Jump to content

  • Articles Directory

    • I thought that just by telling my children a different message than the one I got growing up, that things would be different for them
      One night my family was standing around the kitchen island talking, and my 15-year-old daughter casually said, “I know: Mom basically has an eating disorder.”
      Excuse me? I do not have an eating disorder. I am an extremely healthy 49 year-old. I have done CrossFit-style workouts for the last 10 years, and as a result I’m in good shape. I went on a rigorous diet five years ago that I’ve never really stopped, and as part of that I weigh my portions, eat lots of protein and vegetables, eat very little fat and allow myself a “treat” of some sort of moderate portion of a carbohydrate at dinnertime. I never snack, I never let myself eat things that I want to eat, I never let myself eat as much as I’d like to eat, and I never eat when I’m hungry.
      Does that behavior constitute an eating disorder? The answer to that question doesn’t really matter. What matters is that I thought I was setting an excellent example of healthy eating, and my daughter thinks I have an eating disorder. This is not the first time as a parent that I thought I was setting a shining example but found out I was setting a sh*tty one, instead.
      [Related: Moms, you're the key to your daughters' positive body images]
      I talk a lot about “healthy eating habits” in my house, like eating lots of fruits and vegetables, eating balanced portions, and not eating too many sweets. But when I asked my daughter more about her comment, she said, “I think that all of this 'healthy food talk' is more about how you look than actually being healthy.”
      Ouch.
      As I thought about what she said, I became confused. Isn’t monitoring and limiting my food intake what I’m supposed to be doing? Doesn’t healthy behavior involve controlling your portions and limiting the amount of unhealthy food that you eat? Isn’t it our society that has a disordered relationship with food by making large portions and salty, sugary food so readily available? It’s not me; it’s society! I’m the one who’s normal! Right?
      [Related: The social media mom: How social media can influence the way we feel]
      When I took a hard look at my relationship with food, I saw what my daughter saw, which is that my approach isn’t all that “healthy.” I am obsessed with weight. I think about it — the weight I’ve gained, the weight I’d like to lose, how every morsel of food I put into my mouth will affect that battle — all the time. I thought this was just a running dialogue I was having internally, but apparently it wasn’t. It was obvious for the world to see, and especially for my four daughters — the people I wanted to see it the least. I preach body positivity in my house and I talk to them about it for their own bodies all the time. But when it comes to my own body, none of that applies.
      I thought I was setting an example of how to maintain a healthy weight and body image into middle age. Instead, I've been setting an example of ordering my life around looking a certain way and constantly denying myself pleasure to maintain it. That example sucks.
      Many times as a member of Gen X, I thought that just by telling my children a different message than the one I got growing up, that things would be different for them. I wanted to have my cake and eat it too: impose on myself all of the obsessions about weight that I’d grown up with while telling them to be different. But they see that as the hypocritical position it is.
      I don’t want to be a hypocrite, but letting go of my obsession with my weight? Not so fast. I’ve been in an ongoing conversation with myself about my weight for at least 30 years. Would I be able to love myself, or even like myself, if I gained weight? Not without a lot of hard work. Frankly, it’s a lot easier and very tempting to stay a hypocrite.
      But I don’t want to set that example for my daughters. I want to have a healthy body image and a healthy relationship with food. I don’t want them to obsess about their weight, and I don’t want them to waste the monumental time and effort that I have obsessing over staying thin. I’ve got to do better.
      So how will I unpack and unlearn 30 years of internalized beauty standards? I haven’t a clue. That’s a topic for another essay.
      Read more...
    • Before you make a big leap, take some time to assess and create a vision for your career and family life
      We have all seen the headlines around the growing exodus in the labor force with people leaving in what appears to be record numbers. The “Great Resignation” is real and it is impacting all if us in both direct and indirect ways.
      First, let’s do a brief overview of some of the data. The biggest exodus seems to be in the accommodations and food service industry, with retail next. Interestingly, this trend was happening before the pandemic and researchers aren’t sure if the continued trend was due to the pandemic or not. Healthcare workers are quitting and finding alternatives due to burnout and dissatisfaction (can we blame them?!).
      [Related: Working mom hacks: Tips and tricks to make your life easier]
      None of this is cut-and-dry, and researchers are working to get at what is really going on, but I believe it is super important to acknowledge the disparity in reasons people are leaving. Some are leaving good jobs for better work environments and more flexibility — these are the fortunate ones. The other broad category is comprised of folks who are experiencing truly deplorable work conditions and have to choose between unhealthy work environments and survival. And how very different it is for women who have consistently outnumbered men in exiting the workforce out of necessity to care for children, aging parents, sick relatives, or all of them at once.
      [Related: How to hire more moms? Corporate America needs to learn to share]
      We are all a part of, and impacted by, this world phenomenon. What is important about understanding the bigger picture is being aware that it unconsciously sways our own behaviors. Suddenly we are given permission to think about our work life in very different ways prompting us to ponder the following questions:
      * How do we think about being a working parent now vs. pre-pandemic?
      * Are there aspects of our job that previously didn't bother us, but now do?
      * How do we think differently about our role as a working parent vs. pre-pandemic?
      Personally, I fall into the privileged category of assessing a work-life situation that is already good, but the pandemic has brought up gaps and caused me to step back and inventory what aspects I love, and what I want to change. As a coach and facilitator, I love being with people and did not think I could take my practice online and keep the same level of impact. Our children are recently out of college, and this new flexibility has caused some regret to surface around being physically gone many evenings and weekends while I was raising them. I would say I value time, nature, and learning and growing more than I realized before the pandemic, and I am changing my work situation significantly to have more of what nourishes me.
      I have found in my coaching of couples and families that many had previously gone along with the program as it was scripted, and are now stepping back and assessing their priorities. In many fields, it is a job-seeker's market, but before you make a big leap, take some time to assess and create a vision for your career and family life.
      Read more...
    • Parents play a big role, but if you need extra help, it’s not a role you have to play alone.
      Children are wired for language from birth, and can pick up skills without any formal lessons. Even still, parents play a big role helping their children develop the expert language and literacy skills they need to thrive socially and in school. To learn more about these skills and how parents can nurture them, we sat down with Samina Hadi-Tabassum, literacy and language expert at Erikson Institute. 
      When do children begin learning language and literacy skills, and what are the stages of their development?
      Babies pick up on the sounds of human voices in the womb. After birth, they begin to recognize these voices and turn their heads towards familiar ones.
      In their first three months, infants begin to “coo,” as they learn to control their vocal cords and the muscles they’ll need to speak. Around six months, the baby begins to string together vowels and consonant sounds repetitively, such as “mamama” and “dadada.”
      Most children don’t begin producing words until age two. Before then, they are actively listening and decoding sounds around them. Babies and toddlers catalogue language in their minds, almost like statistics, until they're finally able to voice some of what they’ve learned.
      By age three, children are typically speaking in simple phrases, (i.e. “blue ball”) and sentences that can sound like directives (i.e. “Mommy give ball”), since the ability to pose and ask complex questions comes later at age five. By the time they enter elementary school, most children can string together sentences like little adults.
      There are many instances, however, where children don’t begin speaking until much later on (around four or five), even though they have still been perceiving and making sense of language around them. There are many reasons for this, some more serious than others, but parents should consult their pediatrician if they feel there is a cause for a child’s delay.
      What can parents do to support the early development of their child’s language and literacy skills?
      The most important thing a parent can do is engage their children in conversation from day one, since infants are perceiving and making sense of the language code. When conversing, parents should look children in the eyes, have them watch and observe their mouths, and teach them about taking turns when communicating. Never rely on technology to help your child learn language; it doesn’t work. They can only learn from other humans, and need to be exposed to rich oral language before they can learn to read or write.
      [Related: 6 ways to teach your child a foreign language this summer]
      How can parents partner with teachers to promote their child’s literacy skills?
      Parental nurturing of literacy skills is critical, as reading is an artificial system that we created to convey messages, and children are not wired to naturally pick up on how to read. Parents should begin reading to children soon after birth and incorporate books into their home environment. Ask children questions about the stories you read to foster their comprehension skills. To promote print recognition, parents can point out the letters that make up their names and take them through the alphabet visually and phonetically.
      Note that no matter how much you read to your infant or toddler, it takes time for children to learn to read. They need to learn the sounds of letters, how to decode words, and understand the meaning of multiple words strung together. Doing this requires logical skills, which children don’t usually develop until age five or six.
      If a child is bilingual, how might this affect language and literacy development?
      Bilingual and multilingual children have a cognitive advantage. By switching from one language to another, children learn to think flexibly and sort the world in different ways.
      Bilingual children might be delayed in mastering both languages equally, and might struggle to keep up with their peers at first. But research shows that by the time they are in middle school, bilingual children often outperform their monolingual peers. 
      What can parents do to support their development in two languages?
