Saying Goodbye to Your Beloved Nanny

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Written by: Karla Issa

 Karla Issa has been a professional nanny for more than five years and runs a nanny-consulting firm, Fancy Nannies. She is also a full-time student at DePaul University studying political science/pre-law and entrepreneurship. She resides in Lincoln Park with her pug Lola. 

A transition such as replacing a nanny is difficult to say the least. Whether the change is coming from your end or hers; the conversation is never easy to begin and certainly never painless to deal with.  A lot of questions go through a parent’s mind at this time such as “How will I replace her?”, “How will I tell the children?”, or “Can I find her another family?”. 

The thing you always want to remember amid these questions is that unfortunately, nanny situations are never permanent. At some point during your children’s childhood and adolescence, there will have to be a change. That could arise from employment situations changing within the family, or nannies just needing to move on for their own reasons. Communication is always the best tool you have when you find yourself being involved in the conversation about ending the day-to-day nanny & family relationship.

If you are in the position where you are needing to let your nanny go for reasons outside of her performance let her know that you would like to set a special time to sit down with her to discuss your situation. Make this a time where your kids can be occupied with a movie or some other activity so that this conversation can go uninterrupted.

If you find yourself in this conversation from the nanny’s side hear where she is coming from. Sometimes the employment period may only be for a year or two and the time will come when she is pursuing other career choices or education. Despite this being a transition, be supportive of what she has coming. A great nanny & family relationship will never end when your nanny stops coming every day. It will just shift from being a work situation to a wonderful friendship for you and your children in the future.

On the other hand, some families find themselves employing nannies that regularly plan to stay a maximum of a year or two and then they are expected to move on. This typically happens with nannies who are still in school and are taking care of children while they pursue their education. When you become used to a nanny transition taking place every year or two you should make sure that you and your children don’t become desensitized to the experience. Again, great nannies often become part of the family and the frequency of them coming and going doesn’t necessarily make this easy. Make sure to take the time to express how much they mean to you. It is important to also make sure your children appreciate each nanny they have.

Hopefully the nanny transition can become a little bit easier when you try to remember that this is not always the end. Plan a time for her to come back and babysit the children in the near future or plan a Saturday lunch to catch up with her. Everyone involved will always appreciate the willingness to maintain this special bond for a long time to come. 

Posted on August 06, 2012 at 2:04 PM

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  • Saying Good Bye to Your Beloved Summer Nanny

    *any families with school-aged children have full-time summer nannies and part-time school-year nannies. Summer nannies, typically college students, usually work from May or June through August or September. When children return to school each autumn, the part-time school-year nannies return to work. For many families, the same two nannies return to their homes each season, year after year. This provides a stable set of caregivers for children, summer nannies have wonderful summer jobs that they can depend on from year to year, and school-year nannies have opportunities for summer vacations. It’s a win for everyone involved . . . but every plan needs solid preparation in order for it to function properly. What do you do to prepare for the departure of your beloved summer nanny? You have three considerations: your children, the outgoing nanny, and the incoming nanny. You need to prepare your children for the departure of their beloved summer nanny while simultaneously preparing them to receive their new nanny with an open mind and heart. You will want to send off your departing nanny in a way that will foster continued relationships between her and your children and ensure that she knows that your family cares for and values her. You will also need to recruit, interview, screen, and hire a new nanny, and prepare for her arrival. Are departing gifts appropriate? Yes. Common gifts include gift cards to her favorite retailers, a cash bonus, gifts hand made by your children, a framed photograph of your children, and paid transportation to her destination community (i.e., airfare to her college town). Another gift that you can give your departing nanny is a glowing letter of recommendation: it may not have cash value, but it may be priceless nonetheless. How do you help your children prepare for and then cope with the absence of their beloved summer nanny? Let your children know that their beloved nanny will be leaving, as well as when and why she will be leaving. If she will return again next summer, tell them that as well. Encourage open conversation between you and your children, and between the nanny and your children, so that the children can come to terms with what is happening. Once the departure has happened, comfort your children. Spend extra time with them. Listen to them talk about what they’re thinking/feeling. If possible, keep the lines of communication open between your children and the nanny. For example, you may help your children write letters to your nanny. Or you may help them place periodic calls to her. Minimize the number and size of any other changes that may be happening to or around your children during this time. How do you prepare for a new nanny? Assuming you have already hired a new nanny, the steps you need to take to prepare for her arrival include: preparing a room for her (if she is to be a live-in nanny), preparing an employment contract and job description, assembling the necessary employment documents (W-4, Form I-9, etc.), making sure that all necessary information (contact telephone numbers, etc.) are all in easy-to-find locations, and preparing an orientation/training checklist (which includes your expectations regarding a nanny log and periodic meetings between you and nanny to ensure good communication). How do you help your children prepare for a new nanny? Letting your children have voice in selecting their new nanny is the first step toward helping your children prepare to receive her well. This can be accomplished by including your children in final interviews of the nanny"http://www.nannies4hire.com":http://www.nannies4hire.com candidates. After the job offer has been made and accepted, but before the new nanny begins work, speak with your children often about their new nanny and all the good times they may have with her. On the nanny’s first day of employment, stay with your children and their new nanny: this helps to smooth the transition. Plan some fun activities on nanny’s first day: go to the park, pack a picnic lunch, etc. For the first few weeks, pop in unannounced to check on your children and their nanny. Minimize the number and size of any other changes that may be happening to or around your children during this time. By following these simple steps, you can smooth the transition from full-time summer nanny to part-time school year nanny for everyone.

    by Candi on 08/16 at 09:42AM

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