Jump to content


  • Julianne Neely

    Julianne Neely MSW, LCSW, is a business owner, special needs mom, foster-adopt parent and pediatric therapist. Julianne has become the leading expert in pediatric mental health in Chicago, where she owns and manages Individual and Family Connection



    Julianne Neely

    Julianne Neely MSW, LCSW, is a business owner, special needs mom, foster-adopt parent and pediatric therapist. Julianne has become the leading expert in pediatric mental health in Chicago, where she owns and manages Individual and Family Connection

    Don't talk about my body in front of my kids

    Sign in to follow this  
    My daughter needs to learn that there is more to talk about than body shape.

    If there is one thing I would change about my body it would be how people view it. Because they don't just view it, they feel the need to comment about it. In front of my children. 

    Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop talking about bodies, about my body. 

    "Oh my god, you're so skinny!" isn't praise or a helpful observation. It's annoying, unnecessary and not something I want my children to hear on repeat. 

    I actually own a few mirrors. I've seen my reflection and I don't need every other stranger and non-stranger to mention my appearance. I don't need your help in forming an opinion about my size. I especially don't need my children seeing my body through those comments. 

    At the current rate of remarks, my poor children are going to grow up thinking bodies are the most important thing to talk about. 

    "Oh my god, you look so... " STOP. Is that really the first thing you want to say upon seeing me? Is that supposed to be a greeting? How about asking how the kids are doing? You know, these little humans, right here, in front of us, hearing everything you say? 

    Oh, my dear fellow women who also struggle to love their bodies, what makes you think skinniness is a thing to be praised? Do you really want my daughter growing up thinking she needs to walk around seeking public appreciation for her body?

    My weight is not a badge of pride. It's often a sign a stress. Stress impacts bodies. So does illness and an endless list of other things that are not worthy of praise. Things that are not always in my control. Things that are actually scary and not something I want to talk about, especially if you're not a close friend of mine, and certainly not in the middle of Target. 

    So please, let's find a better way to greet one another and more meaningful things to chat about.

    I am proud of the things my body can do. It can follow wobbly toddlers and keep them from falling, it can soothe crying babies when I hold them close, it holds a heartbeat that my daughter loves to nuzzle in and listen to.

    I want our children to see us finding as much comfort and love in our body as they do. It keeps them safe, regulated and calm. 

    That's how they view my body and that's the view I want to have reflected back to me every day. It's what I choose to see. I don't need you interrupting that. 

    Related articles:
    I fear my Black son becoming a man
    5 things moms should never say to other moms
    The special needs of a special-needs parent

    Sign in to follow this  

    More related articles

    This summer, let your child be bored

    Boredom is good for kids. Find out how boredom can stoke creativity, awaken passions and interests, and more.

    Resources to help you talk about racism with your kids

    These books, websites, podcasts, articles and more can help you facilitate conversations about racism with your child.

    Raising British kids in the States

    Sharing my traditions, and showing respect for differing customs, is something I can offer to my children.

    Supporting your gifted child during Covid: focus on growth and take a step back

    Parents of gifted children encounter unique challenges when it comes to keeping their gifted children engaged.



  • Join NPN!
    Become a part of our Chicago parenting community. Learn about member benefits and start connecting to other city parents today!

Privacy Policy Membership Terms

© 2021 Neighborhood Parents Network of Chicago

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Thank you for visiting our site. Browsing this site is an acceptance of our We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and Terms of Use.