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Trending: Gamifying the Domestic LoadThe struggle to balance household and parenting tasks in a partnership and nurture that partnership is a very real one. This survey by the Pew Research Center confirms what a lot of people feel daily. Maybe a card deck can help balance the load? While not new, the Fair Play card deck, an offshoot of the book Fair Play by Eve Rodsky and the Fair Play Institute, pops up in the news from time to time—even mentioned by celebrities—as a tool to help manage parenting and chores. What started as a spreadsheet listing all of the invisible tasks Rodsky managed in her family has become a card deck with 100 household responsibilities that include cues for planning and how to make things happen. Here’s a sample of the cards in the deck. Do any of these surprise you? Bedtime routine for kids Calendar keeper Adult friendships Cash and bills Cleaning Civic engagement and cultural enrichment Dry cleaning Birth control and family planning Gifts (VIPs) Garbage Marriage and romance Weekend plans It’s not a glamorous gift, but I wonder if this card deck could be something to slip into the care baskets or packages we send to the new parents—and maybe even all the parents and couples—in our lives. In Chicago Parenting News: Here are the items that qualify for the back-to-school tax holiday starting August 7. Parents and teachers worked to rescue salvageable books that were found in dumpsters outside of former Acero schools. Chicago is the ninth most expensive commuting city in the country. There’s a new sculpture garden in Englewood on what used to be vacant lots. Parenting IRL: Are Birth Plans Helpful?From our member discussion board: Did you make a birth plan? Did anything actually go to plan? Many folks who chimed in about the merits of a birth plan generally agree that birth plans aren't really helpful or necessary. Others think birth plans can help you think through some important things, like communicating with your partner and considering interventions. Another common thread? More than a birth plan, having a knowledgeable doula present made all the difference. What’s your take? Subscribe to the NPN Weekly to get more parenting news, trends, and tips straight to your inbox! -
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Trending: The Trouble With Trimester ZeroThe three trimesters in a pregnancy are widely accepted, and more people honor the fourth trimester, but have you heard about Trimester Zero? Apparently, a faction of influencers is giving traction to this movement focused around optimizing your body in the three to six months (and maybe even up to a year) pre-pregnancy. For anyone who’s had a baby, the general concept isn’t so far out. Many medical professionals give general recommendations for prepping the body, including taking folic acid and cutting out alcohol. But Trimester Zero’s emphasis on “training” for pregnancy is toward the goal of maximizing your chances of getting pregnant as fast as possible. The stable of “experts” have driven what the Guardian calls preconception as an industry but without the evidence. Advice includes everything from avoiding scented candles and plastic containers to taking a slew of supplements, eating so-called healing diets, and even watching the sun rise. For many, social media is the source for answers pre-pregnancy and beyond instead of a real-life community. This lack of fertility education and communal knowledge sharing might be the more important thing to focus on—and change... In the spirit of championing postpartum support and community for Chicago moms, we’re bringing back our New Moms Group programming in September. Registration’s open right now! ♥️ Please spread the word to your loved ones, friends, and colleagues. In Chicago Parenting News: It’s official; the statewide cellphone ban has been signed into law just in time for the 2027-2028 school year. CPS furloughs are now off the table as the budget discussion continues. The back-to-school tax holiday starts August 7. Milwaukee’s making an appeal to laid-off CPS teachers. Parenting IRL: Do We Need a College Counselor? Readying your college-bound kids for this educational milestone is monumental—and it might be one some folks want assistance with. One NPN member wonders if a college counselor is necessary, as advised by some, and worth the money. This member’s anecdotal experience is that these advisers might be more costly than helpful. What has your experience been? Have you considered a college counselor? If you hired one, how did it go? Subscribe to the NPN Weekly to get more parenting news, trends, and tips straight to your inbox! -
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An Evening with Dr. Dana Suskind In a world increasingly shaped by screens and technology, how do we raise children who are resilient, empathetic, curious, and deeply connected to others? Join renowned author and pediatric physician Dr. Dana Suskind for an inspiring, free evening centered around her newest book, Human Raised. Drawing on research, storytelling, and years of experience working with children and families, Dr. Suskind explores why the most powerful influence on a child’s development is not technology, curriculum, or artificial intelligence — it is human connection. Guests will hear practical insights and hopeful ideas for how families and communities can nurture respectful, compassionate children prepared to thrive in a rapidly changing world. 5:00 PM Cocktails 6:00 PM Program *This event is for adults only This is a free event, but RSVP is required. Please go here to register. Valet is included (free of charge). This is an external partner event. Please contact the organization directly with any questions or concerns: scalabrese@kcmgc.org. -
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Families are invited to join Dr. Dana Suskind for a special interactive afternoon of play at Kohl Children’s Museum, inspired by the themes of her newest book, Human Raised. Centered around human connection, character development and early childhood learning, this family-focused experience will encourage meaningful conversations and shared discovery through play. Throughout the Museum, quotes from Dr. Suskind’s book will prompt reflection and engagement, tying key messages from the book to play in the exhibits and beyond. All regular exhibits will be open for play; Adventures in Art will close at 3 PM. Throughout the afternoon, Dr. Suskind will help welcome families and share brief reflections on the importance of relationships, communication, and connection in a child’s development. The first 100 families to check in will receive a free copy of Human Raised and will also have opportunities to participate in a book signing and photo opportunity with the author. This is a free event, but RSVP is required. Please go here to register. Lot parking available at the Kohls Children's Museum. This is an external partner event. Please contact the organization directly with any questions or concerns: scalabrese@kcmgc.org. -