      The stronger the foundation of the child’s first language, then the easier it is to learn others. For bilingual parents, this means speaking the child’s home language and teaching them to read and write in it. Pass down the culture associated with your child’s native language as well. Research demonstrates that bilingual children who keep their language and culture while learning English in American schools do much better academically in the long run.
      [Related: How I'm teaching my young kid 4 languages]
      For monolingual parents who wish their child to become bilingual, consider a dual-language preschool.This provides them with an immersive second-language experience while enabling them to get a solid grasp on their first language at home.
      What should I do if I feel my child needs extra support in language and literacy?
      Observe your children as much as possible to recognize any language patterns unique to them. Keep in mind, though, that each child is different, so their language and literacy journey is, as well. Factors such as gender, birth order, and genetics can play a role in language development. 
      Speak with your pediatrician about developmental milestones and whether or not they are noticing differences and delays. If there are delays, there are plenty of experts who can help — including developmental therapists who can come to your home. Parents play a big role in their child’s language and literacy development, but it’s important to know that if you need extra help, it’s not a role you have to play alone.
      Samina Hadi-Tabassum is a clinical associate professor at Erikson Institute where she teaches graduate courses in cognitive and language development. Her research interests include examining race, culture, and language.
      Read more...
    • Bottom line: don’t ignore the warning signs, and take action.
      Although it’s impossible to say how long the COVID-19 pandemic might last, it’s certain that there are lingering emotional effects on all of us. Kids are no different, and perhaps they’ve even suffered the most — given how long a vaccine has taken to come around for them; the fact that each new experience is a chance for them to grow; and that school, which is central to their lives, has essentially been turned upside down.
      [Related: 7 tips for parents of young kids navigating COVID-19]
      Good stress vs. toxic stress
      Under stress as they may have been in the last year-and-a-half, many children, supported by their families and social networks, have bolstered their natural resilience. Others’ normal physiological response to stress (which should come and go) has become a more pervasive and pathologic one. Some children have developed good coping skills, like talking to their families or doing a relaxing activity, while others have developed deleterious ones, such as being on screens endlessly. 
      Changing Lives and Mixed Messages
      At first, it was very normal for us all to shrink back, put our social activities on hold as well as our kids’. At that time it was easy enough to explain to our kids that we needed to hold back on birthday parties, indoor sports activities, and even larger family gatherings. Over time it became harder and harder to navigate these decisions, causing not only the adults to be in a constant state of stressed decision-making, but also leaving our children confused over what was and wasn’t safe, especially with changing COVID rates, vaccination recommendations, and variants. Mixed messages from the media, their friends, and literally everybody around them has made things really confusing. In our household, my husband and I didn’t even see eye to eye on some of these decisions, but tried our best to be very clear about our co-created rules and expectations.  
      [Related: Nurturing your child's health in the pandemic's aftermath]
      Red Flags
      When I see families now who still haven’t started to navigate some social activities with their kids, I worry. Especially when I see kids who have lost interest in activities they previously enjoyed, it’s a red flag. Physiologically speaking, our bodies can tolerate being in a stress state for some time, but living in a chronic state of fight or flight is unhealthy and, especially in kids, can start to manifest as physical symptoms, such as poor sleep (having a hard time falling asleep, waking up earlier than they want), headaches, abdominal pain, and poor appetite.  
      Add to this the stress of returning to a school environment in which they may not feel safe (COVID-19, violence, bullying) and underprepared (many kids got behind last year not just in their learning but in their study skills). In our house, we definitely had a slump in our kids' moods and their overall motivation and interest in learning, but luckily we are seeing things bounce back.  
      [Related: Reintroducing play dates in a post-pandemic world]
      What To Do
      If you’re not seeing your child bounce back or they have any of the red flags listed, I suggest you speak with your child’s pediatrician. At this point we are really comfortable with these conversations, can start an evaluation, and then point families in the right direction. Schools can be really helpful too: Although many are understaffed, they are also very aware of the social-emotional struggles that their students are going through; a social worker or caseworker can be a really great resource. Bottom line: don’t ignore the warning signs, and take action!
      Read more...
    • In retrospect, that milestone year in front of a screen was painful for all of us — and I am so grateful for the shift that occurred when it did.
      Like most of us, the first month of the 2020 lockdown felt very confusing. After our family had an energy-draining cold while vacationing in Costa Rica, I recall asking myself, “Did I already have Covid-19?” Knowing how many people were losing their lives made the winter of 2020 all the more intense. One of the most heartbreaking moments I felt was when I came to the realization that my kindergartner was going to spend his first year of school on a computer. Remote learning was necessary at the time, but extremely frustrating.
      In retrospect, that milestone year in front of a screen (while, on occasion, our WiFi tempted our faith) was painful for all of us. 
      My wanderlust suffered as well; canceling anticipated trips was a gut punch. Just imagine: your best girlfriends coming over, all excited about your first girlfriends’ trip together, only to be crashed by a global pandemic!
      [Related: Self-care during Covid: Creating your own pandemic slowdown]
      I wanted to scream about the lack of incentives I was used to rewarding myself throughout the year. My stress from working at home and managing the stress of my children led to my weight gain, sleepless nights, and hair loss. As a therapist, other healers like myself experienced our own pandemic trauma on top of providing care to clients and our families. I was in need of some empowerment.
      During the spring of 2020, I experienced a mental reset. I committed to an intermittent fast and went down to my pre-baby weight. I began to practice yoga and meditation on a daily basis; I felt reborn. A light had been turned on in me that led to a fire that could not be doused.
      That fire rose after the murders of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor. My voice as a Black woman became more pronounced in my work and personal life. My connection with my chosen family and momma tribe was stronger than ever because of their support, allyship and authentic empathy.
      [Related: Help your kids capture memories of this strange year]
      Being with my family 24/7 has strengthened us in a way that I never could’ve imagined. I learned intimate things about my children that inspired me to start a virtual community for families of mixed backgrounds. (I currently have 2.3K subscribers on my YouTube channel!) It’s been a wonderful outlet for me as a Black mother. It’s been even more inspiring to hear the impact it has had on my viewers and interviewees, as well.
      I've been humbled by the willingness of estranged family members to participate in family FaceTime on Sundays and Thanksgiving. Taking nature walks with our new puppy provided the movement and vitamin D that was lacking due to quarantine. These intentional practices saved me and my family from going down the path of toxic behavioral patterns.
      I am so grateful for the shift that occurred when it did. It has prepared us for the return to human interactions. We now have a wide variety of coping skills to keep us grounded, and we're grateful in the acknowledgment that how we feel and think is what is in our control.
      Read more...
    • We’ve learned to embrace the change of season — not resist it
      “A season of shivers” is the prediction from the Old Farmer’s Almanac. In Chicago we’ve been bracing ourselves. These are some of the winter traditions that our family looks forward to, as we countdown to warmer times.

      10. Bundle Up And Get Outside – What else can you do?
      Build a custom snowman and challenge each other to a (gentle) snowball fight
      Project a (short!) holiday movie outside
      Go sledding on the nearest hill
      9. Enjoy Decorations Galore – A little magic is essential
      Pick out a tree to decorate together
      Visit the Lincoln Park Zoo's festive ZooLights
      Take a pajama car tour of the decorations downtown
      8. Reach Out to Friends – Remember who’s important
      Send paper cards with handwritten messages
      Plan holiday socials (recently held outdoors or virtually)
      Facetime or Zoom with family far away
      [Related: How to survive a Chicago winter with kids]
      7. Undertake A Giving Project – Truly embrace the meaning of the season
      Deliver food in person
      Make bedazzled cards with heartfelt messages
      Fulfill holiday wishes
      6. Make And Eat Special Foods – Enjoy the delicious
      Bake family cookie and shortbread recipes
      Create a (truly unique!) gingerbread house
      Indulge in a home hot chocolate bar (with current favorite: unicorn poop marshmallows!)
      5. Meld Our Cultures – …while exploring others
      Invite our American Elf on the Shelf to come out on December 1st
      Pull English crackers to reveal paper hats and silly jokes
      Recognize and learn about other cultural holidays through crafts and stories
      4. Respect Family Traditions – Take the best of the past
      Play together as a family, raiding the games closet
      Lay an extra place setting on feast days, to welcome unexpected guests
      Walk off over-eating on Boxing Day (December 26th) and be at one with nature
      3. Connect With Santa — Socially distant, of course
      Send a letter to Santa (one that generates a return!)
      Wave to the CTA Holiday Train
      Enjoy a meet-and-greet with Mr. Claus (most recently virtually, with fabulous video recording)
      [Related: Holiday activities in Chicago for special-needs kids]
      2. Cozy Up Inside — Embrace hygge season
      Watch any version of The Grinch during movie nights with homemade popcorn (on repeat!)
      Gorge ourselves on s’mores around the fireplace
      Visit the Art Institute, the Museum of Science and Industry's holiday exhibit, or a family-friendly installation — all warm and indoors!
