 servings)
      6 boneless chicken breasts
      4 cups cornflakes
      2 large eggs
      2 tbsp. water
      1 tbsp. salt

      1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
      2. In a large bowl, mix together eggs and water. Set aside.
      3. In a large Ziploc bag, add the cornflakes and salt. Then crush the cornflakes.
      4. Dip each chicken breast in the egg/water mixture and put them in the Ziploc bag. Shake to coat all sides of the chicken.
      5. Arrange the chicken in a single layer on a baking sheet and bake for 40 minutes.
      Read more...
    • After living on the north side and south sides of Chicago, this mom of two has finally found her home.
      As a parent and a long-time resident of Chicago, I often feel a great deal of conflict toward my changing city. Its natural and man-made beauty, as well as its diversity, are what makes many locals feel so proud to live here. Yet and still, there are things that cause feelings of shame and anguish to surface in many residents, myself included.
      I like how Chicago blends modernization and world-class charm with our simple family values. It’s why so many transplants come here. In one part of town, we have our chill, lakefront vibe and a surplus of fun to be had, while other parts are riddled with dilapidated buildings, underfunded public centers and schools, and conflict stemming from unresolved and ongoing trauma. It leaves many residents of this city feeling mixed emotions. When I think about these things, I feel a range of emotions in the same way Chicagoans feel a range of weather on any given day. 
      [Related: 3 reasons I'm glad my kids aren't growing up in the suburbs like I did]
      I was born and raised mostly in Chicago. If it weren’t for my shy, but adventurous mother and her nomadic lifestyle, I would not have had the privilege of growing up around so many vastly different people. My beginning years were spent in Englewood. Despite what many outsiders may assume about Englewood, it provided so many wonderful childhood memories. My sense of self was influenced by the strength of community I was surrounded by in Englewood. Unfortunately, everything changed with the infiltration of narcotics. I, like so many other residents, witnessed the decline of a community that no longer looked, sounded, or felt like home. Fortunately, my mother had the means to leave an undesirable living situation, which changed my world as a child. 
      Rogers Park and Uptown were our next places of residence. The level of diversity on the North Side was like tasting a new flavor that made me wonder why it took so long to experience such euphoria. The children in the neighborhoods where I lived were the most open-minded and kind-hearted humans I had ever met. As a result, my transition to the North Side was smooth despite the differences. I grew up learning about so many different customs, foods and religions through my friendship with classmates and neighbors. Through our relationships, my new friends and I expanded our parents’ worldview and made them realize that there were very few differences between us. We were members of the human community.
      It wasn’t until I moved into my first apartment in South Shore that I stopped calling the North Side “my side.” After living on the South Side for many years, I repeated history. In 2016, my partner and I took a leap of faith and relocated to the “North Pole” (my side). This time it wasn’t out of fear for our safety, but because of the difficulty in finding a reasonably priced home close to a diverse, level 1+ neighborhood school. Unfortunately (and fortunately), parts of the North Side were still incredibly diverse and economically stable compared to the “prestigious college neighborhood” on the South Side where we lived. I wanted our children to experience the ”world-class diversity” we Chicagoans pride ourselves for having. 
      [Related: Why I didn't move after a nearby shooting]
      Fast forward to now: My daughter has so many friends from different countries, all of which she can identify on our world map. She pronounces their names and countries with ease. As we walk around our neighborhood, seeing a hijab, braids, a spodik, saris, locs, or a burqa is normal to her and a comfort to me. I wish all Chicagoans could experience this harmonious diversity.  It might encourage us to easily identify as citizens of the world.
      Read more...
    • How to help city kids sleep better
      It’s back-to-school time, and everyone is trying to get back on a schedule after summer vacation. Getting back on track can be a little more difficult in the city than in a rural or vacation setting. There are simply more sleep-disturbing distractions. But no matter where you live, your child needs adequate sleep to keep up with the social, emotional, and academic demands of their education-centered lives.
       
      Good sleep starts in a healthy sleep environment. The conditions in your child’s room make a difference in her ability to fall and stay asleep. This is one area where the location of your home — urban or rural — makes the biggest difference. The sleep environment needs to be dark and quiet because both mind and body have to fully relax to fall asleep.
       
      Urban areas may have more light pollution, traffic, and street noise, all of which can interfere with sleep. Light, whether it comes from the sun or from an artificial source, helps establish your child’s circadian rhythms. Circadian rhythms are 24-hour cycles that control, amongst other things, your child’s sleep-wake cycle. If light from a streetlamp streams through your child’s window at night, it can cause wakefulness or even disrupt the release of sleep hormones. Sounds that can be heard through the windows have a similar effect.
       
      Blackout curtains or heavy drapes block out light and absorb some sound. You can also try using a white noise machine or app to drown out street noise.
       
      The next step is to make comfort a priority. Scratchy tags and seams that an adult would never notice can be a deal breaker for a child. Check the mattress for tags, lumps, or sags. There are many high-quality mattresses on the market for less than $1000 that can eliminate this kind of discomfort.