Parenting IRL: Venmo and Grad Invites? If you have graduates in your family or social circle, you might have a stack of paper grad party invites on your fridge, in your inbox, or all over your social feeds. But do any of these invites/announcements include a Venmo QR code, like one NPN member recently shared? The original poster is more than happy to give a graduation gift but finds the QR code a bit much. Are paper checks too much of a bother? Do kids not know how to deposit physical checks?! QR codes are everywhere, and I guess they’ve made their way to graduation announcements too. What do you think of this move? Is it something your family has done or would consider? Trending: Mommymaxxing or Team Beta MomIf you’re at all active on social media, you don’t have to look far to find examples of Mommymaxxing. It’s the mom version of the Looksmaxxing trend that has young men focused with perfecting the way they look. Mommymaxxing is all about maximizing motherhood. That means "bouncing back" after birth with ease, seamlessly choreographed sleep and after-school routines, and choosing the ideal extracurricular activities for the college prep pipeline. It’s aspirational and appealing content but unrealistic for many. If Mommymaxxing is all about perfectionism, Beta Mom-ing is the exact opposite. It’s laundry and mess everywhere and feeling OK with that and not planning every detail of the day. And you know what else is a hallmark of a Beta Mom? Asking for help from a trusted support network because you know you can’t do it all alone. Parenting labels are meh for many of us. Chances are you don’t fall neatly in either camp. I know I don’t. But one thing I think we can all agree on is that parenting is plain tough, and we could all use a break from expectations and judgment. In Chicago Parenting News:The Chicago Tribune reports that a cellphone ban was approved by Illinois lawmakers and is anticipated for the 2027-2028 school year. School Board campaigning season begins; Axios has your guide. Teens can join the Y for free this summer. WBEZ spoke with three recent Chicago college grads navigating the tough job market. Before You Go ...Join me at Horner Park Sunday, June 14, for a casual playground hang. We’ll have crafts and snacks. Plus, you can earn one month—or up to six months—of free membership. RSVP to let us know you’ll be there! Subscribe to NPN Weekly to get more parenting news, trends, and tips straight to your inbox! -
NPN's annual Online Auction offers great items that Chicago parents want and love, including kids' classes, activities, restaurant gift certificates, massages and access to cool experiences you can't find anywhere else! Start bidding here: https://npnparents.betterworld.org/auctions/2026 🌟 There will NOT be a second-chance auction this year so bid while you can to avoid missing out on a great deal! With the proceeds from our auction, NPN, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit, will be able to continue to provide support and resources designed to solve the challenges of parenting in Chicago. Bidding closes at 10pm on Sunday, March 15th. Questions? Email amyj@npnparents.org Want to donate an item, gift certificate, or experience? Donate here.
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A special Mother’s Day Brunch at Brazil Express Grill. A special celebration just for moms. This event is for moms only. The fee to attend is $25 per person and RSVP is required, please go here to register. Free lot parking available. This is an external partner event. Please contact the organization directly with any questions or concerns: noapologyeventschi@gmail.com. -
What does resistance look like? A member posted this question to the NPN discussion forum in January and it sparked something in me. That night, while I sat in the car during my son’s soccer practice, I banged out this essay, below. Although we’re publishing it several months later, I think it’s still relevant. ------------------------ As a person, neighbor, friend, mother, and the director of an inclusive organization that works to make parenting in Chicago easier, I am concerned about the treatment of immigrants, the elimination of DEI programs, threats to public education, and threats to federally-funded programs that Chicago families rely on, and that families managing developmental disabilities desperately need. NPN members have a range of opinions on current events. Most NPN members share my concerns, and many are finding ways to support populations that are especially vulnerable right now. I’ve included their ideas here for you. Would you or are you doing any of these things? Visit the Holocaust Museum Support programming and activities surrounding Juneteenth, Martin Luther King Jr. Day, Black History Month, Holocaust Days of Remembrance and Pride Month Donate to ACLU and Planned Parenthood Support public broadcasting - NPR, PBS, WBEZ, WTTW Quit Facebook, Instagram (Meta), and X Stop using Amazon Prime and use Costco instead Read AP News, BBC News for objectivity Purchase Plan B Vote Subscribe to a local paper and Block Club Chicago Sign up to receive "daily actions" from Indivisible Follow Rebecca Solnit on Bluesky Make contributions to local orgs that support the trans community (e.g., Brave Space Alliance, Center on Halsted, Howard Brown Health, TransLife Care) Be the kindest and most helpful citizens we can be Gather with friends and like minded people Learn how to respond to those who try to persuade you of MAGA virtues Amplify facts on social media as you are willing Submit FOIA requests for whatever you’re concerned about Listening to or reading Ezra Klein's podcast/NYTimes article- Don't Believe Him https://www.nytimes.com/2025/02/02/opinion/ezra-klein-podcast-trump-column-read.html I will add that I’m paying attention to the work of advocacy organizations Start Early, The Arc of Illinois and others to stay informed and see how I can help. What would you add? We’d love to hear your suggestions. However you are feeling these days, be kind to each other and take good care. -
NPN's annual Online Auction offers great items that Chicago parents want and love, including kids' classes, activities, restaurant gift certificates, massages and access to cool experiences you can't find anywhere else! Start bidding here: https://npnparents.betterworld.org/auctions/2025 🌟 There will NOT be a second-chance auction this year so bid while you can to avoid missing out on a great deal! With the proceeds from our auction, NPN, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit, will be able to continue to provide support and resources designed to solve the challenges of parenting in Chicago. Bidding closes at 10pm on Sunday, March 16th. Questions? Email amyj@npnparents.org Want to donate an item, gift certificate, or experience? Donate here.
