From Working to Stay-At-Home Mom & Back Again

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Written by: Elise Jaffe

Not only am I the mother of a 10 month old little girl, I'm also the owner of 2 companies- Big Teeth Productions, a production company specializing in web video, and Fooditude, a multimedia company teaching kids about life through food.  I can be found freelancing as a producer at various ad agencies and post production houses around Chicago and, as if that weren't enough I'm also a SAG AFTRA Voice over talent.  I am certainly a woman who wears many hats. 

In just 10 short months I’ve gone from being a full time mom, to a part time mom to a full time mom to a full time working woman. 

Years ago, when having a child was just a hypothetical, I used to think I could never be a stay at home mom.  I’ve always been obsessed with my career and loved to work. Even when I met my husband I made it quite clear that I would love to have a househusband one day.  He knows about my dream of coming home on the train only to find him, with a stroller and even a dog waiting for me at the station.  It was kind of a joke to us for while, until I was pregnant and reality set in.

I suddenly fell in love with the idea of staying home part time with my future baby. When Carmen was born I took 7 weeks of maternity leave…well, sort of, when you own your own business I guess you’re never really “off” – in fact, I even did some work from my hospital bed the day after she was born.  I then went back to work 2 days a week and found myself to be quite productive on those days. 

I put Carmen on a few daycare waitlists figuring by the time she was 6 months or so, that would be great for her socially.  Then our nanny quit because she needed full time work and none of the daycares came through.  I decided to test my luck at being a full time mom to a 6 month old, much harder than a newborn – at least in my eyes. 

While I enjoyed many of my hours with her I just felt as though I wasn’t that good at the job.  While others praised me for my juggling act and I found myself better at the job then I expected I still felt I was letting myself and my baby down.  And then 3 months later, the call came- a full time spot in my 1st choice daycare.  I was thrilled and then my heart sank – would I ever be as close to my child again?  

It’s only been 2 weeks and I have to say, I should have trusted my instincts from the beginning.  While I miss sharing every moment with her, I know this is the situation that we were meant to be in.  I feel I am a better mom, I value all my moments with her and I love being able to fully focus on my work again.  I can’t wait to get her at the end of the day and melt when I see her bounce up and down when I walk in the room.

Every woman is different and we really need to just trust our instincts.  I’m lucky I had the ability to test out every situation and find that what I thought was right for me all along, really was!   

Posted on July 01, 2012 at 2:44 PM

Comments

2 Replies

  • Stay at home vs Working Outside the Home

    There is never one right answer for everyone. Many of the moms I come into contact with think they will go back to work as soon as possible. Many are also surprised to learn that these feelings changed once they had the baby. If you are breastfeeding - it is so much easier to stay home. The first year the baby will change do much! With advance planning most parents can budget for this. Other moms find part time work a great option. What ever you choose please be true to yourself first. Making choices from guilt, duty or fear is not very satisfying for you or the baby. I was a teacher when I had my son. I was able to plan his birth so that I had the summer with him. Then I had a job share for two years. It was perfect for me. I managed to breastfeed him for eleven months! I loved being a parent!

    by bestbirth on 07/02 at 11:23AM

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  • Love the idea of trusting ones instincts

    Great article, thank you for sharing. I appreciate your comment that every one of us is different. I think that so much of us feel pressure that we should take such joy with being home with our children or that we should be working outside of the home while someone else cares for them. I work part time and definitely appreciate the mixture that this brings to my week- time away, time at home. I still struggle though with feeling like I am working two full time jobs- that I need to prove to my coworkers that I am pulling my weight, and then at the same time that my home is taken care of, meals prepped, etc because I am home for two days a week. I am not bringing home much after paying for my daughter's daycare, so I am basically working for the privilege of working! No one has the perfect situation, and it would be so helpful if we were able to try out different combinations of being home and working as the author was able to do.

    by Lindsay on 07/02 at 02:20PM

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