10 Questions to Ask Your Kid to Make Sure They’re Okay at School

It’s every parent’s daily puzzle: you ask, “How was school today?” and your child answers with the dreaded one word response, “good.” While short responses are totally normal, they don’t always give you the full picture of how your child is really doing - socially, emotionally, or academically.

The truth is, kids often need a little help opening up. By asking thoughtful, specific questions, you can create space for them to share their experiences and feelings in a safe way. Here are 10 questions that go beyond the surface and help you check in on your child’s well-being at school.

1. Who did you play with (or hang out with) today?

This simple question gets them naming names. If your child regularly says “no one,” it could signal they’re struggling to make connections.

2. Who do you sit with at lunch? What do you all usually talk about?

Lunch is social prime time! This reveals whether your child feels included and has friends to spend time with during the most social part of the day.

3. If you had to invite one friend from school over, who would it be?

Asking about a potential playdate or hangout shows you who they trust and genuinely enjoy spending time with.

4. Did anyone make you feel really happy (or really upset) today?

This opens the door to both the positive and the negative. Helping kids feel comfortable sharing the highs and the lows.

5. Who do you think is the funniest kid in your class?

A fun, lighthearted way to learn who your child gravitates toward or admires. Sometimes laughter is the glue that bonds friendships.

6. Has anyone ever said something mean or teased you? What did you do?

Kids may bring up teasing before admitting to bullying. This question lets them process tough interactions without feeling pressured or like they're tattling.

7. Is there anyone at school you don’t really like being around? Why?

It gives kids a safe space to talk about uncomfortable or tricky situations without labeling it as conflict or drama.

8. If I asked your teacher who your best friend is, what would they say?

This helps you see if your child’s “friendship reality” matches how others might perceive it and it’s a good way to check in on how connected they feel.

9. When you’re working in groups, who do you usually end up with?

Academic and social dynamics overlap here. Group work can highlight whether your child feels included or left out by peers.

10. If you saw another kid getting picked on, what would you do?

This not only reveals your child’s perspective on bullying, but can also hint at whether they’ve experienced it themselves.

These questions aren’t meant to be an interrogation. The goal is to sprinkle one or two of them naturally into your daily routines - on the walk home, during dinner, or at bedtime, so conversations feel easy and open. Over time, these check-ins build trust and give your child the confidence to share more about their world at school.

And let's be realistic, your child probably won't ope up right away. Don’t be discouraged. Keep asking, keep listening, and keep showing up.