       
      When it’s warm out, sheets with natural fibers like cotton and linen breathe better and can keep your child from overheating. As temperatures start to drop, flannel and jersey sheets offer more warmth. You’ll also want to turn the thermostat down to a cool 60 to 68 degrees to support the drop in body temperature necessary for the onset of sleep.
       
      One of the most important things you can do is to establish a consistent sleep schedule. Going to bed and waking up at the same time every day helps your child’s brain know when to start the release of sleep hormones. When your child is trying to get back into the school groove, a consistent bedtime can make sure he’s getting the rest he needs. You can prevent Monday sleep debt by sticking to the bedtime on weekends, too.
      FInally, for the child who has trouble settling down at night, develop a calming bedtime routine. Like a consistent sleep schedule, bedtime routines help the brain recognize when to start release of sleep hormones. A routine also gives your child some time to calm down and relieve stress that may be lingering from the school day. It’s also an opportunity for the two of you to share some quiet moments together.
      Reading a book, listening to quiet music, or taking a warm bath can all be part of a healthy bedtime routine. Try to perform each activity in the same order and start to the routine at the same time each night.
       
      While rural living may be quieter and a little less bright, you can get the same deep restful sleep back here in the city. Give you and your child some time to adjust to the new schedule and before you know it, you’ll both be resting easy.
       
      Read more...
    • We need to close the gap on breastfeeding disparities and inequalities.
      Too much bandwidth is being taken up by the so called "mommy wars."
      In this debate, opposing tribes of (typically well-off, middle-class) moms berate each while wielding their totemic claims: “Breast is best” vs “Back off and butt out, it’s every moms right to choose what’s best for her and her baby.”
      Now, I’ll be honest. Until recently, I used to be one of these moms. I had breastfed two children and so it was obvious: my team was Breast is Best. In fact, being a blogger, I even posted a few rants in which I condemned moms who chose to bottle-feed.
      [Related: The best-kept secret about breastfeeding]
      But here’s the thing: While this conversation does cover some important issues, nevertheless, it is a distraction. The really important issue, the one which deserves to take up mom-blogger bandwidth, is breastfeeding inequality.
      Are you aware that in the poor state of Louisiana (US) only 56% of mothers ever breastfeed, but in the relatively wealthy state of California, 93% do?
      Did you know that only 38% of mothers living below the poverty threshold breastfeed at 6-months, while 68% of mothers in top-earning families do?
      And finally, did you realize that only 29% of mothers who never marry breastfeed their babies until 6-months, whereas 60% of married women do?
      Shocking, isn’t it?
      I learned about breastfeeding inequality this year. I was preparing to write another generic mommy wars-style article attacking bottle-feeding. Being a bit of a research nerd, I began digging into the national statistics on breastfeeding. What I learned shattered my preconceptions about breastfeeding.
      The disparities are huge. In the US, there are almost 4 million mothers with a baby less than 12 months old. When you run the percentages against that figure you are looking at tens (even hundreds) of thousands of mothers who are not breastfeeding because they grew up in the ‘wrong’ area code.
      [Related: 5 things you should know about breastfeeding before giving birth]
      Highlighting this isn't about shaming mothers — precisely the opposite. It's about looking hard at the socioeconomic factors causing the problems. It’s about dropping the notion that all moms have the same breastfeeding opportunities and choices. They don’t.
      It was this realization that caused me to ditch my breastfeeding tribalism. The mommy wars miss the point, and, in doing so, they get in the way of real progressive health improvements for moms and babies.
      Here are just a few reasons that less well-off mothers find it more difficult to reach optimal breastfeeding goals:
      • Less access to paid maternity leave
      • Lower paid jobs that are less likely to allow for pumping breaks
      • Inadequate maternity and lactation support in hospital
      • Less effective family and community support
      • A culture that doesn't unconsciously treat breastfeeding as a desirable status symbol
      Tackling these issues will be no small feat. But mothers, let’s come together around a goal that we can all agree on: that all moms from all walks of life should have equal knowledge, opportunity, and support to breastfeed (if they want to).
      Mamas, let’s do this!
      Read more...
    • Tips for preparing your special needs child for back-to-school
      For most parents, back-to-school time means buying the kids a new backpack and shoes, and maybe taking them for a haircut. For parents of kids with special needs, however, going back-to-school can be much more stressful for both them and their children than just a shopping trip to
      the mall. Children who are not successful in school, either for emotional/behavioral or academic reasons, often feel happier and calmer over the summer break when they are not dealing with the demands of school. If this is your family’s situation, there are several things you can do to try to minimize the stress of back-to-school for you and your child.
      Review your child’s IEP
      Whether the IEP was drafted six months ago or just prior to summer break, it is helpful to refamiliarize yourself with the services and accommodations your child will be receiving in the upcoming school year. Check to make sure that the IEP still reflects your child’s needs or whether some aspects need to be modified due to changes over the past few months. Under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), an IEP meeting to review the IEP can be requested at any time during the school year. You do not need to wait until annual
      review time.