      1. Welcome The New Year — Celebrate a fresh start
      Make our own party poppers (with toilet rolls, balloons and confetti)
      Take in the London fireworks live (conveniently at 6 p.m. CST)
      Create New Year Intentions collages to pin up and refer to during the year ahead
      Despite the bitter temperatures, there are plenty of activities to do during a Chicago winter. By the time of the first snow fall, our family is ready for our annual winter activities. Over the years we’ve come to realize that you just need to embrace the change of season, not resist it!
      Read more...
    • Four simple strategies for days when you need to pause your mind and settle back into the moment
      You know that feeling where you've been wide awake, engaged in a task, but were completely lost in thought the whole time? It can be startling to realize you have driven from point A to point B without feeling fully aware of your actions.
      While mind-wandering isn’t bad, it can lead to negative thinking patterns such as catastrophic thinking (e.g., “What if my partner is late because he's been in a terrible accident?!”) or other cognitive distortions that contribute to anxiety and depression. Parenting is hard enough without our minds playing tricks on us.
      Especially lately, there have been far too many moments when I feel like I'm phoning it in as a parent, where a whole day has gone by and I feel like I’ve been on autopilot. My ever-insightful daughter shook me to my core last week when she demanded, “Let me see your eyes!” after I answered her “Are you listening?” plea with a fully distracted “Yes.” 
      [Related: Self-care during COVID: Creating your own pandemic slow-down]
      It was a gracious wake-up call that I need to be more fully present with her. Meditation exercises can help refocus us back to the present moment and create space between our thoughts and ourselves. Meditation cultivates mindfulness, a state that helps us be fully present with our children and decreases feelings of anxiety and depression.
      Here are four simple strategies to use on days you need to pause your mind and settle back into the moment:
      Walking Meditation
      Connecting our body and our mind by slowing both down.
      How to do it: Think of a phrase or mantra (e.g., "I am at peace"). When you step with your left foot, say, "I am," and when you step with your right foot, say, "at peace." Repeat the mantra with each step. Welcome your child to join you and pick their own mantra! 
      Visualization Exercise
      Leaves on a Stream
      How to do it: Visualize yourself sitting beside a stream with leaves floating along the surface of the water. For each thought that crosses your mind — whether pleasurable, painful, or neutral —  visualize placing it onto a leaf, and let it float by. 
      Movement & Visualization Exercise
      Balloon Meditation
      How to do it: Envision a bright red balloon with a string connected to your left leg (arms, hands, shoulders, chest, etc.). As you breathe, notice the balloon rise and see your leg rising with it. Notice that it falls as the balloon brings your leg to the ground. Now, do the same with your right leg. Invite your child to do this one with you! 
      Gratitude Exercise
      The more we focus on what we're grateful for, the more our minds drift away from what we can't control. 
      How to do it: Find time each day (maybe during a period of winding down or relaxing) to say three things that you're grateful for. Of course, your child can do the same! Consider creating a gratitude jar or other helpful way to remember the positives in life.

      Kamryn Hinkle and Julianne Neely teamed up on this article to combine their expertise on parenting, pediatric mental health, and counseling techniques. They work together at Individual and Family Connection where they dedicate their careers to help children, parents, and families thrive by giving them the tools and strategies they need.
      Read more...
    • Who needs the suburbs when there's family-friendly Old Irving Park?
      Three-bedroom new-ish house with a yard on a quiet street in a diverse area, within walking distance of a good CPS neighborhood school, close to an El stop, with parks and restaurants nearby. 
      These were our requirements when my husband and I were looking to move out of our cramped two-bedroom condo in Edgewater with our then 2-year-old son back in 2015. A tall order, for sure. But Old Irving Park, a small neighborhood straddling 90/94 on the Northwest Side, delivered on all points — and then some.
      "It's a little bit of suburbia in the city," I often say to people unfamiliar with Old Irving. Houses with decent-size backyards can often be found for less than $1 million; the community is tight knit (I'm a member of the Old Irving Park Association and the Irving Park Garden Club); my son's school, Belding Elementary, is a 2-block walk from our house and nearly all the kids on our block go there; and we know our neighbors — especially the many parents of kids my sons' ages.
      Here are a few of our favorite family spots in and around OIP:
      [Related: Family neighborhood guide to Sauganash]
      Parks
      Our go-tos are Mayfair Park (cute water feature in the summer), Independence Park (giant slides, climbing structures, and a zip line), playgrounds at Belding Elementary and Disney II , LaBagh Woods (wide open grassy areas, the southern start of the North Branch Trail, toddler-friendly hiking trails along the Chicago River), Portage Park (great pool with kids' spray park, big playground), and Gompers Park (fun playground and a perfect hill for sledding). Yeah…we go to a lot of parks!
      Schools
      We're partial to Belding, of course, but there are plenty of other top-notch schools nearby, including St. Edward Catholic School, Disney II Magnet School, St. Viator Catholic School, and lots of great daycares. 
      Diversity
      Our kids interact with other children from different countries, ethnicities, socio-economic backgrounds every single day. Belding is majority minority, more than 25 languages are spoken there, and my son is learning both Arabic and Spanish.
      Restaurants
      One drawback to living in Old Irving is its lack of retail density. Coming from Edgewater, where you could quickly walk to countless restaurants and bars, a Whole Foods, and independent shops, it was a bit of an adjustment to have to drive to pick up groceries or shop for clothes and gifts. That said, a number of great spots have opened in the past few years that are family-friendly and have great food (a rare combo!). 
      [Related: Family neighborhood guide to Buena Park]
      We love Backlot Coffee for donuts, Eris Brewery and Cider House for its big outdoor patio, Community Tavern for its generous and delicious kids' meals (kids eat free Tuesday–Thursday and Sunday — score!), Old Irving Brewing for its cornhole area where kids can burn off energy (or just hoard beanbags like my kids do), and Easy Street Pizza for its delicious pizza and enclosed patio. 
      Other fun stuff
      The beautiful, light-filled Independence Library is a great way to spend a couple hours — we can't wait for the wood toys in the kids' corner and child programming to come back. The Irving Park YMCA ties the community together with social events, affordable summer camp, swim and sports lessons, and a kids' club where little ones can play while parents work out. Chicago Costume is just a few blocks from our house — the place is bananas and a fun stop even when it's not Halloween.
      Old Irving Park does more than check all our boxes — it's the first neighborhood we've lived in that really felt like home. When so many families seem to be moving to the suburbs, we continue to be thankful for our city/suburb hybrid 'hood.
      Read more...
    • JUF Right Start makes Jewish early childhood education more accessible for thousands of Chicago-area families.
      Choosing a quality, nurturing preschool or daycare program is often the first major decision parents make for their children. With so many competing priorities—cost, location, curriculum, size of classrooms and more—the process can be overwhelming. The Jewish United Fund of Chicago (JUF) recognizes the complexity of choices and has created extensive resources to guide decision making and ease the financial burden on families.
      JUF Right Start, the first program of its kind, was created to increase access to Jewish early childhood programs for Chicago-area families by providing a tuition discount to eligible children attending a Jewish program for the first time. 
      There are 36 Jewish early childhood centers across the Chicago metropolitan area, each of which creates a warm, loving environment where a child’s natural curiosity is nurtured. Inspired by Jewish values and infused with Jewish learning, these 36 schools are often the first place where a child—and their parents—find their community. 
      Recognizing that families may be struggling financially going into the 2022-23 school year, JUF Right Start is expanding: Families receiving the full Federal Child Tax Credit may be eligible for matching funds, with a savings of up to $7,200 on a Jewish early childhood program.
      The Child Tax Credit has been expanded to $3,600 per child under 6 for working families who earn up to $150,000 for a couple or $112,500 for a family with a single parent. JUF Right Start eligible families who qualify for the full Child Tax Credit and complete an attestation in the JUF Right Start application may receive additional funds of up to $3,600. 
      “JUF supports the Jewish family,” said Dr. Steven B. Nasatir, JUF executive vice chairman and longtime champion of Jewish early childhood education. “This is the largest program of its sort in the country. We recognize that some families may need additional financial assistance right now, and we want to help.”
      Families who do not qualify for the Child Tax Credit may still qualify to receive a JUF Right Start voucher of up to $2,000. 
      “I’m so proud of the resources we built at JUF to help parents,” said Anna Hartman, Director of Early Childhood Excellence at JUF. “We are parents too who have made these kinds of decisions and have experienced just how impactful and transformational a successful early childhood experience can be for both the child and the family.”
      Not sure where to start? The Preschool Concierge makes the process of learning about Jewish early childhood programs easy and convenient. Call 312-357-4967 or email preschoolconcierge@juf.org and expect to hear back within 24 hours during normal business hours (9:00am-4:00pm Monday through Friday, except legal and Jewish holidays).
      To learn more about how your family can save on Jewish preschool, visit ChicagoJewishPreschoolFinder.org or contact RightStart@juf.org.
      Read more...
    • What started as a this-looks-good-on-paper purchase turned out to be a great decision for us.