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This is an opportunity to get together and network with other kind humans (many who are business owners) who want to make a difference in a laid-back and positive space (bring plenty of business cards!). You'll also get a visibility refresh, with an updated headshot/portrait (not the boring, corporate type of headshot either!). And (as if it couldn’t get any better) your registration directly contributes to the greater good of humanity. The registration fee is a suggested donation of $50 and 100% goes to a cause contributing to the greater good. Registration is required - there is a maximum number so that it remains a positive, easy-going experience for all. Here is the link to learn more and to register: https://maijamartinphotography.com/headshots-and-humanity/. The exact location of this event will be sent to you upon registration. Street parking is available. Or only a five-minute walk from the Blue Line. This is an external partner event. Please contact the organization directly with any questions or concerns: maija@maijamartinphotography.com. -
Samantha Alloway, Executive Director of The Arc of Illinois talks with Amy about Medicaid. We discuss what it is, what it provides, and who uses it. Parents might be surprised to learn that Medicaid benefits families at all income levels and it makes disability services possible in Illinois. Hear about what services will be lost and who will be at risk if Medicaid funding is cut. Learn how to advocate for full funding and how you can support your neighbors with intellectual and developmental disabilities in your daily life. Important links: The Arc of Illinois Take Action and Contact Your Legislators Share Your Medicaid Story Plus, ask specific questions about Medicaid to The Arc of Illinois' Director of Family to Family Health Information Center here: Susan@thearcofil.org See also: NPN's Developmental Differences Resource Fair - coming up April 27, 2025! NPN's Developmental Differences Resource Directory NPN's Developmental Differences Parent Support Group This recording is the ninth episode of NPN's podcast, Chicago Style Parenting. It was published on 2/13/25. -
You've achieved a lot of Maslow's Pyramid for your kiddos: Housed, check Eating, check Sleeping – well, mostly check. But what are the money moves you need to make sure that you're taking care of their financial needs and your financial needs, and protecting the new layers of risk that exist in your life? Join us for a lively discussion of five important money moves to make when your children are young, including: Saving for college and saving for retirement, at the same time Updating your insurance (and not get scammed in the process) Preparing the documents that would protect your family if something happened to you (or both of you) Whether you'd rather step on loose Lego than think about your retirement accounts or whether that piggy bank in "Toy Story" has nothing on you, we welcome you to join us for our 30 minute presentation followed by open Q&A. We also warmly welcome attendees who don't have children today but are gathering information for future decisions. Interested in the content but can’t make this time? Register for this online webinar to receive a recording and a copy of the handouts afterwards. This is a free, online event, but RSVP is required. Please go here to register. Please go here for more information and disclosures. This is an external partner event. Please contact the organization directly with any questions or concerns: categoebel@gmail.com.