      Organize your child’s school records
      If you child has been in special education for more than a few years, chances are you have a lot of paperwork accumulated from the school and outside providers. Summer break is a great time to review your documentation and develop an organizational system. I use an accordian file for my own child, but many of my clients prefer a three-ring binder. Not unlike tax documents, we recommend that you maintain your child’s
      special education documents during the length of time they are in school. While a parent has a right to request a copy of their child’s educational records at any time under the Illinois School Student Records Act (ISSRA), it is still a good idea to maintain your own copy for comparison and easy access.
      Request a back-to-school IEP for the beginning of the year
      For both my own daughter and many of my clients, I frequently request that an IEP meeting be scheduled approximately 3-5 weeks
      into the school year to ensure that the services are being implemented smoothly and to review and tweak the IEP. For children undergoing a significant transition (e.g., to a new school or new placement), I would not hesitate to request a meeting to review that transition. Ideally, we
      recommend that this type of back-to-school meeting be included as a necessary accommodation in your child’s IEP, especially when experiencing a significant transition, but if that is not the case you can also simply contact your special education administrator and request it at the start of the school year.
      Schedule a special back-to-school meet-and-greet/tour for your child prior to the first day of school
      Many children with special needs need prior exposure to new experiences to help ease their anxiety. If this sounds like your child, we recommend reaching out the school to request a special meeting and/or tour with your child’s LBS and/or classroom teacher. This is especially important if s/he is undergoing a significant transition. However, for many kids, it is necessary even if they are just moving up a grade into a new classroom. Most Illinois school districts implement several days of institute training for school staff prior to the first day of school and it is simple for them to schedule time for your child to visit. As with the back-to school IEP meeting, it is recommended that you include this special meeting/tour in your child’s IEP accommodations in their IEP every year.
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    • Tips and tricks for flying with a baby, from preparation to gear to bring to how to best navigate the airport.
      Traveling can be a pain in the ass. And now, you want to bring along your infant and all the baby paraphernalia that’s transformed your once neat-and-tidy home into something resembling a toy store after a hurricane? I wish you much luck. But while I’m still new at this whole dad thing (not to mention traveling with a baby), I’ve found that with some planning and research, you can steer clear of some of the infant-travel-related headaches, whether your destination is in the States or abroad.
      If traveling internationally, check the U.S. State Department website. Baby in tow or not, it’s good practice to find out if there is a war, conflict or health-related issue where you’re headed. If there are health-related issues, consider immunizations for you and your child(ren). Before we departed to the Dominican Republic, we took our son to Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children’s Hospital travel clinic for his pre-trip shots and travel prescriptions. We couldn’t have been more pleased with our Lurie experience as the travel nurse sat with us for 30-40 minutes and addressed all of our country-specific and travel-related questions.
      Apply for your baby’s passport paperwork well in advance. Check out travel.state.gov for details. You can pay for expedited service if need be.
      Check TSA guidelines. Review the TSA website (TSA.gov) to find out what’s allowed through security (formula, breast milk, etc.), what’s not, and how much of certain products can be taken on board.
      Research child-restraint systems. We didn’t go this route, as we’re going to try to take advantage of as many free flights as we can before our son reaches his second birthday, but if your plan is to take a child safety seat on board, review the FAA website (FAA.gov) first.
      Pack (’N Play) lightly. Our full-size pack ‘n play worked out just fine when we threw it the trunk for our drive to Des Moines, but we didn’t want to drag this along on our flight to the Dominican Republic. We purchased a travel bed that can literally fold up and fit into a backpack. (Be careful with some of the quality of these beds, though: we returned two of them before our trip because they weren’t staying flat on the ground when we placed our son inside.) Another option is a light version of the play yard. The one we bought weighs about half as much as our regular pack ‘n play, and comes with a comfortable shoulder strap for easy carrying. And remember, some resorts/hotels have cribs you can use, so it‘s worth a call ahead.
      Bring a travel stroller. Our everyday stroller is this Eddie Bauer monstrosity, so we needed a more practical option for our Punta Cana trip. We decided on a 10-pound stroller from ZOE that folds up nice and compact, and it can also double as a cart at the airport. What sold me, though, was that for a few more bucks, ZOE sells a stroller backpack that frees up our hands, which we all know is a good thing when baby is around.
      Use a carrier at the airport. You’ll have to take your baby out when you go through security, but it’s still a good idea. Strapping your baby in a carrier (hopefully) keeps them from getting their hands into everything, and keeps your hands free to maneuver your luggage and have quick and easy access to your travel documents.
      Get to the airport safely. If you don’t want to take CTA, think about using a car/taxi service with car seats. We found a number of Chicago-area services (Going Green Limousine, Ride in Bliss, Windy City Limousine, American Coach Limousine, Uncrabby Cabby) that offer full-size cars and/or SUVs with car seats. Expect to pay a little more for the car seat, but with more peace of mind.
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    • Going on a trip with your extended family and kids? Here are 5 tips to make sure the vacation goes smoothly.