      When my husband and I decided we needed to stretch out a bit more than our then 1-bedroom condo would allow, we cast a wide net into Chicago’s neighborhoods, but our criteria was firm: close to the lake, strong residential feel, and good walkability.
      We stumbled upon a townhome close to the lakefront that had some architecturally cool features, was priced right, and had room for us to tackle some renovation work and add some equity to the home. Still relatively new to Chicago, we didn’t mind that the home was located in a neighborhood we were not very familiar with — Buena Park — and instead we focused on the investment opportunity and work we could put into the home.
      What started as a this-looks-good-on-paper purchase turned out to be a great decision for us. We fell in love with the blocks surrounding our home, the neighbors we became closest to, the local businesses that kept popping up, and the amazing access to the lakefront. I could go on and on about Buena Park, but there are a few key highlights that I mention often to my clients who are considering purchasing in the neighborhood:
      Walkability
      Buena Park is a small, primarily residential neighborhood that borders Lake Michigan. It seems like every street has sidewalks and mature trees, and there is a pedestrian path under Lake Shore Drive that provides easy access to the bike path, Montrose Harbor, and Marovitz Golf Course. Many don’t know one of the absolute GEMS of the city, architecture- and history-wise, is the enclave of beautiful homes and estates that reside on huge lots right off of Marine Drive — a perfect backdrop for a walk around the 'hood.
      [Related: Family neighborhood guide to Sauganash]
      Parks
      Buena Park may be small, but its park game is mighty. Buena Park Circle, Peace Circle (tranquility and waterfall!), Challenger Park and even Challenger Dog Park are all sprinkled throughout the neighborhood. And of course, immediate access to the lakefront trail, Montrose Harbor and beach, Montrose Lakefront Track, Montrose Point bird sanctuary (an amazingly peaceful spot) and Cricket Hill.
      Education
      Park View Montessori is a cheerful spot for pre-k kids, and Walt Disney Magnet is not only extremely popular for families in the neighborhood, but a sought-after school city-wide.
      Eating & Shopping
      For a relatively small neighborhood, Buena Park has a great selection of local dine- in or take-out spots along Montrose and Broadway. There are multiple grocery options, and a Target nearby that makes errands quick and easy. Plus, if you are looking for more action, Lakeview is so close you have the best of both worlds — additional restaurant and boutique options are hopping just minutes away, but you get to go back home to your quiet, residential street.
      [Related: 7 places in Hyde Park to explore with your family]
      Prices
      Compared to other neighborhoods south along the lakefront or west of downtown, Buena Park real estate can be very reasonably priced. For an extra 5-10 minutes north on Lake Shore Drive, you can maximize your purchase power with a lot more space and amazing access to Lake Michigan.
      Our family has doubled since we bought our beloved Buena Park townhouse and we had to move on to our next chapter, but I’ll always have a nostalgic love for the neighborhood. It’s one of those communities I never get sick of talking about…and I just may have recruited a buyer or two who has now planted roots in this Chicago gem!
      Read more...
    • More often than not, the experience proved to be a bright light in an otherwise dark period.
      In June 2021, we visited friends in the suburbs for a “pandemic baby” party. With all adults vaccinated and the older kids wearing masks, we gathered outside to hug friends we hadn’t seen in 18 months and meet the eight new babies among us who had come into the world during that time. Although COVID-19 was far from gone, the event was symbolic — something of a bookend to my pregnancy, birth and postpartum experience, all of which took place during the pandemic.
      My husband and I had planned to try for our second baby in late spring of 2020, but the uncertainty of the pandemic threw all that into question. However, after realizing that our lives were in many ways safer than ever with strict quarantining, and based on the encouragement of my OB, we decided to go for it. Many people over the course of the year asked me how it felt to be pregnant and have a newborn during the pandemic, often commenting, “You must be so nervous!” Admittedly, some parts were nerve-wracking. I wish my husband could have attended the 8-week and 20-week appointments with me, for example. And it was certainly stressful to worry about having my parents quarantine for long enough before coming to help after the birth. But more often than not, the experience proved to be a bright light in an otherwise dark period. Here are the four reasons I enjoyed having a pandemic baby.
      1. I didn’t have to see many people in person. As most second-time moms can attest, you start showing a lot earlier with the second pregnancy, often well before you’re ready to share the news. Without in-person gatherings and in-office work, I didn’t have to take pains to hide my growing bump or morning sickness. In fact, some of my coworkers from other departments didn’t even know I was pregnant until they saw my out-of-office maternity leave message.
      [Related: A tale of two postpartum experiences]

      2. I didn’t miss out on social events. When I was pregnant with my first, I found it difficult to adjust from having an active social life to sitting on the sidelines. Pregnancy can feel like you’re frozen in time as the rest of the world moves forward without you. Although I tried to remain as social as possible, I couldn’t help but feel left out when I had to drink water at a work happy hour or duck out early from a late dinner with friends. With a pandemic baby, most social events fell to the wayside for everyone. I didn’t feel like I was missing out because, unfortunately, everyone was missing out.

      3. I got to savor the final months of having a family of three. Although the pandemic introduced an overwhelming degree of chaos for parents, particularly those of school-age kids, it also provided an opportunity to spend more quality time with the family. Without the distractions of playdates, activities and trips to visit family and friends back home, my husband and I were able to soak up time with our 3-year-old. Christmas, which usually involves a whirlwind tour of Wisconsin to see as much family as possible, last year consisted of the three of us making dinner and enjoying a quiet evening opening gifts in front of the tree. I remember moments where I just sat and marveled at my daughter’s beautiful face, grateful for her, our health, and our safety. I had time to be in the moment with her, before life changed drastically once again.
      [Related: Is your relationship ready for baby? 4 tips to prepare your partnership]

      4. I had hope for the future when every other part of life felt hopeless. The degree of uncertainty, fear of illness, sadness over the thousands of deaths in the U.S. alone, and stress of working with a child at home were enough to feel like the world was ending. Pregnancy provided an escape, a chance to see the future through a hopeful lens when the world was crumbling around us. Bringing new life into the world felt like an act of defiance in the face of a relentless virus that took so many lives. I’ll always be grateful for the joy my pregnancy provided when little else did.
      As fortunate as I feel to have had a positive experience with pregnancy during the pandemic, nothing compares to the privilege of living a safe, healthy, and normal life. When I attended the pandemic baby party last summer, it was emotional and somewhat surreal. The other moms and I found ourselves reminiscing about the experience and swapping stories from the previous year. But soon enough, the pandemic talk got old. With our spouses laughing on the deck and our children playing together in the sprinkler, we decided to spend the rest of the day looking to the future — to the joys of normal, routine life we hoped were right around the corner.
      Read more...
    • In her young life, I never thought this time would end. But it did. And I miss her. I really miss her.
      On my way home from dropping my oldest daughter at college, I realized that for the first time in 18 years and 66 days, I would not know the intimate details of her life. I didn’t know what she was going to eat for dinner that night or whom she would eat with. I didn’t know what she was going to wear the next day, what kind of mood she would be in, where she was going to go and who she was going to meet. Had she made any new friends yet? Would she be able to fall asleep easily in her new dorm room? I wouldn’t know.
      Our society often portrays parents as deliriously happy and relieved when their children leave for college. I get that because parenting a teenager is intense: it’s exhausting, terrifying, frustrating, humbling and bewildering. But all summer before she left, I shared with friends that I while I was so excited for her, I was at the same time very sad that she was leaving. In return I would get bemused and sort of confused half-smiles in return, as if they were saying: You’ll see, it will be great.
      [Related: What if I put my parenting experience on my resume?]

      Parts of it are great. I have three other daughters, so one less person in the house has given me additional time and mental space. And there are parts of parenting a teenager that I don’t miss (like wondering what time she will be home on a weekend night). My daughter is thriving in college — she’s loving her new school, new friends, new freedom and life. She’s the happiest she’s ever been, and I’m so proud of how she’s adjusted and run headlong with open arms into this next phase. All of that brings me intense joy, relief, pride and peace.
      But there is loss and grief too. There’s a pain point that you have as a parent that only gets activated by your relationship to your child. You know the pain point I’m talking about: the one that doubles you over, knocks the wind out of you, bruises your soul.
      My parental pain point is sore and aching. I’m grieving that the 18 years and 66 days I had of knowing the intimate details of my daughter’s life are over. I always knew that this time was a finite gift and a privilege. In her young life (particularly from ages 3-5) I never thought this time would end. But it did. And I miss her. I really, really miss her.
      [Related: Preparing for your child's first overnight summer camp]
      When looking back over these 18 years and 66 days, I’ve thought that parenting is really a cruel trajectory. At the beginning of your relationship with your child, you cannot leave them unattended for a second: their life literally depends on you. Slowly your relationship becomes less and less intense so that eventually you’re just sending heart emojis to show you love them. It seems like a sick joke.