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Keisha is a mom of two, therapist, coach, activist, parent, and the founder of radicallyBLended Services, PLLC. A few months ago, Keisha spoke with us on about raising a queer child in Chicago. We’re sharing some of our conversation here. This conversation has been edited for clarity and length. Listen to the full conversation on NPN’s podcast, Chicago Style Parenting. How can parents create a safe environment for our children to talk to us about anything? First, I'll say that a lot of the tips that I'm going to share I’ve learned through the relationship I have with my oldest child who identifies as transmasculine, born a girl. Even though I have years of professional experience working with all types of people, listening to my child has been the greatest start. Have open communication and pay attention to body language, listen for inflections. They could say one thing, but their body is doing another. For example, you can say, “Is it okay if I ask you, you’re fidgeting, but you're telling me you're okay?” Respect their privacy. Sharing whatever they share with you with random people, even a family member, is to say, “I don't value your privacy. I don't value your sense of safety with me.” Give them space to share their experience without adding your own. When we respond with something like, “Oh, I know that experience. Let me tell you about the time I went through this,” we are saying that their experience is not that valuable. Instead ask them, “What is it that I can provide to you?” What should a parent do when their child comes out to them or they suspect that their child is queer? Congratulate them on sharing this with you. It took a lot of bravery. Bring in your community to support you on this. I'm very much an ally, but I still felt very inexperienced in this area of parenting, so leaning on my support system and asking them to be supportive of my child was really helpful. Check in with your partner about their feelings. You shouldn’t go through this alone just like your child shouldn’t go through it alone. You need support too. Ask your child how you can support them. How can parents ensure that their child feels safe outside of the home? Be mindful of the friends that they're around and if they are allies or not. Communicate with your school. Reach out to the support systems within the school to help advocate for your child's safety. Talk with your child daily. Notice their demeanor when they come home. Seek out resources that help you understand what your child needs. How can parents advocate for their child at school? Institutions respond very quickly to documentation. If you write an email to the administrator about something that is going on, include dates and times. Understand your rights. When you can, point to a page in the school code of conduct that is relevant. When you send emails, cc whoever is valuable for that email. It ensures that everyone who is involved has the same information. Use soft language like, “I mean no harm, but this is my child, and I'm going to advocate for them. I trust your judgment as leader of this school to do what's right, and the right thing to do is in your school code of conduct. So I would like for you to do that.” Find someone who is a good balance and can help. If you're hot headed, reach out to someone who is calm. Have them read the email before you send it. If you're someone who has a hard time speaking up, reach out to someone who can help you speak up. What resources do you suggest for parents? There's so many organizations within the city that you can be a part of to volunteer your time or learn from. NPN has great resources. I've seen a lot of resources in Chicago Parent leading up to Pride month. Here are some other resources that are helpful. Resources within Chicago Public Schools The Trevor Project Gay Straight Alliance (GSA) Howard Brown Health Center on Halsted Good Kids Mad City These resources are for any adult who wants to be an ally. I'm sure there's a young person that would benefit from just knowing someone like you cares and really wants to impact change. I also want to share that my husband, our children, and I will each be sharing our wisdom and well read knowledge on topics we are passionate about on our new podcast, The radicalBLend Podcast which launches Thursday, February 6th on Spotify. Thank you, Keisha! -
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You've achieved a lot of Maslow's Pyramid for your kiddos: • Housed, check • Eating, check • Sleeping – well, mostly check. But what are the money moves you need to make sure that you're taking care of their financial needs and your financial needs, and protecting the new layers of risk that exist in your life? Join us for a lively discussion of five important money moves to make when your children are young, including: • Saving for college and saving for retirement, at the same time • Updating your insurance (and not get scammed in the process) • Preparing the documents that would protect your family if something happened to you (or both of you) Whether you'd rather step on loose Lego than think about your retirement accounts or whether that piggy bank in "Toy Story" has nothing on you, we welcome you to join us for our 30-minute presentation followed by open Q&A. We also warmly welcome attendees who don't have children today but are gathering information for future decisions. Interested in the content but can’t make it this time? Register for this online webinar to receive a recording and a copy of the handouts afterward. Please go here for more information and disclosures. There is no charge for this online seminar, but RSVP is required. Please go here to register. This is an external partner event. Please contact the organization directly with any questions or concerns: categoebel@gmail.com -