      My family of five loves to travel, so we escape Chicago as often as humanly possible. We began our journey vacationing with our extended family after having our third son and officially being outnumbered by our children. Now, five years later, extended family vacations are a regular part of our lives, and we often travel with grandparents from both sides. So, how do we all get along? If you’re the cruise director for your family, listen up! With these tips, paradise is closer than you think.
      Get on the same page 
      Be proactive about sharing travel details in advance by writing the trip details in one mass-email to everyone, so that there won’t be any misunderstandings about the plans. I email the extended family two months before the trip, then again when we’re one month out, and finally the week before blast-off. I make sure I am super clear about what the core itinerary is, while at the same time asking the grandparents if there is anything they’d like to add. It’s so much easier to accommodate everyone with early, consistent communication!
      Set financial expectations 
      Money talk makes most people squirm, so before your big happy clan hits the road together, be sure to agree on who is paying for what. Traveling is expensive, and even the best-laid plans can result in some unanticipated expenses, so the clearer you are about financial obligations, the less stress your group will have when the bill comes.
      Keep it loose 
      Remember why you’re all on vacation together: to sloooow down and be together. If you’re traveling with children, they don’t want to be cooped up on a tour bus traveling for hours to see ancient ruins. Keep the vacation activities centered around meals and local activities. If anyone wants to venture a little further to do some sightseeing, they can do that on their own.
      Have your child’s back 
      Keep the focus — first and foremost — on your child’s needs. He will be overstimulated by this fun, new environment, and it’s your job to make sure he doesn’t go off the deep end. Do your best to maintain your routine feeding and sleeping schedule when you’re away. And, yes, this means standing up to Grandma when she suggests a late dinner at 8pm.
      Have grown-up time-outs 
      Make sure to set aside daily breaks for the grandparents because they’re not used to the extreme pace of daily child rearing. You don’t want to wear them out after only three days — plus, not everyone wants to be together all of the time. Family vacation is not a sprint; slow and steady wins this race.
      As I sit next to my dad on the beach watching the sunset and talking about our many trips together, we agree that family vacations are not all rainbows and unicorns. However, we have figured out the best formula for our family so that we want to keep traveling together again and again.
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    • "Insta-curity": How posting on social media can cause anxiety in new moms
      Beth is a new mom, and she is exhausted. She hasn’t showered in several days. And even though it's well into the morning, Beth hasn’t brushed her teeth yet. Between breastfeeding on a tight schedule — as prescribed by her pediatrician — and worrying about her daughter gaining weight, Beth has had no time for herself. But today, her daughter is one-month old!
      Beth picks out the perfect outfit for her baby. She stages the perfect setting and carefully places her daughter in front of the one-month old sign. She takes several photos and chooses her favorite. She then clicks "post" and waits for her social media community to like and comment.
      [Related: 9 social media rules for first-time parents]
      As the likes and comments stream in, Beth feels a sense of validation. Maybe she's doing this motherhood thing right after all. At least her friends seem to think so by their adoring comments. But just as quickly as the validation comes, it also goes away, and panic and insecurity set in. Why hasn’t her sister-in-law liked her photo yet? Beth knows she is always on Instagram at this time. Does she think Beth is a bad mother? Does she not like the outfit that Beth picked for her daughter? Should Beth have used one of her sister-in-law’s hand-me-downs? Did Beth’s husband share that Beth is really having a difficult time?
      Beth is not alone in her social media “insta-curity.” A growing number of Facebook and Instagram users are mothers. Forty percent of millennial moms have an Instagram account dedicated just for their baby. One study, looking at new parents’ social media use, found that mothers sought external validation through social media posts, comments and likes of their child. This type of social media activity was linked to elevated parenting stress and depressive symptoms for new mothers.
      A related study, examining the connection between social media comparisons and mothers’ parenting behaviors and mental health, found that mothers who frequently compared themselves to others on social media sites felt more depressed, overwhelmed and less competent as parents. An estimated 15-20% of new mothers report experiencing mental health issues during the perinatal and postpartum period. What role does social media play in undermining the confidence and capability of a new parent? Does social media perpetuate perinatal mental health problems, or is it merely a sly accomplice?
      [Related: How unplugging made me happier parent]
      People on social media tend to portray themselves in a highly positive manner. This can be especially true for mothers who feel pressure to be perfect. For those mothers who are struggling, comparing themselves to the picture-perfect idyllic image of motherhood inevitably makes them feel like they’re falling short.
      There are other ways to participate in social media that allow moms to cut themselves some slack. Not every mom on Instagram is perfect. There is a new breed of social media moms that are fighting against the “perfect mother” and instead portraying a more authentic (and messy) version of motherhood — unwashed hair and throw-up stains included. This mom isn’t afraid to admit when she is tired or having a bad day, or that she does not have it all figured out. Additionally, many new parents identify social media as a way to maintain relationships with family and friends and also create a new community, where they connect with other mothers virtually. These connections should help them share support and normalize their personal experience—not make them feel inadequate.