      But with every ending, there’s also a beginning. The last time that my daughter wasn’t part of my day-to-day life, I was 28. Who am I now at 47? What will I do with the extra mental space and time that is not filled by my daughter? I’ll admit that I’ve been watching a lot of episodes of Sex and the City, just like I did at age 28 (although seeing it through a very different lens now — wow), and maybe I’ve been doing that to connect with my younger self. I know that eventually I’ll answer the “What am I going to do?” question, but first I’m going to allow myself to grieve. Parenting is always a mix of intense emotions at the same time, so there’s comfort in knowing that at least that part hasn’t changed.
      Read more...
    • Especially at the beginning of the school year, establishing good routines will make your family’s life a whole lot easier
      As a busy parent, achieving “peace and ease” may often feel outside of your reach. But with the strategic implementation of routine, you may find that they are closer than you think. Here are three simple tips to get started.
      1. Start with one small routine. A homework routine is a great cornerstone routine that you can build upon. The first step is to ensure that your kids’ homework spaces are quiet and clutter-free. Next, establish homework rules. I suggest that kids come home, eat a snack, and get straight to work. Thereafter, removing snacks, devices or other distractions can really help to narrow focus. Depending on a child’s age and amount of homework, set a timer for an appropriate amount of work time (30 minutes for elementary students, 50 for middle schoolers and high schoolers). When the timer goes off, permit them to take a 5-10 minute break before resuming the work. Don’t forget that they will need you to impose the structure at the start, but they may not need that forever.
      [Related: Transition from summer to school year with these tips]
      2. Experiment and build upon your successes. Establishing routine is a process, so don’t be afraid to experiment. For example, if your kids need more down time when they get home from school, give them that break. If you find this leads to late-night homework meltdowns, revisit that assessment and tweak it. Once the homework routine is second-nature, redirect your attention to another time of day that feels particularly inefficient, frazzled, or frustrating. Outline what needs to be done, who needs to do it, and what kind of time restraints are to be imposed. Make sure you communicate clearly with job charts, checklists, and/or to-do lists to ensure that your entire family is on the same page. Utilize alarms and device reminders as necessary to keep everyone on track. The good news is that once one routine in place, it is much easier to build upon your existing routines. You may even find that after some initial pushback, your kids crave and maintain the structure independently.
      [Related: Helping your anxious child handle homework]
      3. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good enough. Routines are more of an art than a science, and they are definitely a practice. Some days the routine will be seamless, and other days, it will be a mess. That is OK. Use that data as feedback to make decisions about how to formulate or adjust as necessary. Continue to come back to the routine and to implement it with as much consistency as possible, but if you must stray or tweak it, don’t fret. The whole idea is that the routine should work for you — not the other way around.
      Personally, I don’t love starting new routines, but once a new routine is in place, I don’t know how I lived without it. Put in a little extra work at the beginning of this school year to establish those good routines, and I promise that in the end, it will make your family’s life a whole lot easier.
      Read more...
    • If there is something you believe in — a cause that taps your shoulder or keeps you awake at night— make it happen.
      Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night with a crazy idea? And then by morning, you think you can actually do it?  
      Well, that's what happened to me in June 2018. At the time I had a successful cooking blog, MommaChef.com, with more than 80,000 followers. It features recipes using six ingredients or less and prepared in six minutes or less. I also was busy writing articles for dozens of magazines and working with various companies to develop recipes using their products.
      All of this would have been a dream come true for most food bloggers, but I didn't feel complete. Something was missing. It was that aha moment at 3 a.m. when I realized that I wanted to focus more time and energy into helping others. And what could be more perfect than opening a soup kitchen to feed the needy?
      [Related: Make kindness a daily act with your kids]
      Once the idea came to me, I was determined to make it happen. Over the next few months, I researched what was needed to help the under-resourced people in the Chicago area. I quickly found a facility that was willing to donate its space to house the Soup Kitchen. I created a business plan, held fundraisers to offset the costs, and designed menus to feed more than 100 people. Within four months, in October 2018, Momma Chef's Soup Kitchen opened its doors at Congregation KINS in West Rogers Park.
      Each Tuesday evening, Momma Chef’s Soup Kitchen provides a 5-course homemade hot meal to anyone who comes to our doors. We also deliver 70 meals to two local shelters. That middle-of-the-night idea has provided over 15,000 meals since opening our doors. What makes this soup kitchen unique is that I was determined to run it with no overhead other than the cost of food and security. The Soup Kitchen needs more than 600 volunteers/year to prepare and serve the meals. And every person involved, including myself and members of my family, donates their time.*
      During the start of COVID in April of 2020, when I passed by a neighborhood little free library box, the notion that I could help address food insecurity around the city in the same manner as the library boxes struck me. I decided that day that I wanted to start a “Momma Chef Little Free Pantry Movement” in Chicago, providing 24-hour non-perishable food to anyone in need. It took around a year to get everything in place, and in May 2021, I opened my first pantry at West Ridge Community Methodist Church. My son, who is a junior in high school, is in charge of running the pantry for me. We keep the pantry stocked daily with healthy non-perishable food such as peanut butter, cans of fruit, cans of soups and stews, cans of tuna, chicken, etc. It’s a wonderful way for people in need to take food anonymously at any time of the day.
      With the success of the first pantry, I am going to be installing more pantries around the city in the next couple of months: My next two will be at Beth Emet Synagogue in Evanston, and New Beginnings Church in West Woodlawn. I want to encourage everyone that if there is something you believe in — a cause that taps your shoulder or keeps you awake at night — believe in yourself! One person truly can make a difference.
      You can find me at www.mommachef.com. I am keeping busy with my blog, Soup Kitchen, Food Pantries, and I plan to publish a cookbook in 2022 with my delicious “6 under 6” recipes, with proceeds going to these projects.

      *If you're interested in volunteering at the Soup Kitchen, you are more than welcome! Kids 11 and up are welcome, too. Here's how.
      Read more...
    • Scarred by the dark early months of my first pregnancy, I couldn’t fathom going through it all again…but I did.
      A day or so after giving birth to my first baby, a terror set in — a realization that my life had forever changed. I felt like a stranger in the world, going through the motions of being a mom on the outside while quietly panicking on the inside. As someone with lifelong anxiety and OCD tendencies, I had prepared myself for the possibility of increased anxiety after birth. I figured I’d be able to manage any slight fluctuations like I had during other periods of my life, so I was confused when, over the coming weeks, I couldn’t seem to get a grip.
      I was tired — and not just from lack of sleep. I felt emotionally overwhelmed and wanted nothing more than to go to bed, alone. I cried daily, sometimes without warning. I couldn’t focus on anything, including even the most lighthearted, simple TV shows. I longed for my pre-baby life with just my husband, when everything was familiar and easy. Worst of all, I felt detached from my daughter, yet unable to leave her side. Eventually, I came to realize that I wasn’t experiencing increased anxiety; I was experiencing postpartum depression (PPD).
      Recovery and reset
      Even after acknowledging that I had PPD, it took months for the feelings to subside. Only after my daughter turned one did I feel like I could breathe again. I remained incredibly scarred by those dark early months and couldn’t fathom going through it all again. Yet my husband and I had always known we wanted another child. So, eventually, I decided to reach out for professional help.
      [Related: Is your relationship ready for baby? 4 tips to prepare your partnership]
      Well in advance of trying for a second child, I contacted Flourish Wellness & Counseling, which provides therapy, advocacy and resources focused on perinatal mental health. I met with a therapist there who helped me process the lingering sadness, regret, and guilt brought on by my first postpartum experience. We revisited the difficult moments and, over many months, came up with a plan for how to handle my next postpartum period, whenever that time came. This plan involved:
      • Increasing my anxiety medication during my third trimester, a move whole-heartedly supported by the OBs at Northwestern Medical Group
      • Leaning on a solid support system, including my husband, parents and friends 
      • Signing up for couples therapy through Flourish to give my husband and me the tools to collaboratively manage another potential experience with PPD
      • Joining a virtual second-time moms group through The Chicago New Moms Group to stay connected during the isolation of the pandemic
      Round two
      I became pregnant with my second child — another daughter — during the pandemic and gave birth in early January 2021. I felt an immediate bond with her, which was surreal, beautiful and welcome. I didn’t feel the terror I did the first time around because I had been through it all before. I also felt much more mentally balanced, thanks to the increased medication and a focus on getting at least one solid stretch of sleep each night by sharing feeding duties with my husband.
      [Related: Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders - The Most Common Complication of Pregnancy and Childbirth (members-only video)]
      By the time I returned to work at the 3-month mark, I felt triumphant. I had made it through the first few hard months and had even enjoyed parts of it. But just as I was celebrating my lack of depression, I started to notice some other troubling behaviors. I felt jittery and unsettled. I would often lie awake after night feeds, unable to turn my brain off. I started to have intrusive thoughts about something terrible (and terribly unrealistic) happening to my girls. I became snippy and irritable with all the worry swirling inside. Talking to my therapist, I realized that, while I had been hyper-focused on PPD, postpartum anxiety (PPA) had crept in.