This is a commentary article from Crain's Chicago Business written by NPN's Executive Director, Amy Johnson. --------------- The recent resignation of every member of Chicago’s Board of Education, three weeks after CPS unveiled its new five-year strategic plan, underscores the challenges that many Chicago parents face when navigating their child’s public school education. A strategic plan should provide an agreed-upon path to reach goals that the majority of stakeholders believe in. Such stability has been hard to find in Chicago schools, and parents are concerned. In conversations I have with parents across the city, whose children attend all types of schools, they are concerned about the instability of the district. Among other concerns, the new five-year plan has ramped up parents’ conversations about selective enrollment schools, magnet schools and charters. Although parents agree with providing greater support to neighborhood schools, particularly those in underserved communities, many wonder if that priority will result in disinvestment of schools that are currently thriving. Fears over the future of selective enrollment, magnet and charter schools may be unfounded. After all, the CPS five-year strategic plan doesn’t explicitly call for eliminating them. However, in a system that is filled with surprises, parents look for clues about what comes next, and they see warning signs. They point to the ongoing lack of busing for magnet schools, the new funding formula tied to CPS' Opportunity Index and Mayor Brandon Johnson’s strong focus on bolstering neighborhood schools. To some parents navigating the current erratic environment, these signals suggest that selective enrollment and magnet schools may indeed be at risk. Overall, the five-year plan has been overshadowed by other troubles. Unfortunately, it may seem pointless to worry about the strategic plan when the people who approved it have all resigned. Parents are baffled by this development and embarrassed to see it in the national news. They wonder how it will impact the city and their children’s education. Adding to parents' unease is Mayor Johnson’s proposal for a massive loan. Parents are worried about CPS' ability to repay it, leaving the future of their kids' education in even more uncertainty. Parents understand that disruptions happen occasionally. Many say that their frustrations with the district are small compared to the quality of their child’s education. That has been my experience as well. Still, I wonder, do parents have the stamina to keep hanging on amid so much uncertainty? I’ve gritted my teeth through dozens of smaller unknowns over the years. I’ve waited for preschool offers, entertained my kids during two teacher strikes, plodded through dire budget scenarios at Local School Council meetings, fretted over the cleanliness of schools when those services were contracted out, watched my kids languish during online learning and listened to mayors make promises about public education that they would not keep. I’ve talked with parents who were prepping for IEP meetings, adjusting 504 plans and waiting for services, all hoping for the best, never knowing what was next. It’s possible to have a great experience in CPS, but it’s filled with quandaries big and small. The new five-year strategic plan lays out CPS’ priorities clearly, although parents are concerned about exactly how CPS will implement them. Unfortunately, the plan is overshadowed by the lack of funds to execute it and the upheaval of the Board of Education. Mayor Johnson seems to feel that he needs to shake up CPS by creating chaos. I want Mayor Johnson to know that many parents voted for him because they thought that along with positive change, he would bring stability to the district. Unfortunately, right now we have chaos. Mayor Johnson needs to find a way to implement his vision without embracing so much disarray. To truly support families, he needs to calm this storm. -
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Summer Tuesdays come alive on the Museum of Contemporary Art's terrace with free concerts highlighting artists from Chicago’s internationally renowned music community. Enjoy live music while relaxing on the lawn with your own picnic, or savor snacks and drinks available for purchase. Then head inside to catch the MCA’s summer exhibitions—we’re open late on Tuesdays and free for Illinois residents. This is a repeating event, with free Tuesday concerts through August 27, 2024 No RSVP required, but please go here for further information. The parking garage is located on Chicago Avenue just west of Fairbanks Court and adjacent to the museum. The garage does not provide direct access to the museum. When you exit the garage, simply turn right and walk west up Chicago Avenue. Our entrances face Mies Van Der Rohe Way. This is an external partner event. Please contact the organization directly with any questions or concerns: sypervaiz@mcachicago.org. -
This is an excerpt from the Chicago Tribune's latest column, Kids like to swear. Do I blame Olivia Rodrigo? Or do I blame myself?, written by Christopher Borrelli. This column features a quote from NPN's Executive Director, Amy Johnson. I turned to the parent next to me and asked what she was going to do about all the, you know … I didn’t want to say it. The what, the parent asked. All of the swearing, the F-bombs and such, I said. This was several weeks ago, at the United Center, where Olivia Rodrigo was playing the second of two shows. Soon, if her new album, “Guts,” was any indication, she would be singing F-words and S-words and lots of other B(ad)-words, loudly and prolifically, and to judge by the lines to get in, she would be singing them to many, many children, middle school-aged and younger. Which meant, of course, thousands of young children shouting back naughty, naughty words. I wasn’t clutching my pearls in horror. But I was wondering: Have we all decided — you, me, Olivia, Beyoncé, Taylor Swift — that young children can swear now? Kim Vanhyning, the parent beside me, from the village of Channahon near Joliet, was attending with her two children, ages 9 and 12, and their grandmother Dorothy, who whispered: The kids recently lost their 7-year-old brother to cancer; they had shirts made that read “(Expletive) Cancer.” They knew swear words more intimately than they liked. And yet, Kim said, for tonight, “the rule is: Sing the swear words, but only tonight.” At their age, I would have felt weird swearing in front of my mom... -
‘Twas the Night Before… is Cirque du Soleil’s first holiday show, based on the classic poem “A Visit from Saint Nicholas” by Clement Clarke Moore. With something for everyone in the family to enjoy, 'Twas the Night Before… is the perfect show to introduce the incredible world of Cirque du Soleil to the next generation of theatergoers. This dazzling production, inspired by the joy of giving and the wonder of the holiday season, promises to spark lasting memories in the hearts of children young and old this holiday season. Whether five, 50, or 95 years old, audiences will surely be wowed by the amazing acrobatics and heart-warming story. 'Twas the Night Before… runs from 12/7 - 12/28. Purchase tickets here: https://www.cirquedusoleil.com/twas-the-night-before This is an external partner event. Please get in touch with the organization directly with any questions.