      Internet aside, you can always connect with other new parents in person. Find parenting playgroups, music classes or mom-and-baby exercise classes. Try to expand your community outside of social media and the Internet. Remember, some days are harder and no amount of “likes” or “comments” is going to change that. But you’re doing great.
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    • The keys to a successful family vacation are planning ahead and making sure everyone's needs and interests are taken care of.
      Up to three-quarters of us use the summer season to combine fun and togetherness in a “travel adventure,” as our son describes our family vacations. So start planning your travel adventure now! Planning ahead makes it easier to beat the crowds and reduce trip costs.
      Search for savings. We use Groupon and online resources, including those available through professional and museum memberships, to save money. Our annual trip to the Hesston Steam Museum, and visits to some museums, are less expensive—or even free—this way. Setting up a travel budget leads to a more relaxed vacation for everyone, and the funds to do what you want to do while away.
      Plan your travels with your family’s interests—and their input—in mind. What constitutes fun and adventure for your family? How does each family member define vacation? My dad loved U.S. history. One summer we learned about President Lincoln by visiting Lincoln’s Kentucky birthplace, and then making our way by car through Illinois, with stops at New Salem and Springfield. Staying somewhere with a pool, and including stops at stores featuring regional goods and books, added something extra to satisfy everyone.
      Where will your travel adventure take place? Will you visit a big city, a state capitol, the North Woods, or a small farming community? Find a place that interests you, whether it is “tried and true” or unknown territory. Remember, adventure may be found in an unlikely place. Our son likes trains. While in Iowa we chanced on a local transportation museum with a train layout. One of the engineers was there, and our son was invited behind the scenes to operate the train cars. Adventure, indeed!
      Where will you stay on your travel adventure? Do you enjoy sleeping in a tent, staying in a luxury hotel, or spending the night in a refurbished caboose? Does your family want walking access to your destinations or to public transportation, or prefer waking up to look out the window or tent flap at a beautiful view? Choose accommodations that suit all of your needs. Then your family can relax and focus on enjoying the vacation.
      Will you arrive at your destination by plane, by train, by car, or in another fashion? Train travel gives you the freedom to watch the terrain change, while traveling by plane offers more time at your destination. If traveling by car, a stop every two hours lets everyone stretch their legs, and helps the driver stay alert. When traveling with younger children, more frequent breaks—such as outdoors on a “rails to trails path” or indoors at a play place—help children travel in a more relaxed fashion. Planning interesting rest breaks can make traveling part of the vacation, too.
      AAA notes that in 2016, road trips, national parks and theme parks were the most popular travel choices for Americans. Wherever you go, relax, enjoy each other’s company, and have fun on your travel adventure. 
      Read more...
    • The Wisconsin Dells draw Chicagoans to its water parks every summer. What's the best way to explore the area? Check out these tips from a Chicago mom.
      It’s a widely known fact that Chicagoans LIVE for summer. I mean, isn’t that why we stick around during the insanely long and rough winter? And if you are anything like me and counting down to summer vacation, let me remind you to put a trip to the Wisconsin Dells on your summer bucket list.
      Why do so many Chicago families flock up north every summer? Because the waterpark capital of the world quite literally has it all. As a born and raised Chicagoan I have not only survived the Dells, but also loved each and every trip I’ve taken there…and you can, too.
      Here are my tips for ways to plan the ultimate Wisconsin Dells summer vacation:
      Book your trip EARLY. That way, you have much better pick of lodging and can lock in some discounted rates. Don’t forget that visiting during the week can be cheaper than staying over a weekend.
      Look into non-traditional lodging. Yes, there are some amazing resorts such as the Kalahari, but you can also score some great deals on cabins, condos (Glacier Canyon Lodge is a favorite), and other home rentals using resources such as Airbnb. Not only will your family have more room to spread out, but you will also have your own kitchen so that you can prepare your own meals and avoid crowded restaurants.
      Plan a group trip. Yes, you do run the risk of at least one of you getting lost at some point during your trip, but it is so much more fun to visit the waterparks with a group. That way, parents can actually get a break and either take a plunge down the steepest slide in the park or enjoy a beverage in one of the adults-only hot tubs while someone else trustworthy is on kid duty.
      Get moving! I know it’s hard to be bright eyed and bushy tailed if your kids don’t sleep well when they are away from home, but you want to be one of the first families at the water park if you are looking for a shady spot. And don’t forget to bring some cheap bags, towels, or other clothing to stake your claim on your spot. Keep your valuables at home and take advantage of the lockers available for your electronics.
      Think outside the water park. Yes, the Dells are known for pools but don’t miss out on all of the action going on around Lake Delton. No trip to the Dells is complete without a tour on the original Wisconsin Dells Ducks or a ride around the track at Big Chief Go-Karts. You can also spend the day hiking, biking, swimming, and fishing at Mirror Lake State Park, a 15-minute drive from the Dells.
      Indulge in local cuisine. I’m not saying that you will find a Michelin-starred restaurant at the Dells, but there are great varieties of local beers and cheeses available that make the long drive up North totally worth it.
      Read more...