      Using the resources I had already built in, however, I felt equipped to handle this unexpected turn of events. I talked to my husband, friends and family about what I was feeling. I visited my primary care provider, who adjusted my thyroid medication, and I spent many hours talking to my therapist. She helped me sort through my anxious thoughts, telling me that each postpartum experience differs, falling somewhere new on the spectrum of anxiety and depression. She also helped normalize my feelings, saying how common and even natural PPA is, given the fluctuating hormones and massive responsibility mothers feel. With her help, I was better able to compartmentalize my ruminating thoughts and prioritize self-care to get to a healthier place.
      The other side
      As I'm writing this, seven months into my second postpartum experience, I can honestly say I feel back to my normal self. I’m happy, healthy and (mostly) relaxed. Although I wish some parts of my postpartum experiences had been different, I’m grateful that I have an understanding of both ends of the spectrum so I can be a sounding board for other mothers going through the same thing. Mostly, I’m grateful for the resources available that gave me the courage to have a second child and discover some of the joy I had missed out on before.
      Read more...
    • Our family has absolutely fallen in love with Sauganash for so many reasons. Here are just a few.
      This is the first in a series of articles exploring family-friendly neighborhoods in Chicago.
      I’m a big planner. I like to be prepared, anticipate what’s coming next, and have a plan. So imagine my surprise (at myself) when bambino #2 arrived and we found ourselves in a townhouse that did not include a bedroom for the new little man in our life. Whoops!
      And then…global pandemic. No school. No childcare. Walls felt like they were closing in on us, we were craving more outdoor space, and absolutely needing more office space. And of course, more bedrooms. Aaaand a 2-car garage, and…the list was getting longer and I was becoming increasingly uncompromising in what I wanted.
      I had been looking casually for over a year. The planner in me envisioned our family in Lincoln Park, Old Town, or Bucktown. We also considered the North Shore. But all were either out of our budget, too far from the city, or didn’t have the space we were looking for.
      [Related: 7 places in Hyde Park to explore with your family]
      During the initial quarantine days, we drove over to the LaBagh Woods forest preserve to get some fresh air, and after walking through the amazingly secluded-feeling trails, spotting several deer, and waving at friendly kayakers, we stepped out of the woods onto Bryn Mawr Avenue and were immediately greeted by a family playing in their yard. As a realtor, I had been in Sauganash with clients before, but that day I felt like I had rediscovered the neighborhood: people gardening in their yards, kids riding bikes on the sidewalks, grandparents pushing strollers, and couples walking dogs. It just felt like home.
      We struck up a conversation with this family about how their kids knew all the other kids on the block and how generations of families plant their roots in the community. I remember looking at my husband and saying: Do we want to live here? Three months later we had closed on our new home, and it has made our lives so, so much easier. We now have plenty of bedrooms, two offices, multiple living spaces, a yard and a garage — hallelujah!
      Our family has absolutely fallen in love with Sauganash for so many reasons, but the ones that stick out the most are:
      The sense of community
      Sauganash feels like a village. Multiple generations populate each street, and you can run into someone who has lived in the neighborhood for 30+ years just as easily as you can meet a new young family. I’ve yet to encounter someone who doesn’t say hello, and I’ve met dozens of people just by walking around the neighborhood. Parents know all the kids up and down their street, and when someone new moves in, it’s not uncommon for neighbors to drop off welcoming goodies to their front door. Just yesterday I saw a sign in the window of a home that read: “Children, bikes and dogs are welcome on this lawn!” It truly doesn’t get any better.
      [Related: 3 reasons I'm happy my kids aren't growing up in the suburbs like I did]
      The architecture
      From 1920s Tudors to mid-century ranches to French revivals to Cape Cods and even new construction, Sauganash is anything but cookie-cutter. The Sauganash Community Association prides itself in being a resource for renovation and construction, encouraging property owners to embrace different architectural styles.
      The location
      This was a huge consideration for me. As someone who lived near the lakefront for over a decade, I never thought I could let that go. But living by the forest preserves means we have access to trails and nature, so jogging, biking and unicorn hunting is covered. And Sauganash’s proximity to I-94 means you can get downtown in 15 minutes or less (my husband and I can get to the West Loop for dinner in 12 minutes!), get to O’Hare in about 15 minutes, and easily bounce around the greater Chicago area.
      The value
      There is such a wide variety of homes in Sauganash, there truly is something for every price point. While the inventory does tend to get snatched up quickly (which is why you need a well-connected real estate agent…hiiii!), if you act quickly, you can find fixer-uppers in the $300s and more updated homes starting in the $600-$700s. For the square footage, you can easily double your purchase power for a home here compared to neighborhoods like Lincoln Park, Old Town and Bucktown.

      The schools
      There are excellent pre-k schools in and around the neighborhood. Sauganash Elementary is a highly rated (Level 1+) K-8 school that soon will have a brand new addition to house more classrooms — including dedicated STEM rooms — and a new gym. Queen of All Saints, which enjoys a robust athletic program, is also in the neighborhood.
      Since moving to Sauganash, our day-to-day life as a family has become so much easier, and we can still navigate around the city easily, too. Sauganash may be one of the not-so-best-kept secrets in Chicago. If you’re thinking about a move here, let’s talk! Just don’t tell anyone else…
       
      Image: Chicago Neighborhood Walks
      Read more...
    • Check out these fun and safe ways to get your mini chefs involved in making dinner for the whole family
      Not all kids like to cook at younger ages and that’s to be expected. It’s easy to get intimidated around hot pots and sharp knives. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Here are some fun and safe ways to get your mini chefs involved in making dinner for the whole family!
      Meatless Monday
      We know it’s a cliché, but what better day to make a veggie-based pasta? Use a food processor to whip up an easy spinach “pesto” using fresh baby spinach, basil, nuts of your choice, and good parmesan or other aged cheese (optional). Have your kid(s) pour in the olive oil as the motor runs until the pesto is smooth. Cook pasta in a small pot according to package directions, drain (reserving about a tablespoon of the cooking water), and add pesto to the pot. Have your mini(s) stir to coat with a wooden spoon. They can also garnish the prepared bowls by sprinkling in some extra grated parmesan cheese and/or tear up more basil leaves to place on top.
      [Related: 5 tips for cooking with little kids]
      Taco Tuesday
      OK, OK, it’s another cliché, but do tacos on Tuesday ever fail? Switch things up a notch by making crispy taco bowls or cups with toppings of your choice. While you cook some ground beef (or chicken or turkey) seasoned with salt, cumin and chili powder, have your mini(s) push small flour or corn tortillas into the cups of a muffin tin lightly sprayed with olive or avocado oil. You can spoon in the cooked meat, and they can top with shredded Chihuahua, Mexican blend, or other cheese of your choice. Bake off the taco shells in a 350-degree oven for about 10 minutes or until crisp. Once cooled, serve the muffin cups with a variety of toppings: chopped tomatoes or mild salsa, diced avocado, shredded lettuce, chopped fresh cilantro, and a squeeze of lime — if they’re up for it.
      Meatball Wednesday
      Time to maka da meatballs! Add ground beef/pork or chicken/turkey in a large bowl. Have your kid(s) sprinkle in some seasoning (onion powder, garlic powder, salt, pepper, oregano), and then have them squeeze in some ketchup for sweetness. Either you or they can crack an egg and add some panko, or have them tear up day-old bread for fresh breadcrumbs to add to the mix. Using clean hands, mix up the batch and everyone can take turns rolling the meat into golf ball-size balls. Pour a jar of marinara in a large, deep skillet and heat until a slow simmer forms. Gently place the mini meatballs in the mix, cover and cook until cooked through but still tender. Serve with pasta, in hoagie rolls, or by themselves with a veggie of choice.
      [Related: Ways to make learning playful and fun for kids]
      Stir-Fry Thursday
      Remember Mongolian BBQ? Bring back the '90s fave with make-your-own stir-fry bowls. Set up a station with bowls of raw, pre-chopped veggies (broccoli, mushrooms, diced red and yellow peppers, matchstick carrots, peas or edamame, etc.). Have them hand you their bowl while you add the protein (diced chicken or turkey breast or shrimp) and some pre-made stir-fry sauce (store-bought or a combo of soy sauce, hoisin or honey, and grated garlic and ginger). Heat up a little neutral or avocado oil in a wok or large skillet and cook until meat is cooked through and veggies are tender. They can finish off their bowls with any garnish of their choice (sliced scallions, toasted sesame seeds, chopped peanuts or almonds), or skip this part. You can even have then pick out the veggies you’ll be using at the grocery store to help them get more excited about the meal.