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How do Elementary and Middle Schools Provide and Inclusive Environment for all Students? A healthy, diverse and inclusive classroom environment can allow every student to thrive. Children should be given the opportunity to learn free from discrimination and feel comfortable expressing their identities within their classroom and school community. Parents will learn what practical steps schools take to build a welcoming environment for all students including differing cultures, gender identities and learning differences. Schools will share why creating an inclusive and diverse community is important for all students and families and what they are doing inside the classroom and with families to support these principles. Our panel of speakers will include representatives from: Bennett Day School Francis W. Parker School The Frances Xavier Warde School North Park Elementary School -
As parents, it's our job to do everything we can to make our children feel safe and secure. So it's only natural to default to avoiding topics that may frighten, concern, or cause panic in our children. But what should you do when the topic impacts you directly because of your religion or beliefs or when the topic feels unavoidable due to news and social media coverage? Ever since October 7th, many families (including my own) have been torn on how to answer this question. So, I compiled expert advice from trusted sources on how to best navigate these difficult conversations with their children in this age-by-age guide. Tip 1: TAKE INITIATIVE Don't wait for your child to ask you about it. Not all children will start a conversation or ask questions about what's going on and may instead choose to rely on information from their peers or social media. In order to ensure that your children are receiving accurate information, it's important to take the lead. Waheeda Saif, a program coordinator at Riverside Trauma Center in Massachusetts suggests using open-ended questions to start a conversation: "'Have you heard what's been going on in the world?' 'Have you heard anything about what's going on in Israel and Palestine?' And just see what they say, and take it from there," she said during a conversation with NPR. Children of all ages deserve a conversation — even those without loved ones who live in Israel or Gaza. Tip 2: LEAD WITH EMPATHY, NOT POLITICS Regardless of what you believe, we can all agree that everyone has a right to life. While this seems like a known fact, it's important to start here. According to Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health’s Claude Bruderlein, leading with empathy in these discussions will help dissociate ourselves from categories like race, nationality, and religion, which can become divisive. “The first, more sensitive step is really to take a stand that everybody has a right to life and dignity, regardless of their nationality, regardless of their religion, regardless of their gender and age,” Bruderlein told The Boston Globe. Tip 3: IT'S OKAY TO NOT HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS It can feel impossible to answer all of the questions that may pop up during your chat but it's important to remember that you don't have to have all of the answers and that you are not expected to turn into a historian or political scientist overnight. Often children just want to better understand why and how people can be so cruel to one another and as difficult as it can be to explain, it's okay to redirect them towards believing in the possibility of peace and coexistence. Allow them to lead by asking them how they can improve the immediate world around them by being kind to others. Tip 4: CHECK IN WITH YOURSELF Protecting your mental health at this time is vital. Family clinical psychologist Dr. Jennifer Hartstein, recommends that you "...check in with how you are doing, as well, to ensure that you are not flooding your own nervous system...be mindful of how you are feeling so that you can be more present for you children." How to Explain the Israel-Hamas War Age-By-Age *Source, Parents.com PRESCHOOL Many experts agree that discussing the war with your preschooler is not necessary UNLESS they ask you about it or see it on the news. You want to avoid dismissing them because of their age while keeping the topic age-appropriate by using words and situations that they can relate to. Leading the conversation with statements about people hurting each other and expressing that it is never okay to hurt someone else is an easy way to start. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL Keeping things simple with this age group is best as well. You can begin by showing them a map of where the conflict is taking place, discussing why people may be sad or upset and being direct about what it means to be at war. MIDDLE SCHOOL Once social media has entered the chat, the discussion needs to be dialed up a bit. It's important to help your middle schooler realize how to spot fake news and how to fact-check information that they may find on the internet. For this age group, it's important to let them lead the conversation. You can do this by asking questions to see what they already know and to help determine how they may already feel about it. Respect their opinion while introducing them to and educating them on the history of the conflict. If you don't know it, this is a great opportunity to learn together. HIGH SCHOOL Helping your high schooler learn to discern fact from fiction is key. Help them identify and follow reputable, non-biased sources that you know and trust to try to help beat the algorithm of content that is designed to spark an emotional reaction. Help them understand the importance of being mindful of their mental health. Scrolling social media and seeing photos and videos of death and violence can be traumatic. According to reports, Israeli and Jewish schools in the U.S. have even urged parents to delete social media apps from their children's phones to shield them from seeing any purported hostage videos from Hamas. Deleting social media from their phone may seem extreme so it's important to remind them to take breaks from social media when they feel overwhelmed with any content they may see and to also report the content on social media to keep it out of their feed. A major part of keeping our children as safe as possible is to make sure that they are aware of what is going on around them. I hope these tips help prepare you to do just that. 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In this video, you will meet organizations that are working to reduce gun violence in Chicago and beyond. Learn about the work they do and how you can support their efforts. You will leave this session informed and inspired! Our esteemed panelists are: Jenny Anselmo, Director of Data and Tech Operations at Chicago Cred Natalie Kaplan, Communications Lead for Moms Demand Action Jose Abonce, Community Engagement Specialist for the Chicago Neighborhood Policing Initiative This video was recorded live on 7/24/23. -