    • CPS released a plan of action in response to allegations of mishandling of sexual abuse cases in its schools. What do you think of this plan?
      A week ago, the Chicago Tribune broke a story about the lack of response, action and follow-through regarding sexual abuse at Chicago Public Schools. Since this report broke, CPS has taken steps to address the issue, including sending this plan of action to community-based organizations like NPN. 
      We're sharing this here with you so you can be aware of CPS's plan, and to facilitate a discussion about protecting children from abuse. What do you think about this plan of action? Do you think CPS should be doing more? Doing things differently? Or does this seems like an appropriate plan? NPN members can go to this thread on the main discussion forum to discuss the many facets of this issue. 
       

      Read more...
    • Simple ways you can teach your child math skills in everyday activities from Erikson Institute.
      Your preschooler can count to 50, maybe even 100. But does your child know what five means? It turns out that understanding the “fiveness” of five is far more important for a solid foundation in math than the ability to recite a string of numbers in the right order. And you can keep building this foundation all summer long.
      Since 2007, the Erikson Institute’s Early Math Collaborative has been helping teachers discover ways to improve math instruction for young children. Substitute “parents” for “teachers,” and our first “big idea” involves having your young children sort the laundry or the silverware. The big lesson to be learned from chores like these is that any collection can be sorted in more than one way. So while we sort by light versus dark before the wash, we might sort by clothing type — socks, shirts, pants — afterward. All with the same exact items.
      It’s not conventional math. It doesn’t require memorization. But it helps young children understand the concept of a category and gives them experience in creating sets. Because you can’t count apples, for instance, until you’ve figured out which are apples and which are bananas.
      When it comes to counting, it’s one thing to understand that three comes after two and before four. That’s the skill in a “count to 50” task. But what’s more meaningful is to understand that three is one more than two, and one less than four. It’s known as the cardinal meaning of a number. And it’s easier for children to learn when we couple a counting process with a total quantity.
      For example, let’s say there are five stairs leading to your porch. It’s not enough to count “one, two, three, four, five.” To help toddlers quickly pick up the meaning of the numbers, conclude with, “See? There are five stairs.” This ties the sequence to the quantity, giving your child a chance to construct a meaningful understanding of five. Taking this up another level of difficulty would be this scenario: Say the 10 townhomes on your block all look the same and all have five stairs leading to the porch. Now ask your child, if an 11th townhome were to be built, how many stairs do you think it would have? This is pattern recognition.
      What’s so powerful about it is that it enables children to anticipate what comes next. It allows for predictability in kids’ lives. And they love it. It’s why toddlers want the same song sung over and over again and love books that repeat a rhyme but add one new twist on each page. Patterns help kids feel confident and safe because they know what’s going to happen next. And in math, pattern recognition is the first step to algebraic thinking.
      Even when your child is on summer break, the day is full of simple ways that families can inject math into a meaningful activity. Just remember that it’s not just the counting that matters — it’s the patterns and the sets that the numbers create.
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    • How to manage your and your child's emotions about the first summer at overnight camp.
      As a previous overnight summer camp director and parent - I know that kids and parents begin to experience a wide range of emotions leading up to their first overnight camping experience. Hopefully, the predominant feelings are those of excitement, but it’s also natural to be apprehensive and nervous. While it may be challenging to deal with these conflicting emotions, there are several things you can do to manage these emotions and set your child up for a successful and fun summer.
      Do a dry run. Fear of the unknown is one of the biggest worries for children attending camp, so time spent at home “practicing” a typical day at camp may provide some reassurance and self-confidence. For example, have your child practice some of their routines without your assistance, such as getting into pajamas, brushing teeth, or picking out clothes in the morning.
      Practice overnights away. If your child has not slept away from home before, the best thing you can do for them is to arrange sleepovers between now and the beginning of camp. These experiences will stimulate feelings of independence and give your child confidence that they can cope with longer separations from home.
      Talk about your communication plan with your child. Remind them that they may not have access to phones but that they will be able to write letters and that you will be sending them mail. Help them create an address book with everyone’s contact information so that they can keep in touch with family and friends. Packing pre-addressed, stamped envelopes is a great way to ensure that letters get sent!
      Keep familiar faces nearby. Help your child create a little photo album of some of their favorite photos to bring with them. They will be able to show their friends and counselors and tell them all about where they are from!
      Be realistic. Like the rest of life, camp will have high and low moments and your child may have some down moments. Your child should not feel pressured to feel a certain way at camp. Remind them that their main goal should be to have fun, and remind them that there will always be a counselor to talk to if they do ever feel sad.
      Avoid the “get out” clause. DO NOT make promises that imply that you will pick them up if they are sad or want to come home. These statements set your child up for failure and send a message that the only solution to a difficult feeling is to be rescued by you. It undermines your confidence in your child’s ability to cope with adversity.
      As you become anxious, try not to transmit that feeling to your child. Don’t emphasize the fact that you will miss them. Support words like “we will miss you so much” with “but we are so proud of you for trying this new experience.” Kids often internalize their parents’ anxiety and if your child is worried that you will be sad when they are gone, they may not be able to fully enjoy their experience.