      Pizza Friday
      Make an easy Detroit-style pizza using a pan! This one’s easier to handle than stretching out and dealing with fresh dough. Line a buttered, 9"’ x 11" pan with prepared pizza dough and lightly brush it with olive oil. Have your kid(s) place alternating pepperoni slices and diced cheese across the dough (Detroit-style uses buttery brick cheese, or go for combination of brick and mozzarella), making sure to place enough cheese in the corners to create those signature, caramelized edges. Bake in a 500-degree oven on the lowest rack until bubbly, and edges are dark brown, almost black — about 30-40 minutes. Be sure to let the pizza rest 10 minutes before cutting into squares and serving.
      Photo: Annie Spratt on Unsplash
      Read more...
    • Sharing my traditions, and showing respect for differing customs, is something I can offer to my children.
      I often find myself pondering the cultural differences between Britain and the United States, and how to negotiate these with my kids. While I fully embrace my American citizenship, I also want my children to  know and appreciate their heritage. While it may seem like there are many similarities, it’s the little things that require consideration. 
      Language 
      Most people are aware of the language differences. Early on in my parenting journey, I decided to stick with American-purchased books, avoiding spelling confusion. That was an easy decision. But as for pronunciation…I find it hard to ensure that a zee-bra is never a zeb-ra, to the amusement of my family  and co-workers. 
      [Related: Take the time to learn how to pronounce 'difficult' names]
      Toys
      For a while, I held out against Barbie (like my sister successfully did with her daughter), and sought out traditional, European toys that I remembered from childhood. But my little ones hankered after shiny objects with robotic American accents — and I’ve found myself drawn to the innovative, modern creations  too. The verdict? If they provide some level of education or creative play, they’re considered for purchase.
      Mealtimes 
      Mealtimes, however, are more problematic. Starting with a fork in the right hand was a no-brainer, but introducing a knife caused confusion. For me, the fork should (almost always) be in the left hand, so the  knife naturally goes into the right hand. No thinking required. And where does the napkin sit? There is a  level of complexity I did not anticipate, so for now, we’re learning together at our weekly “etiquette”  lessons — a sight to behold! 
      Food 
      Food is also the subject of discussion in our house. Kid-friendly meals in England consisted of bangers and-mash, bubble and squeak, and Welsh rarebit, which all sound alien to kids born and raised in Chicago. While my eldest loves to try new foods (“these snails are delicious!”), my middle child is very  suspicious of “yukky” food with unfamiliar names. By making her my sous chef I’m hoping she’ll embrace  new recipes and flavors. 
      Holidays
      For the most part, we layer British holidays on top of the American ones observed at school. Boxing Day (December 26th) is a bonus day. Likewise, my youngsters get to double dip with British Mother’s Day (observed in March), while St. George’s Day (the English St. Patrick), St. David’s Day (their cousins are Welsh), and Hogmanay (Scottish word for "New Year") all add another dimension to our yearly calendar. 
      Bedtimes 
      When it comes to bedtime, I struggle to align with some of my local counterparts. We start our routine at an “absurdly early” hour. Although like many, I veto electronic toys in the bedroom, opting for books and soft toys that provide comfort and encourage sleep. After the long nights with our first newborn, I am unashamed of my relentless quest for "grown-ups only" evenings. And while we sometimes break our early-to-bed rule for special occasions, we try to keep a schedule even during the summer months.
      Sharing my traditions, and showing respect for differing customs, is something I can offer to my children. This is as important to me as building new traditions that embrace our changing world. In tandem, I hope these approaches will allow them to become the empathetic and respectful citizens I aspire for them to  be.
      Photo: King's Church International on Unsplash
      Read more...
    • When a child has a developmental difference, a positive parent-teacher relationship is even more important.
      The relationship a parent has with their child’s teacher plays a big role in their child’s academic success. When a child has a developmental difference, a positive parent-teacher relationship is even more important — as the stakes are significantly higher. To learn more about cultivating a good parent-teacher relationship, we sat down with Jennifer Rosinia, a developmental differences expert at the Erikson Institute. 
      Why is a good relationship with my child’s teacher so important?
      A good relationship between parents and teachers has been shown to improve a child’s academic achievement, social competencies and emotional wellbeing. And, as it turns out, parents and teachers benefit from a good relationship, too!
      [Related: How to advocate for your special-needs child in CPS]
      When parents have a good relationship with their child’s teacher, they develop a greater appreciation for the important role they play in their child’s education, learn more about the school’s academic programs and how they can incorporate them into their home routines. For teachers, a positive parent relationship enables them to focus more on teaching and meeting students’ needs.
      What can a parent do to foster an effective parent/teacher partnership for a child with developmental differences?
      Dr. Susan Sheridan of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln offers three “Cs” for good relationships: communication, consistency, and collaboration.
      Communication with your child’s teacher should begin with the school year and continue throughout. Introduce yourself and let them know that you want to partner with them. Find out their preferred way of communicating, and then make sure communication is timely, and clear and open. Stay informed about what’s going on in school. Remember: The best communication in a partnership is two-way.
      Consistency might also be called “being on the same page.” An effective parent-teacher partnership sends a clear and consistent message to the child that they are working together to support their success.
      Collaboration between parents and teachers identifies and provides strategies to help your child achieve their optimal developmental and learning capacity. Share successes and concerns. Strategize ways to enhance and modify home and school environments. Collaboration means problem solving together, not blaming the other.  
      [Related: Your child received a diagnosis. Now what?]
      My child has developmental differences. What is the first step I should take to ensure they will receive the support they need in the classroom?
      Forming an effective partnership with their child’s teacher should be the first step parents take to ensure their child will receive the support they need in the classroom. If a child has significant or complex support needs, parents might also want to seek testing to identify them. Schools are required to address needs revealed through academic testing.  
      How should I approach conflicts I might have with my child’s teacher about services my child needs?
      If parents have established an effective partnership with their child’s teacher, approaching conflicts should be relatively easy. The following suggestions might be helpful:
      ● Begin by talking with your child’s teacher. Starting with, “Can you help me with this?” can sometimes reduce the risk of a misunderstanding. Ask teachers for their perspective, opinion and suggestions, and try to avoid accusations.
      ● Remind yourself to listen. If you are focused too much on what you want to say, you might miss important information that could help resolve your concern.
      ● Schedule an observation. Spending time in your child’s classroom watching and listening could give you helpful insights about your child's relationships, activities and services.
      ● Seek creative solutions together. If you and your child’s teacher have established a good relationship and partnership, you are one step closer to working together to come up with a creative solution. Do not forget to include your child if they are old enough to participate.
      ● Respect boundaries. When in conflict, it’s easy to cross boundaries. Remember to schedule time to talk. If for some reason you dislike your child’s teacher, take care not to let your child know. You don’t want to disrespect the teacher’s authority.
      ● Still stuck? Speak with the principal. The principal will serve as a neutral party. They will listen to your concerns, gather information from the teacher, and then help resolve the conflict.
      If a child has an Individualized Education Program (IEP), the federal Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) requires that their parents are afforded a legitimate, authentic opportunity to participate in the decision-making process for their child, and should be encouraged to be active participants in their child’s educational plan.
      What other steps should I be taking with my public school district to ensure my child is getting the care they deserve/accessing all the available resources?
      At the end of the day, it’s all about relationships. Get to know your teachers and administrative team. If you can, be active and involved: attend school board meetings, join the PTA, or spend time volunteering in your child’s classroom.
      Additionally, if your child has a developmental difference, know your rights under the law. To learn more, visiting the Illinois State Board of Education is a good place to start.
      Jennifer Rosinia is an occupational therapist and child development specialist. She is currently on faculty at the Erikson Institute as a senior instructor. She holds a master’s degree in early childhood education and a doctorate in child development from Loyola University and Erikson Institute in Chicago.
      Photo by Natasha Hall on Unsplash
      Read more...
    • How to decide what’s best for your child? Weigh all the factors.
      As we begin to talk about the “s” word again ("school"), you may be weighing some options for your kids coming into the fall. If you have a toddler at home, you may also be entertaining the idea of preschool to help get your little one reintroduced to the world, interacting with peers — as well as adults other than your immediate family — and just beginning to develop social skills again as we emerge from our homes.
      [Related: What to look for in a therapeutic preschool]
      While preschool is not a requirement or necessary for later success in school, experts agree it provides an environment for children to explore, play with peers, build self-confidence, and strengthen their social and emotional development, all while having fun and learning routines. If you’re ready to send them off for more of these social experiences, you’ve likely fallen into a lot of options in Chicago for early learning. One factor to also consider in your search is whether your child would be appropriate for a “standard” preschool or a “therapeutic” preschool. It's a good idea to explore some differences in choosing a preschool or a therapeutic preschool for your youngster, as there are several distinctions that separate these two early learning options.
      Ratios
      In Illinois, preschools and daycares are mandated to follow predetermined adult-to-child ratio guidelines. Most stick to these minimum recommendations, which is a great question to inquire about when doing your research! These ratios are as follows:
      • For 2-year-olds a 1:8 ratio, with a maximum group size of 16
      • For 3- to 5-year-olds, 1:10 ratio, with a maximum group size of 20
      • For children 5 and above, 1:20, with a maximum group size of 30
      In a therapeutic preschool setting, most classrooms are much smaller than the recommended maximums. Ratios are also much lower. A typical therapeutic preschool has a class size of 6-8 children, with ratios of adult support anywhere from 1:1 to 1:3.