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Meet organizations that are working to reduce gun violence in Chicago and beyond. Learn about the work they do and how you can support their efforts. There will be time for questions and answers at the end. You will leave this session informed and inspired! Our esteemed panelists are: Jenny Anselmo, Director of Data and Tech Operations at Chicago Cred Natalie Kaplan, Communications Lead for Moms Demand Action, Lincoln Square Jose Abonce, Community Engagement Specialist for the Chicago Neighborhood Policing Initiative This panel discussion will happen over Zoom. The link will be sent to you the morning of the event. Stay tuned for more information. Share this with a friend! -
As a mom to a boisterous four-year-old girl, I am always looking for ways to entertain her and keep her busy. That's why I decided to take advantage of the opportunity to take my daughter, Clarke, to see The Nutcracker for the very first time this year. Clarke has been captivated recently with dance and gymnastics - so I figured an opportunity to take her to see the greatest holiday show ever would be as magical for her as it would be for me! Growing up, I was the girl that always dreamt of going to fancy shows and getting dolled up to go out with my mother. However, with two busy working parents and four other siblings, there was always either a shortage of time or money which meant no ballet performances for me; the closest I would get would be to watch a performance on television. So, once the ticket notification hit my inbox, I was overjoyed! We were going to see The Nutcracker for the first time ever!! In all of my excitement, I ignored warnings that my daughter might be too young to admire the amazing skills of the dancers or to be truly interested in a performance without words or animation - but as we got closer to our performance date, I began to worry about her attention span and a little bit of everything else. Will our seats be close enough for her to see what's actually going on? Will she want to talk the entire time? Will the people near us be patient and understanding if (when) she does talk the entire time?? Will other kids her age even be there??? Alas, our performance date arrived, here's how it went and how I did my best to prepare her. Hours before the ballet: The afternoon leading up to the ballet, we talked about how ballerinas can be girls and boys and how they study dance and practice for years to take part in performances. We also watched a few clips from a YouTube video on the work that goes on behind-the-scenes to prepare for The Nutcracker performance. Personally, I watched a video about the history of The Nutcracker. (Did you know that it was originally written in 1891?!) I didn't set out to watch this video on my own but my daughter was not at all interested in this content. On the way to the ballet: On the way to the ballet, we listened to the famous Tchaikovsky tunes from The Nutcracker while I called out different melodies that I hoped she'd be able to recognize later. During the ballet: After struggling to find parking, we ended up arriving 8 minutes late and had to sit in the late section for the first act. This was the roughest part of the experience for Clarke. She kept asking questions about why the dancers were so far away and trying to rock around in her seat to peer a tiny bit closer at the action on stage. I silently counted down until the conclusion of the first act so we could move to our actual seats. After intermission, a snack, and a bio break - we finally settled into our seats and enjoyed a much closer view. To my delight, we sat next to a five-year-old girl that was also there for her first show with her mom. Her mother and I exchanged smiles of support as the lights dimmed for the final act. Much to my surprise, Clarke was completely enthralled! She was focused in and amazed at the movements. She recognized many of the songs we'd listened to on the way there and she giggled along during the hilarious moments and clapped loudly at the end. I'm pretty sure I sprained a cheek muscle from smiling ear-to-ear for 45 minutes straight. Afterwards: For about a week, our kitchen floors received a complimentary wax as a result of all of the spinning and gliding from Clarke and her fuzziest socks. She was going to be a ballerina, she exclaimed! The kind that dances with nuts. We definitely just started a new tradition in our home. I cannot wait to take her back next year and to personally experience the magic again, myself. The Joffrey Ballet’s “Nutcracker” runs through late December at the Lyric Opera House. A very special thank you to The Silverman Group for providing complimentary tickets and making our dreams come true! -
When faced with a challenge, I often think, “Let it be an adventure." Well, as 2020 began, my sister and I faced the adventure of preparing our parents' home for sale. We had lost our Mother in March 2019 to metastatic breast cancer. Then, March 2020 brought in an additional challenge: a pandemic. So my sister and I worked, masked, in different parts of the house. We practiced social distancing on breaks outdoors in lawn chairs, chatting and snacking. While the pandemic complicated the process of sorting through family heirlooms, it gave my sister and I time to reflect on our parents' lives, and strengthened our bond. [Related: COVID and PTSD: How to handle the whirlwind of emotions] The pandemic brought new words and phrases into our vocabulary, such as PPE and positivity rate. My husband, son, and I withdrew into our “pod” as the pandemic evolved. Our son finished up his lessons at a local art gallery; creating works of art now gives him solace when confined indoors. We had fun choosing patterns for our fabric masks, and wore them everywhere. We still use fabric masks outdoors, and KN95s indoors. My son has decided to wear his KN95 at school, despite the recent change in the school masking rules, “to be safe,” noting: ”I don't want to be sick.” As we adjusted to the pandemic lifestyle, we experienced an unexpected loss. Our guinea pig, Frankie, passed away. We grieved, missing her presence, and later adopted a guinea pig mother, Mimi, and daughter, Minnie, in need of a home. As someone classified as “immunocompromised,” I was eager to be vaccinated. A connection found me a vaccination appointment, and I was fully vaccinated by March 2021. My husband followed suit by April 2021, and our son prior to starting school that fall. As we adjusted to life as a pod, my son enthusiastically observed, “We're like pioneers." The basement, with standing desk and screen, became a workplace for my husband; my desk became part of a 7th grade online classroom. My son and I started school days outdoors, enjoying the exercise, the passing trains, and the chickens in a backyard facing a local park's walking path. I gladly shed the pounds that I had gained during my Mom's illness. [Related: Reflecting on COVID: Being with my family 24/7 has strengthened us in a way that I never could’ve imagined] As 8th grade started, I became my son's aide. He detested Zoom learning and required much encouragement and support. “I miss my friends, and seeing them at lunch!” he said often. When some students