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    • Creative solutions for spending time with your kids during the summer between two households, whether as a result of divorce or separation.
      One of the most complicated and nuanced parts of the dissolution of two parents’ relationship, be it through the process of divorce or through a “parentage” action (where parents are not married), is developing a schedule of parenting time where each parent feels like he or she can continue to be a meaningful part of their child’s life notwithstanding the change of circumstances of one household to two.
      Plenty of my clients are dismayed by the thought of not spending their every waking moment with their children (when they are not engaged in school, camp or otherwise social functions or activities) and feel like they are handed a death sentence simply for wanting to alter their relationship with the individual with whom they chose to have children. It is a devastating feeling to know that your child is spending time with the “other parent,” to whom you no longer like, trust or simply feel connected.
      When I am asked to come up with creative solutions to “level the playing field” of parenting time, one of the most accessible solutions is to focus on those two (often two-and-a-half) months of summer vacation that most children enjoy. Parents forget the enormous amount of time children are given each summer to play and relax — time that is ripe for strengthening their bond with their kids, who do not have strict “school night” bedtimes, who can play outside long after dinner is done and who can take vacations without being penalized for missed school days.
      So what does a “creative” summertime parenting schedule look like? While I am often asked about a week-on, week-off schedule as a solution to avoid the ping-pong effect of changing households, the biggest issue that presents is that a child will go seven days without having significant time with the other parent (even if you insert a dinner or two mid-week). Instead, I will recommend to parents a “2-2-3” schedule, which often looks like this: Monday and Tuesday day and overnight with Parent 1, Wednesday and Thursday day and overnight with Parent 2, and alternating weekends from Friday morning through Monday morning.
      This is a win-win for both parents and kids; not only does this type of schedule give each parent the ability to see their child every few days, but children are less stressed when they get to see each parent on a consistent basis. Moreover, with summer schedules allowing for more flexibility for later bedtime routines, no homework and out-of-town travel opportunities, family time becomes quality time.
      While family conflict can be heart-wrenching, parents should not and must not feel hopeless and panicked about not being with their children. With a little creativity and flexibility, stability — even in divided households — can be achieved.
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    • Traveling with a nanny or au pair to watch your kids can be a godsend, but be sure to lay out your expectations before you leave for vacation.
      I must admit: I never thought I would travel with childcare. That was a luxury that never entered my mind until we hosted our first au pair over four years ago. One of the premises of the au pair program is the cultural exchange between the family and au pair so it was a natural fit to let her explore the USA with us. Now, having taken more trips with our au pairs over the years than I can count, I must say it is a huge relief to have an extra set of hands around while navigating the stress of travel with young children.
      This doesn’t necessarily mean you are sipping margaritas at the beach solo, and it does take preparation to be executed well. We found having our au pair with us allowed us to do special activities with each of our children, while not being confined to nap schedules as our au pair could stay with the nappers. Squeezing in a few date nights is a perk, too!
      Here are my best practices for travel with caregivers:
      Set a schedule 
      Explain your plan for the trip as well as the daily schedule while on vacation. Be specific about your caregiver’s schedule and hours expected to work. Let her know of any days off or downtime, and when that will be (and stick to it!).
      Sort out sleeping arrangements 
      Will your caregiver be sharing a room or bathroom with your children? If so, are they expected to wake up with the children in the middle of the night or morning? Will they have their own space where they can go at the end of the day? Whichever you choose, make sure they understand the rooming situation and responsibilities.
      Define responsibilities
      Discuss your expectations for childcare as well as other chores that will need to be done on vacation. Will they only be responsible for playing with and watching the children? Are they also responsible for laundry, meal preparation, clean up, driving? If they will be in charge of the children near water, find out their water safety knowledge and comfort level with children in water.
      Clarify payment 
      Define what compensation they will receive for their time. It is expected that the family pay for the travel and accommodation costs for the sitter. In addition to those expenses, what rate will the sitter receive? Is it an hourly rate while she is “on duty” or will it be a flat rate for the entire vacation?
      Communicate 
      In addition to communicating all of the above expectations before departing, it is important to continue to have open communication while on the trip. Have daily check-ins to go over the schedule for the day and rest of the week. Communicate how they can be most helpful during their hours and what you would like them to prioritize in terms of responsibilities. Most important, tell them how much you appreciate them and point out what they are doing well!
      Following these guidelines will alleviate much of the stress of traveling with children and allow you to enjoy your vacation time together. Happy travels!
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    • A Chicago parent explains how she chose a Chicago preschool for her child and offers her strategies and tips.
      So, you think this fall is the right time to start preschool?
      If your child is three and potty trained, you’re ready to catch a ride on the pre-kindergarten rollercoaster that will decide who your parental friends are, whether or not you should move, where your child will grow up, and who their lifelong friends will be. Yes, it sounds overwhelming, but it’s never too soon to start researching.