      [Related: Preschool vs pre-k: What's the difference?]
      Therapy
      If your child receives speech, feeding, occupational, physical and/or behavioral therapy, a therapeutic preschool might be the way to go. This environment has these specialized therapists guiding interventions, providing individual therapy sessions, and helping to generalize different skills among peers. For example, a speech therapist may work individually with a child on answering questions or forming multiple word responses, and then bring the child back to the classroom to practice this new skill with their friends.
      Naps
      Here’s where therapeutic preschools may fall short. Therapeutic preschools are very therapy driven and most do not allow for a 2-hour mid-day nap, as a preschool or daycare set up would offer. If your little one is a power napper, a full day program at a therapeutic preschool may not be the best option for them.
      Diapers
      Some Early Learning programs require enrolled children to be fully toilet trained. This can be a real limitation for some families who feel their children are ready for the social and emotional benefits of preschool, but are not quite ready to spend the day in undies. At a therapeutic preschool, there are potty training programs implemented with each child, as this is a skill most are able to work on because of the low teacher to student ratios they maintain.
      Communication
      Both a preschool and a therapeutic preschool likely offer a lot of great communication options between the teachers and families. Notes going home, apps to receive updates, and face to face interactions help parents feel in touch and in the know about the day to day events with their children. However, if your child’s communication seems to be behind their age-matched peers, this can be a high frustration level for many toddlers who have a good understanding of what’s being discussed, but aren’t quite able to get their thoughts and feelings out effectively yet. A preschool classroom can be a frustrating experience when there are challenges expressing your wants and needs, or advocating for yourself. Important questions to consider: Is my child easy to understand? Can they ask for help when they need it? Are they able to speak up to advocate for themselves? Am I the only one who can understand my child? Reflecting on some of these questions may help lead you to the proper enrollment for your child.
      Enrollment
      Every child can be assessed and receive an IEP (individualized educational plan) at age three in order to have recommendations for placement at a CPS preschool. But did you know that your IEP is good for three years, and you are not required to join a CPS preschool at that time? Students in Illinois are not even required by law to attend kindergarten; however, they must be enrolled in either a home schooling program or a school district by age 6. Therefore, many families opt to pause enrollment from CPS to join a therapeutic preschool and reap the benefits of intensive therapeutic intervention, low student to teacher ratios, and engaging social and peer interactions. But don’t worry: Whether they graduate from preschool or therapeutic preschool, they can still join their peers in either a kindergarten or first grade classroom when they are ready!
      Making a Switch
      There are a handful of preschools in Chicago that enroll in the fall for the entirety of the year. Some have more strict guidelines on classroom placement based on birth date and ability level. However, many allow for enrollment throughout the school year, depending on birth date, availability and current ratios in their classrooms. Most therapeutic preschools enroll throughout the entire school year, and base these enrollments on the needs of the children and their families. So, if you are on the fence about what is most appropriate for your child, ask about enrollment commitments or cancellation fees, should you opt to enroll in a more therapeutic setting later in the year. Having this option may make enrollment in either program an easier commitment.
      Regardless of what you choose for your child, you want this early learning experience to be positive for everyone involved. Ask lots of questions, explore every option, and don’t limit yourself to only your neighborhood school. There may be a better fit for your child and their developmental needs that can get them well prepared to be independent little learners!
      Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash
      Read more...
    • A former kindergarten teacher has ideas for injecting joy into learning in an organic way.
      As a kindergarten teacher, I always believed my top priority was to help children fall in love with learning. The joy was getting them to enjoy school, to cherish the memories they make there and embrace the challenges. I felt that if each child could come to school excited for learning, that I would be setting them up for a lifetime of success. With school buildings closed and parents juggling their own work while also managing online learning and homework, I am afraid this priority of mine is in serious jeopardy.
      How can we, as exhausted and stretched-thin parents, keep learning fun for our frustrated and burnt-out children? How can teachers and the education system maintain rigorous learning while keeping the joys of learning intact? Now, it is more essential than ever to keep learning enjoyable by engaging the whole family in learning, and prioritizing organic learning through play. What exactly does this look like? Read on for some of my favorite ways to play and learn as a family.
      Play a family game
      Think of the amount of learning, thinking, and growing that happens when your family sits down to play a game. If they’re old enough, have your children read aloud the rules and repeat them in their own words. Then, as you play, count and describe your play out loud. Take turns saying “Your turn!” and sharing materials. Not only are your young ones benefiting from intentional family time, but they will be learning social skills, strategy, reading, and comprehension skills, too.
      [Related: Reintroducing playdates in a post-pandemic world]
      Take to the kitchen
      Some of the best learning can happen with a hands-on approach in the kitchen. Have your child help you write out the grocery list: encourage them to spell words out on their own or copy the letters from current packaging. Involve your child in the recipes you create by having them read the recipe card to you. All kinds of math takes place in cooking: fractions, conversions, and counting. And don’t forget science! Have your child help you discover the purpose of baking soda, or what happens to yeast in water.
      Spread some joy
      We all know someone who could use a smile. Have your child write letters to loved ones, make a book for a neighbor, or read to a younger sibling. Addressing and mailing the letters are half the fun!
      [Related: You can make eating out with your kids actually enjoyable]
      Follow their interests
      Does your child love building? Have them invent a new way to hang the towels in the bathroom or store items in the closet. Have an artistic one? Have them paint a picture, then write a note describing the image they created. Does your child love “search and finds”? Have them find and highlight sight words in a newspaper or magazine.
      Above all, encourage your children to find their own ways to follow their curiosities. Have them ask questions about things that matter to them, and work to find the answer together. We owe it to our youngest learners to keep this journey exciting for them. Their (and our) future depends on it!
      Read more...
    • Show yourself compassion because there is no perfect parent…especially during a pandemic.
      I can hardly believe it myself when I tell people that I have been a pediatric mental health therapist for 12 years now. I mean, that is over a decade of my life! I would say that I don’t know where the time went, but I do. A lot has happened since beginning my professional career. I moved to Chicago, got engaged, and landed my dream job. But what really makes time fly is having kids. Nothing in my life has made me realize just how fleeting life is more than raising children. One day they fit into the palm of your hand, and the next, they barely fit in your lap.
      There are a lot of expectations about what kind of parent I am and how I raise my kids. After all, I keep up to date on the latest research in child development and behavior. My passion is in supporting parents and teaching parents how to be connected and attuned to their children. So I talk A LOT with parents. I am often told by parents I work with, “I bet your kids are so well behaved,” or, “I bet you never yell.” (Yikes, the pressure!)
      Of course, I do have to practice what I preach, and while I try my best to be a playful, accepting, curious, and empathic mother…I am also a “good enough” mom. I am not perfect. Despite my training, my knowledge, my passion, and my love, I am here to tell you: if you only knew how I epically fail on a daily basis! Well, actually, maybe it would help. Maybe it would help you have some compassion for yourself, because I promise you there is no such thing as a perfect parent, and good enough is actually all you need (and this is backed by research!).
      [Related: This is how to travel with young kids during COVID]
      So in all my vulnerability, I will share with you my top 10 epic parenting fails during the COVID-19 pandemic:
      Becoming so frustrated and out of control with my own emotions when my 5-year-old refused to go to bed that I threatened to throw out her JoJo Siwa Bow. Feeling guilty about my (above) tantrum, giving in, and allowing my 5-year-old to stay up till 10pm watching Naked and Afraid. (This went on for a month.) Experiencing the full range of working-mom shame when my daughter named each family member’s hobby and declared, “Mommy’s hobby is work.” Begging my 5-year-old to “Just leave me alone for two minutes while I finish my Zoom call!” realizing that I actually did not mute my mic. Spacing out from exhaustion while the baby crawls on the lawn…and eats actual bunny poop. Logging in my kindergartner late to virtual school. Every. Single. Day. Witnessing her announce to her teacher, “Sorry I am always late. We like to sleep in.” Knowing pandemic guilt has turned me into a “Yes” mom, and I have a trillion stuffed animals to prove it. Thinking that brushing my kid’s teeth before dessert was OK. Hello, child’s first cavity. Being mindless while getting my children out of the car and putting my laptop on top of the car. Forgetting about my laptop. Finding my laptop smashed to bits on North Avenue. If a child therapist can’t get it right all the time, take some pressure off yourself to be perfect. After all, we are in the midst of a pandemic. We are all truly doing the best we can. And that is good enough.
      Read more...
About us
Membership
Support us
facebook twitter instagram
info@npnparents.org

Privacy Policy Membership Terms

© 2024 Neighborhood Parents Network of Chicago

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Thank you for visiting our site. Browsing this site is an acceptance of our We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and Terms of Use.