returned to school for the last quarter of 8th grade, he eagerly joined them. Our house wore many hats: serving as school, workplace, and our home, simultaneously. My husband, working in Information Technology, elected to work solely at home as the pandemic continued. His presence has been a blessing in many ways. I was diagnosed with a salivary gland infection in fall 2020, then rediagnosed as a cancerous tumor by summer 2021. Surgery — followed by seven weeks of daily radiation treatments and weekly chemotherapy — wrapped up in early December. My husband has been ”holding down the fort” during my treatment, and has been woven into the fabric of our daily life. I am thankful for the supportive texts, calls, and prayers across the U.S. which “hold me in the light," and for my doctor's recommendation that I prepare for surgery by exercising. I had been walking a 5K most days and eating well, which gave me the stamina to walk from Randolph and Michigan to the Northwestern hospital campus daily for treatment. My ability to exercise kept my morale up. Post-treatment, I was told I couldn't be indoors or eat with those outside my pod. How, then, to spend the holiday with my extended family members? The warm weather let us exchange gifts Christmas Day outdoors, and make Christmas memories despite the circumstances. As we move through 2022, I recuperate and regain energy. Our house still serves as our home base and a workplace, and the study's role alternates as I share the room part-time with my son. I'm realizing that my biggest challenge is finding a private spot in the house for both my daily tasks and quiet reflection. We are pioneers indeed. As my son says when our vacations end, “This has been an excellent family adventure”. The adventure continues… -
I had Omicron on the day I was asked if I had any interest in writing an article about being "over" COVID. I quickly said yes, as this was our second round with COVID in our small four-person family, and I was feeling very over all of it. My daughter was the first to have symptoms. I offered to sleep with her and be the first parent to be exposed, knowing that my husband would soon follow. She had just turned 5 and was about to get her vaccine…more on that later. Anyway, I knew I would be next, and then my husband. [Related: A child therapist admits to committing these 10 COVID-19 parenting fails] My son, however, was the last man standing again (he was the first time around, too), without any symptoms and continually testing negative on both exposures. He’s seven. At some point, while masked and standing from afar, I tried to teach him how to make a quesadilla. His reply: “This sucks. Can someone just breathe on me so that I can get it over with and cuddle?” I know that we are not the only family that has tried to quarantine in the same house away from other family members. It seems futile and like we should all embrace the suck and get it over with all at once vs. one at a time. I guess that is another sign: I’m over it! The first time was scary, as it was four months into the pandemic, and both my husband and I were working in the trenches with people struggling and severely affected by COVID. Vaccines had not yet been created, and everything felt ominous and unknown. After that first bout with COVID, we found our way back to “normal” — if there even is such a thing. We found a way to see family and travel safely within our “pod." (Another thing I’m over are these new terms that flow like water and are now as common as “LOL": pod, pivot, resilience, quarantine, virtual learning, social distancing…the list goes on.) But this time, it was different. It had been two-and-a-half years since we had seen my side of the family in California — for many reasons, but mostly because my parents don’t love science and didn’t want the vaccine. After many conversations about how to travel home during the holidays and remain safe, we came up with a game plan. For instance, this even meant not seeing my Uncle Ralph, who's 80, because he wouldn’t get the vaccine or stop frequenting casinos. The risk would be too high for us, leaving us judged by many. [Related: From slow to go! Balancing life post-pandemic] We survived 10 days in California, where people felt like masks were optional and that we were the crazy ones, living in fear. I have always operated from a science and intuition approach, but to each their own opinion. We took educated risks and felt good about our trip. Back home a few weeks later, it was my daughter's fifth birthday. Everyone had canceled because the numbers were too high, so that only left our immediate family, her aunt, and her grammy. It wouldn’t be the fifth birthday of her dreams, but it would be as fun as we could make it…except that our fully-vaccinated and boostered family brought us Omicron. Thankfully we all had mild symptoms and got through it relatively quickly. Thank you science, and God, and all my friends who knew we needed a meal or cinnamon rolls. Thank goodness we got over it. This “over it” feeling continues as I work every single day trying to help others move through it. As a therapist, I study a topic of interest or a topic that has impacted us at one time or another and use that information to help others. This is the hardest time to be a therapist because we are living the trauma with our clients. We are suggesting to do things that we think will help, but that we can’t find the energy to do ourselves. We are listening and caring more than ever for the doctors and nurses on the frontlines, knowing that this virus will remain in our field for so many years to come. The other day my son wanted to go to the grocery store with me, and I quickly said yes. At the store, he asked if he could eat some raspberries out of the clam shell, “like the good ol’ days.” I said yes to the unwashed raspberries, so long as he ate them under his mask. I continued about my shopping, but when I turned around to look at him, there were tears running down his face. My first response was, ”Did you bite your tongue?" He said, “Mommy, I don’t remember the good ol’ days. I don’t remember not wearing a mask to the store.” We both cried a little bit. He asked more questions: "When will this end? Will we ever go to the store or school without a mask?” This conversation broke my heart. A quarter of his life has been living with COVID. It has impacted every year of his elementary school experience so far. I realized here in this moment it wasn’t just me that was over it; we are over it. All of us. For the last two years, I have been working overtime at both work and mom life. I have been trying to be more engaging, more crafty, more fun, more adventurous, more everything by redefining adventure. None of it matters on days when you just need to say, “I’m over it!” It’s okay to just be done and to say it out loud. Many famous psychologists say that by stating your feelings, you can move them in your brain to be able to better process them in your body. I’m writing this to encourage all of us to speak our truth on our toughest days, and to allow our kiddos to do the same.
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