      When I thought my first little one was ready, I didn’t have any “mommy friends” to consult. I panicked and started to Google, “What age do kids start preschool?” and was immediately overwhelmed by all the information I was gathering. After a few informal polls at the neighborhood park, I quickly realized every parent of a child my age was just as unprepared as I was. I had to find parents of children who were already in kindergarten to get the data I so badly needed. Through them, I developed a list of questions—all of which, for me at that time, could be answered with a “YES”:
      I have to go back to work. Will I need someone to watch my child all day? Is my child potty trained and able to ask to go to the bathroom when needed? Will my child be comfortable with other adults if I’m not there? Can my child listen, follow directions and handle a structured schedule? Does my child need to be socialized and learn how to play well with others? Another Google search later and I had a list of preschools in my area, and hit the road to check them out. And this was the hardest part: How do you make one of the most important decisions of your child’s formative years and know that you will not regret your decision? Answer: You go with your gut.
      Here is a list of basic questions to ask a preschool provider:
      What are your hours? Do I pay upfront, weekly, etc.? What if I’m late picking up my child? What is the extra fee? What is the ratio of kids to caregivers? What are the children’s ages in each group? Is breakfast served? Snacks? How are allergies handled? How long is nap time? Can we bring our own blanket, toy, etc.? What is the approach to socialization? Playtime? Inside? Outside? Will I be given updates on my child’s progress, how their day was, what they learned/achieved each day? Will I die without seeing every little milestone that will be accomplished when I’m not there? (Just kidding, but I know you were thinking this.) (As for No. 8: Of course you will be OK, and you’ll look back later and wonder what you would have done without so-and-so provider to help you through this portion of your child’s life.)
      Once you have determined who will have the pleasure of being around your child all day while you’re busy at work or wherever you need to be, you can ask for a “playdate” with the provider to let your child have some input. This will help your child to get acquainted with their new home-away-from-home and will help you to feel at ease and know that you are a great parent, and you will survive.
      Nikki Arana is a mother of two boys, ages 7 and 9, who attend St. Stanislaus Kostka Catholic school in West Town. She works at a law firm downtown and her free time is spent as a parent ambassador to help other families learn about their wonderful school.
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    • Potty training regression, or the loss of daytime toileting skills, can be frustrating for kids and parents. A Chicago pediatrician offers ideas on causes and how to deal with it.
      While nighttime control often occurs years later, mastering daytime bladder and bowel control is a process which takes, on average, six months for a child to complete. Urine and stool accidents are common during those months and should be expected.
      Toilet training regression, however, is defined as loss of these daytime skills long after the process is complete. It is understandably frustrating and concerning for parents when their child, several months diaper-free, suddenly refuses to use the toilet, begins having frequent accidents during the day, or develops some other unusual elimination behaviors.
      [Related: Best Chicago playgrounds for the potty-training toddler]
      If these daytime skills were truly mastered before the onset of regression, the first step is to rule out medical causes by meeting with your pediatrician. If the doctor determines there is no physical cause for the regression, emotionally stressful changes in your child’s life should be considered.
      Some common examples include: 
      Fears (monsters, loud flushing noise, falling into the toilet, being sucked down the toilet)  Illness of the child or a family member  Pregnancy or birth of a new sibling   Change in childcare environment  Moving to a new home  Parents’ marriage ending In such situations, it is important to remember that rather than lashing out physically with violence or tantrums, your child has found a relatively healthy way to cope with this stress. Using the following approach, however, you can help your child find even better ways to manage.
      Tell them you’ve noticed the change
      Do this with as much ambivalence in your voice as possible. Shame and guilt will likely be your child’s first reaction to learning their behavior has not gone unnoticed. It is therefore important you remove any hint of judgement from your tone and choice of words.
      Talk to them
      First, explain you aren’t mad at them, and it isn’t their fault. Next, ask if they know why this is happening. Depending on the verbal skills of your child, you may not be in the habit of asking their opinion yet. Even if they don’t have the words to explain what they are feeling, hearing you are interested in what they think is empowering. If they do offer any type of meaningful response, listen carefully to what they say, thank them for telling you, and sympathize with them as much as possible. Tell them you are proud of the good work they have done up to this point and that you know they will do better next time.
      [Related: How to make potty training your toddler fun. Yes, fun.]
      Brainstorm creative solutions alone as parents and also with your child
      Any practical steps to solving the problem are worth trying. Removing fear by making the toileting fun with songs or games. Spend special time together with your child separately from the new baby. Explore the childcare facility bathroom with your child and separately discuss the issues you’re having with their childcare or caregivers. Surround the potty with familiar objects or toys. Positively reinforce successes with sticker charts or other reward systems. If your child contributes any ideas, be certain to try them as well.
      Consider taking a break
      If your creative solutions don’t seem to be working (or, worse: creating stress and anxiety surrounding toileting), consider taking a break and returning to pullups for a few weeks. Sometimes taking a backseat for a bit allows your child to recognize they are responsible for learning this important skill. Encouraging this independence can be liberating for your child and lead to lasting success.
      Read more...
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